This isn't about you or what you're doing or not doing, this is about your b/f inability to allow himself enough time to come. Sounds like you get him close and he doesn't want to wait so he goes ahead and does what he's been doing for years- cumming by masturbation. He needs to learn to not be so impatient to climax. He needs to get his libido under control. You don't state your age but I would suspect he or both of you are young. They best way to handle this is to make sure you have plenty of time together and for him to agree not to 'take over' the minute he wants to cum. After getting him close but not cumming, he will learn to climax under your control. He just needs to learn how to climax with different stimulations. Remember, he has probally not came any other way than by his own hand, he just needs to allow his body to react under other stimulation.

This happens a lot. I've been with a girl like this... Active sex life, but couldn't make me orgasm. And no, it is not a libido problem. It was simply that these girls were not very experienced, in comparison to what i've had in the past. Taking a step down and reaching climax is not an easy thing to do, and can be frustrating. And yeah, it comes to the point where i'd have to take care of it myself if I really wanted to. All the waiting and patience in the world wouldn't do it. Sometimes i'd have to stop them... Simply because it gets frustrating, sure they'll bring me up there... But they don't know how to give it that extra 10% to push over the edge. If I went back to the girl I was with who really knew what she was doing, then i'd have a solid 4-5 orgasms a night easy and she'd still keep on going. I'm also similar in the aspect that I love being in control and a girl that likes to be man-handled once in a while. (can ya blame me? I'm a 6'1" @ 235lb bodybuilder... The sense of submissive / domination is almost unavoidable.)

in either case, don't let this bother you... Pick up a few good educational books, experiment a little, and with experience and guidance you'll be able to blow his mind.