Well,
first of all you are the person who sees while you are living with this person what she cannot see. Some of your insights are valid to one of the types of bipolar disorder but I am not a therapist or a doctor. I am a woman who went through marriage as if nothing was wrong. Everybody else was being difficult, it wasn't me...I was in denial and uneducated. My husband, sister, and my mother even had a meeting to discuss what was happening with me as I appreared to be struggling. I had no idea about this meeting and no action came of it. The type of man my husband is it was easier to be in denial or let my family fix me but he chose to do nothing.
Second I have not found any tests you can take to discover if you are bipolar.
The best way is to seek treatement
1. In-patient through a psyc hospital program
2. Out patient through a therapist who can then reccomend in-patient
evaluation
caution
you cannot do this to/for your wife she has to seek help for herself.
Just some honest feedback. Good luck, ruby