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Hard Time Reaching Orgasm!!! (Page 1)

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Hello,

this is like, totally embarassing for me, but I have a really hard time reaching orgasm. By manual stimulation (when im alone) it takes 5-10 minutes, but when im around my boyfriend it takes 10-20 minutes! I'm not gay, but I think I might have privacy issues. I also, don't get an orgasm from sex, I have to stimulate myself! My boyfriend feels like a "lesser man" because he can't give me an orgasm, but I can give myself one. I am actually kind of ashamed, cuz maybe something's wrong with me. I really have no idea. Is there anything that could make me more sexually stimulated/able to reach orgasm faster? Like what I mean, is things other than vibrators. If anyone could help me with my questions I would greatly greatly appreciate.

Thanx a bunch,
betty boop

ps. Do any of u girls experience alot of wetness, during the day, and times when your not supposed to be? Lol
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First Helper Betty Boop
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replied October 31st, 2003
First of all, how old are you? When I was younger I had trouble reaching orgasm, and for a while I had to stimulate myself while having sex. Eventually you learn more about your body and what will work for you. This may help, pick a fantasy of yours and believe you are acting it out, it will arouse you and may make it easier to orgasm, also i've found that when I am on top it makes it easier to reach orgasm, this may be graphic, but, grind him to stimulate your clit. Hope I could help!
Good luck~
sara
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replied November 2nd, 2003
Never Ever!
I have never ever had an o! I am married and my husband wishes I could have one! It starts to feel really really good, then I don't even care about the sex anymore after that? I am 19 though? Well, maybe someday!
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replied November 3rd, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
Dont Read It Too Young Please!
The thing is, you have to be really into it. I had the same problem once. Ive been with other guys and never had one, but with jose I do. Sometimes when my mind is on other things, I dont get one at all. But you have to really want it, like be horny. Then it depends on the position and how fast. Im sorry this is graphic so I hope no kids read this. I find that on the positions of missionary, the floor works best. My bed is squeeky as hell so we hit the floor often and with its straightness and stuff it comes easy. Try postioning your legs differently. Like spread them more when hes on top. Sometimes just a wide spread works. Also hold it, like if your going pee and you hold it, try that and then let go. Dont pee though! Lol. And that can bring it too. Once we were making out at the same time and for some reason the tounge action stimulates it best. Try those things or things on your own. Hope it helps!
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replied November 3rd, 2003
Experienced User
Re: Hard Time Reaching Orgasm!!!
betty boop wrote:
hello,

this is like, totally embarassing for me, but I have a really hard time reaching orgasm. By manual stimulation (when im alone) it takes 5-10 minutes, but when im around my boyfriend it takes 10-20 minutes! I'm not gay, but I think I might have privacy issues. I also, don't get an orgasm from sex, I have to stimulate myself! My boyfriend feels like a "lesser man" because he can't give me an orgasm, but I can give myself one. I am actually kind of ashamed, cuz maybe something's wrong with me. I really have no idea. Is there anything that could make me more sexually stimulated/able to reach orgasm faster? Like what I mean, is things other than vibrators. If anyone could help me with my questions I would greatly greatly appreciate.

Thanx a bunch,
betty boop

ps. Do any of u girls experience alot of wetness, during the day, and times when your not supposed to be? Lol
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replied July 11th, 2014
Yea i know exactly how you feel! My boyfriend is getting really stressed because i haven't been able to orgasm through penetration..or when he's fingering me. So when we have sex i am constantly thinking about whether or not i am going to orgasm. But yea im always wet during the day but when we have sex im not at all...
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replied July 14th, 2014
Community Volunteer
The wetness during the day is discharge. The wetness when you get sexually aroused is much lighter and is arousal fluid.

Can you make yourself orgasm? How long does it take?
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replied November 3rd, 2003
Experienced User
Hard Time Reaching Orgasm
Hi,
when I read your message, it felt like I was asking that same question.
I've found that my issue stems from a subconcious weight problem. I am not over weight at all. I know that, but sometimes I get really depressed and feel very obese. I am 20 years old, have two small children, and a great husband. Every time we start having sex I feel fat and ugly.
My husband thinks i'm crazy for feeling that way and does everything to make me feel better, but nothing works.

Help me, help my stressful life. Thanks
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replied November 3rd, 2003
Hi!
I think everyone has some self conscious issues about their own body, but jut remember that your husband thinks you are the hottest you are his goddess and he loves you, you should never feel uncomfortable with him, because he is with you for a reason, he doesn't want you to change he loves every inch of you, and that is why it is so great to be with a significant other. My problem is my breasts, I wish they were big and volumptuous, but they aren't, so there's not much I can do about it. What I found to work is to imagine they are huge and rubbing against him, and seriously within a minute I have an orgasm. Just remember, when you are confidant it will show, to both yourself and whoever you are with. It will make it more enjoyable for the both of you! Have fun girls and be strong!!!
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replied March 16th, 2013
i think this is my problem too. i am a mother of two boys still have a flat tummy no marks a sexy figure but my breasts not stiff and sexy. i usually get an orgasm with the dad but we no longer together and it took me a longtime to find another partner but now i do and my first time having sex with him was about a week ago. i never had an orgasm and e is worried. he did use his tongue suck on my breast and tat usually stimulate me but not that time. my mind was on my breast and my ex i was not into it at all. dont know wen i will ever be, and i like tis guy alot. i am not yet comfortable being around him naked so i guess tat is also one of the problem.
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replied November 6th, 2003
I also have a hard time, but I read on web site that most women don't have an orgasm by just having sex with your significant other, they have to do stimulation also. I have had orgasm without stimulation, but not often, also if you are on top that makes it better.
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replied November 6th, 2003
to Betty Boop
I have the same problem as u...Sometimes I fake it...But 100% of the time...I have to help out
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replied November 14th, 2003
Helpoing Hand
Hey,,nothing wrong about lending a helping hand...My girl requires lots of clitoris stimulation.....I do the stimulation ,,,,called foreplay,,nothing wrong with that...I like to get her to the point where she thinks she is going to get there and then I slow down,,,wow her hips gyrate ,,,,then more kissing and touching,,lots of touching,,,,and her touching me also,,then back to the stimulation...Hand, tongue,,,,fingers,,,sorry if its to graphic,,,,but when she finally begs to get there I go in and still rubbing her spot ,,and right before she gets there I go in all the way,,,,,have more tips if you need them ,,,,,good luck
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replied November 14th, 2003
I have to help out if I wanna get satisfied.....But if I am on top...I always get satisfied....When he is on top..It feels like I get close sometimes but then.....Nothing.
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replied November 24th, 2003
Please Help
This is kinda embarassing but I have never had an orgasm with a guy. I can play with myself and get one I cant get one with a dildo either its crazy and I dont know why. I mean I like to have sex but I dont ever have a orgasm and I want to really bad please give me some tips on how I can. When I have sex I dont ever come close to it am I the only person like that? This is really embarassing but when I have sex I get really wet and real loose and I havent been with but just a couple of guys I dont understand why I get so loose is there any advice if anyone can help please do so I feel embarassed about it I wont to be able to have a orgasm and not be so loose please help!
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replied November 24th, 2003
I just barely got my first "o" a couple of months ago, and I feel wet during the day alot. It just depends on the women, on how wet or dry they are.
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replied November 25th, 2003
Extremely eHealthy
I Never Had One Before:(
I have never had a "o" before..I get close to having one but I feel like I am gonna piss everywhere people tell me thats what it feels like or something but I am embrassed if I do
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replied November 28th, 2003
to Understood-
In one reply you said you have more tips...Please share. Lol thanks for all the help. :d
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replied December 11th, 2003
Orgasm
Reaching an orgasm has alot to do with how comfortable you are with your self and your partner. If you are under any pressure,you will neutralize the whole experience. You must let go of all worries and fear. I always reach the clitorial orgasm and over the years, they come much faster. I am pretty sure to have hade vaginal orgasm but not 100% sure. I have tried many positions and found one quite interesting. Depending maybe of the size and curve of the penis, if I lay on my back and close my legs, after having a clitoral orgasm, and penetration begins, it increases the orgasm feeling and I go crazy. Using vibrators can actually make things worse because it is to powerful and to go back to the penis, it can make it more difficult. Concentrate on your self during intercourse. I use to always concentrate on my partner and it would interfear with my pleasure. I cant appriciate things like 69 (sorry for graffics) but to reach my orgasm point, I must focus my self. It may sound selfish but their is plenty of time to take care of the other before and after. Make sure you have an open relationship where you can discuss everything. Likes, dislikes. I read someones reply and it really helps to tease. Dont let your partner get streight to the point. He has to make you want it sooo bad that it drives you crazy. To play around and you know that once he touches you at the right place, it will be so intence that if he pulls away, you almost want to cry and once he returns to that spot you want it to last forever. It also helps to take two fingers and squeeze the clitoris in between, it makes it stick out and more sensative.
I hope this has helped.
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replied August 24th, 2009
Afraid to sleep with him!
Me and my man have not slept together and part of that reason is because I have never gotten an O and Im afraid of making him feel like crap and Im not good at faking it and he is coming home from Iraq in three weeks and I want to surprise him but really nervous about it. Been together for a while and I know he has been patient and faithful! Please help!
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replied November 4th, 2010
Beoken Angel
These replies help me a lot. I also have a hard time simetimes reaching and orgasm and I feel that something is wrong with me someitmes, My husband feels he's not doing the job anymore for me but he does. Although I may not orgasm everytime havign sex with him is always amazing and intence so either way I feel satisfied. The trick I have learned it using forplay before you start which helps and also my favorit position is me on top cus I have the ability to position myself to hit my G spot. We are very open in our relationship and discuss everything. What do Do realize that does interfeer is me feeling very unattractive, But I know to my husband I'm beautiful and that's what I have to think about as well think about only what satisfys me which helps also. We are a very sexual couple and tease eachother whenever we get the chance which makes it more fun in the bed with all that built up sexual fustrastion as I like to call it.
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replied June 20th, 2011
-------READ THIS-------
I'm just chiming in to say that I believe the most common difficulty in achieving orgasms for women is the performance-related anxiety.

here is something you girls should remember - and focus on as justification to focus on your own pleasure during sex.

1: Guys have a penis.

2: Penii (sp?) are VERY easy to please.. i.e. anything touching it

3: The more into your own pleasure you are, the more fluid your sex together becomes (having a girl grab you during sex and demand something a certain way is UNBELIEVABLY hot)

4: If you are going to feel self conscious about getting your rocks off, so is he. (Queue passive tug-o-war over who "deserves" to be pleased)

5: If you let yourself be selfish.. for just 5 minutes, and enjoy that tongue and the body and the warmth and connection simply for your own pleasures' sake.. you can show him your appreciation afterward by giving him everything he ever wanted.

(seriously - if you get what you want, and get off and display the same confidence around your own jiggly bits as he does.. he's not going to have to wait very long to get his rocks off)...

think of it as a lesson in synergy. it takes 2 to tango and if one of you has reservations about sexual gratification/satisfaction it's going to start that little game in your head that gets in the way of everyone having a good time.

sex is a very focused and intimate encounter, and you have to WANT it.. you have to feel the desire in your loins when you take off your clothes. Sex is NOT an exercise in vanity, nor is it a fashion show.. it's a wet, unholy amazing adventure about being able to be a total slut (to just that one special someone in your life) and love every minute of it.

don't be afraid to let go and let that selfish, nocturnal, naked fantasy loving freak out! He wants it.

(I know because my girlfriend has the same issues that 99% of you on here are talking about)
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replied December 4th, 2011
cannot climax
im kinda having the same issue with my sexual relationship with my bf and well in the beginning he was able to make me come fast and sometimes multiple times but lately it seems that its been harder for me to reach climax and we honestly dont know why ive gotten to the point where i almost do but yeah >.< i dont, i love my bf i mean were very passionate but it doesnt feel like its enough cuz he finishes and i just dont Sad what i can do to help me climax faster any ideas?

thanks,
Anna,M
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