Maybe some of you can help? I have been having some pretty creepy experiences going on in my life recently, and I started googling my symptoms to see what might be going on. Google led me here.

I have been experiencing alot of deja vu lately. It comes and it goes, every couple or few days, but sometimes as often as 2 or 3 times within a day. When it happens, I am overcome with panic, paranoia, and I just become frozen. I become disassociated, and even though I am aware of my surroundings, but I am not able to interact with it. Its like I am pulled back, and I watch the events unfold. I feel as if I am in a movie, because its like I know what is going to happen, but I am too frozen to do anything about it. (not that anything traumatic has happened during any of these episodes that would necessitate me "doing anything about it" but I think it's more the fact of what is going on with me than what is going on around me)

when this happens, from what I can tell, it lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes. The only thing that makes me feel a little stupid about posting this here, is I don't have any convulsions or seizures, and I don't black out.....It goes just as quickly and easily as it happens. But it leaves me with a horrible feeling of paranoia and anxiety. I feel cold, alone, and just all around freaked out by the experiences.

I have also been having bad problems with my memory. I can remember some things, others I cannot. I forget important stuff, like meetings or appointments, but remember stupid little things like my girlfriend wants fettucini alfredo for dinner tonight. I seem to remember long term things from my past (like the time when I was 8, me and my best friend did *fill in blank here*) better than short term things (such as I made a dentist appointment last week for tomorrow afternoon).

A little backgroound: I am a 27 year old male. I work part time as an auditor for an inventory company, and I go to college full time. I drink occasionally (like once every couple of months, in a social atmosphere), and I do not do drugs. I am not currently on any medications, and other than this, I believe I am in pretty decent health.

However, I did used to do drugs, such as mdma (aka ecstacy) and other methamphetamines, tranquilizers such as ketamine, and hallucinagens such as acid and lsd. I quite often did these in excess, and I used to drink very heavily and pop prescription painkillers as well. I quit everything 2 years ago, with the exception of the occasional domestic beer-or-two when at a restaurant or at a club.

Now I am not so naive to think that because I quit everything that the damage isn't still there, or that it is still affecting me in some way. I have done my research and I know that the substances I was using and abusing are the usual suspects when it comes to short term memory loss and other problems.

What I guess my questions are:

1) are these symptoms possibly a sign that I have "developed" a condition through the years of substance abuse, even though I have never had the convulsions?

2) is this a warning sign that there may potentially be a problem such as epilepsy or related medical condition?

3) am I just dealing with flashbacks and am being paranoid or should I go get checked out? If I *should* get checked out, then where would one go if they do not have health insurance?

Thank you in advance for those who offer their insight.

~j.L.