Was posting on another site about how I feel my therapist for anxiety is spying on me, or how she has someone working for her, who is spying on me. I feel that every time I see her, she know's something - something hidden in her eyes. I received a pm from the moderator saying I might have a slight touch of schizophrenia/psychosis - as apparently it emerges in late teens.
I have problems, i'm aware. I suffer from anxiety and i'm being treated for that, with talk therapy. I refuse anti-depressants as I might become reliant on them.
Reason for my concerns of myself, stem from when I was a child. I used to always be alone, play on my own, do everything on my own. I used to play with thin air, pretending it was another person in whatever it was I was playing, but I assume this was normal. All my life I have been extrememly frightened and aware type of individual. Even now, I feel everyone is watching me, is feeding off the fear in my eyes - reading me, you know? But from what I can see that is just plain anxiety? Or isn't it? I also believe in a lot of the 'conpiracy theories' I believe how government is just puppets to manipulate the world. The real people - the puppeteersm are trying to make a new world order. And I also believe that the moon landing was fake, but does this all suggest I am a schizo?
Not long ago, I had the experience of seeing a white light at bedtime and that I was being visised by some energy/being. This was not my imagination as it's in a photo I hold in my living room. I told my therapist of the story, with also saying that I don't mean to sound like a weirdo, and she replied, 'i believe you' all nice and such. She then asked me if I heard voices, in which I replied no, I knew she was onto something, she probably thought I was a schiz, so I denied hearing voices. I have actually heard voices, but only when I was really little. I'd be on my own in a car and i'd hear someone repeat what i'm saying, this is non-existent now, but the rather 'strange' past experiences have made me increasingly concerned.
What would your first impression be if someone told you this?
