Just a Child...

Hey im 14 and I have been bulimic for 3yrs and I hate it to.....So umm I really dont no what to say because I am stilll doing it but ppl have told me that the first thing to tecovery is to find out the reason u first started it...And I think u should take it step bye step??? Each day that really the only way it works I wish I could use my own advice but it is just toooo hard..And I just wanna let u no that it isnt going to be easy to stop it is veeeyyy hard.......I always say if I loose 5 more iibs I no I will stop and be happy but I dunno.....So r u like really skinny??? Im not I always wished I was.. I have no self esteem either it hurts me sooo much when I hear the word fat it just gets to me soooooo much:( and I really wished it wouldnt....I mean like why me why do I have to be the one in pain every day I really hate looking at my self in the mirrior because of what I see....Wanna no what hurts me the most when ppl say u r doing this for attemtion because its like noo im not u have no idea what I go threw each day...Welll I hope I helpes u a lil ??? It kinda nice talkking to some one who is near my age I just turned 14 in sep....Welll keep me posted...Bye love~kelsey~

Wow. Yeah its nice to share things with someone my age... Well. The reason I started it is, mmm probably because my mom used to be bullimic, but she is kinda obsessed with her weight and she exercises a lot when she eats like very much, so I didn't want to stay behind, but I chose to throw up. Another reason is because since I was like little, I have never been happy with myself. I've always been fat (i really am) i'm a little overweight (level 1) but the thing here is I am not happy with myself, I want to be... Just... Normal. I understand perfectly about your pain at the mirror. It really sucks. I just can't smile!!!! You know something funny? I envy more a girl that is like 200 pounds but happy, that a 85 pounds girl who hates herself (like me, except I don't think im 85 pounds)

today I had a really bad day: I ate like a pig. Cookies. Butter. Bread. I threw up every little piece, I think. It hurts. I started vomiting blood. One part of me says: "stop! Please don't hurt me!" and the other says: "nooo, its your punishment for eating so much, let's go again" I hate inner battles. At the end, I just couldn't throw up more, it hurted like hell; so I got angry with myself, I found a razor and started cutting my left wrist. It actually didn't hurt at all.
Sometimes I think about suicide.
I know im in a hole.

Does it happen to you?

Hey omg I have the some problem....I havent ever thrown up blood but I do get bloddy noses some times...I eat like a pig to yesterday..I had candy....Chips...Pizza...And I was like omg why am I doing this......My stomach hurts soooo much when I throw up some times I feel like my body is refusing to throw up...If you dont mind me asking how much do u weigh?? I am 5'o and I weigh 145 and I hate it sooo much I want to get down to 100 so I have a loonnggg weigh to go:( I have cut my wrist and I dont no why I do it like I dont really do it have done it like 3x I think??? And I have thought of suicide be 4 I no that is bad but id rather die than be fat....And every day I say im not ganna eat anything yet I still do..Today I had the chance to eat nothing cause I didnt go to school I told my mom I didnt feel good witch I dont so I had the house to my self yet I frigen had waffels for breakfast and I dont wanna throw it up cause I hate the taste of it...Some foods I just cant do it they tast sooo0oo0o00o bad....Like pizza,spegetti....So im like what we should help each other to loose weight cause I no im not ganna be happy till im skinny.....Welll talk to ya soon:)

Happy till i'm skinny... That sounds so familiar. Well, I have no idea how much do I weigh in pounds, but i'm 153cms tall and I weight like 55kgs. My body refuses to throw up also. But I gave up last weekend. It was so depressing. I ate pizza, doughnuts, brownies... **ck! I went to a naturist store and bought... Uh I don't know how to call it, I think its chrome. In spanish is "picolinato de cromo". It reduces fat and helps you loose weight. Time ago I asked my mom if I could comsume it, but she refused to. So this time I bought it in secret. Nice. I hope it could help me.
It could help you too.

Peace.
Love
empathy