Hello
i have been dating this great amazing guy
for 10 months. We are very serious and
have been talking a marriage and our
future. Well lately he has been not as
touchy feely and that was making me upset.
So we fought. Well last week he broke up
with me saying that he needs time to sort
all of this out. He said that he cant
control his head and he doesnt want to
hurt me. He has not talked to me in a
week and it is driving me crazy. I love
him with all my heart but he is keeping
his distance. The thing is though he is
around his guy friends all the time now?
He has put a lot of stress on himself with
school full time and work full time among
other things, his mother called me asking
if I have heard from him and I tild her
about him breaking up with me. She said
this was a part of his depressive episode.
What do I do?? I love him so much and
want to do something to help him but he
avoids me saying that he needs time. I
dont want to get on his nerves and bother
him but I miss him so much!! Has anyone
been here before and can offer me
something?? Please help!!
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lucybuttons
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 01-27-05 12:44pm
I work with people who have the
disorder..I know it is really hard, but if
he is saying he needs space, then give it
to him. I t may benefit you to research
the disorder a bit. If he is on a down
swing (depressed) right now, it is
probably best to be apart, as it is hard
for people without the disorder to
understand why they are acting the way
they do. And as you said, causing
fights. If he really loves you, then a
little time apart is not the end of the
world. My suggestion would be to not
pressure him, or you may find him running
in the other direction. The other aspect
to the whole scenario is...Maybe it has
nothing to do with his disorder and maybe
he is wanting to end things, you should
look for an answer in him as opposed to
his mother.
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loveabip
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 5
Posted: 01-27-05 22:08pm
I hear what you are saying and I want to
tahnk you for the advice about giving him
his space. The other thing about him
wanting to end things, I wish you could
have heard everything he has told me. I
just dont think that he could want to end
things. We were way to in love. He said
that he doesnt want me to go through what
his mother had to and he needs to "fix"
his head so we can be happy. His father
was bipolar and left his mom without ever
telling her anything., he was not on meds
or anything. My boyfriend says that he
doesnt want to do that to me. I think
that he is just scared that he would hurt
me somehow,. I just dont like him pusing
me away like he is. I want to help or at
least be there for support. I love him
with all my heart no matter what. I still
dont know anything really, he texts me
every once in a while but wont talk to me.
I have been doing a lot of reading and
looking at books, but they only help so
much. I just want to be with him and
support, hug, be there for him. I dont
know what do you think????
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shiz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 02-02-08 20:51pm
im really worried my boyfriend of 2 years
besides his problems i think his past and
all the supressed emotions are taking its
toll on him as well as worrying about th
future work/uni etc .his pushed me away
saying he loves me i cant be with you
right now i loveyou please understand. his
head feels like its going to explode and
its getting to much. he wont talk to no1
and now is constantly out of his head on
drugs and drink completley out of
character. has turned into some extravert
being overly happly all the time and
saying his fine then will have out bursts
and cry get angry and violent and break
down then the next day do the whole im
fine get out of his head routine. he is a
very closed person which is even more
frustrating i feel useless. then he will
cry say his scared get back with me then
get rid of me again and do all this. i
really do not know what to do, he wont let
me in. i know you cant help people who
dont want to help themself but i love him
so much, but the way things have got
lately drinkdriving and the drugs and
finding him passed out in the street i
cant stand by and watch him destroy
himself
help???/
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Elizabethh
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Posts: 4
Posted: 02-03-08 02:02am
Having bipolar myself, I can say that
these two guys are acting "normal" for
someone with bipolar who isn't stabilized
by medication. I imagine that they know
about medication, resources and remember
what it's like to be stable. But sometimes
it's hard to get out of that cycle of
being down/agitated/suicidal/manic or
whatever. In other words, the mood has to
run a certain course --- or they need to
get to a hospital.
So hang tight and give them room; and if
necessary drive them to the ER. That's my
advice. I'm sorry you gals are going
through this.
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WHITCOL
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2008 Posts: 2
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
bipolar boyfriend Posted: 08-14-08 03:21am
Hello there, I just got out of a
relationship with a doctor who was having
these mood swings where he would push me
away and get this crazed look on his face
then after I would cry and drain myself
emotionally, he'd call feeling all better.
After much discussion with another
professional and his exwife, I believe he
is bipolar. He agrees there are issues
but keeps skirting around it and refuses
treatment. He being a MD, you'd think
he'd know better. Anyway, after awhile I
didn't know what was normal anymore and
almost ended up in a depression because of
it all. His dramatic mood shifts were so
unpredictable that I could never relax
around him and since he refused treatment,
I had to get away from him. My advice to
anyone in a relationship with a partner
who is bipolar....if they get treatment,
then great it might work out. If they
don't, RUN as fast as you can because if
you don't, you'll end up cracking up.
Believe me.
