What Is Wrong With Me?

Hi there
you would be surprised how many people have felt as you do
including myself but are afraid to admit it. I dont know how
old your son is but whether it's the baby blue, the winter blues
or chemical, depression is makes us feel bad, makes us think
negative thoughts, kills our self esteem, self confidence and
worst of all steals our joy of life. Im not a doctor but it sounds
pretty obvious to me you are extremely depressed and need
to see your doctor. Keep in mind if you're feeling suicidal you
might want to consider going in to the er or emergency walkin.
If you need to talk keep posting or call your local crisis line listed
in the blue pages or just call info 411 they can locate it for you.
Take care and I hope you'll get yourself some help asap. Rani

Try to keep in mind that when you are depressed you can't "trust" your feelings. Something is wrong with the chemicals in your brain ( and mine believe me) that makes things seem awful, hopeless, pointless and as though the joy is all sucked out of life. But the reality is every day you are alive is a gift. I am broke with medical problems, no insurance, and other problems but i'm alive and I try to get whatever I can out of each day. Medication can help, it has it's pros and cons but overall it helps if you can find the right one. You are not alone, there are lots of us out there just getting through the day. Sometimes, I feel so bad but I can't give up I can't leave my better half, my kids. They need me and I need them and sometimes I just have to hang on to that. It is so hard to keep getting out of bed sometimes but then my crazy little shaggy dog jumps on the bed because she wants breakfast and I have to get up :)

I noticed from your words that u are a religous woman cause u are afraid of going to hell if u committed suicide. This means u can distinguish between right and wrong.
Please find a doctor in whom you feel confidence and explain what u are going through . They will help u a lot. I've been blessed with a wonderful doctor ( after years of being ignored) so I know how frustrating it must be for u now.Hang in there and trust your own body until you can establish a good working relationship with a doctor u trust. You should know that depression and anxiety are sometmes part of some diseases symptoms as in my case. After long diagnosis they discoverd that it is part of my lupus symptoms. Now I take effexor for depression beside lupus drugs i'm o.K I survived.
My heart is with u and with your son. Look to his smile and it will fulfill your heart with happiness and joy . You will forget all your rough times.

God doesn’t put you through anything you run your own life. You have choices in life. Path a or path b or there is more paths. If you take path a to do a drug you’re going to be ruining your whole life. But you think no I am going to go through path b and you don’t do that drug your life will only get better. I’m not religious don’t go to church but think about it, god doesn’t make your choices in life you do. You can change your life for the better or the worse. Let your heart do the thinking not you brain because the brain isn’t the smartest. Why do you want to kill yourself anyways??? How old is your son??

Scott, please...Hush..You arent making it better..

Sadness, how long ago did you have your son? Maybe you have ppd(postpartum depression)...I agree with the first 3 posts, try and find a doctor and call a crisis line. Suicidal thoughts isnt a way to find comfort in any kind of stress. Just keep us posted, k?