Hi. He may well be a psycho. He could have antisocial personality disorder. You owe it to yourself to find out. He is the proverbial jekyll/hyde. They love to pick on women and children. The fact that he has had a bad childhood is too bad, he needs therapy, but to abuse you is wrong and that excuse of his bad childhood is ridiculous. But, it appeals to your sympathy.
You may be interested in the following:
another trait, important for everyone who deals with a psychopath, is their ability to evoke pity; the same kind of pity we feel towards invalids or experience for helpless and sick children. They seem completely helpless, lost in a world where they do not belong. Again and again they try to adjust and to cope, in a fashion that always falls a bit shy of the mark. They are eternal strangers, arousing in each of us a longing to help, a feeling we experience with helpless human beings. Often this pity creates difficulties, and many is the person who falls prey to it. We often try to be kind to these "poor" people, and they are "poor" people - our pity is justifiable. However the problem is that psychopaths readily manipulate those around them through just such pity. Women are often victimized: mothering instincts are aroused, or the archetype of the nurse is constellated. They want to protect and care for the poor, sick thing and understandably so, for psychopaths strike protective chords and speak to the desire to help and heal."
psychopaths arouse caring instinct
you say he's in jail for stabbing. It could well be you that was stabbed. I'm afraid you're going to have a nasty time trying to explain this 'love' for him. Are you addicted to a fixer-upper man? It seems your priorities are all screwed up sweetie and you should be running like hell from him.
"i have to tell you something. I am at work at this very moment. I am in the court room. In the past 15 minutes I have had three different women come in and try to get their 'loves' out of jail for battering them. The last woman, was very badly bruised and not all there. Yet she cried and cried that she had to be able to see him. (there is a no contact order with him and he's in jail) how does this happen? I had to explain to her that it was like if he burnt her house down...Maybe she didnât mind it but it was against the law and no amount of love is gonna help this time. I really feel sorry for these women who honestly believe that they can help them or change them. And yet...I other than the physical abuse...Let a man do it to me. It seems for every "p" that is out there, there is at least 3 women wanting to save him!"
abuse survivor quotes
he is using his stories about his troubled childhood to appeal to your sympathies. He knows full well how to pick up a phone and get some professional mental health - which he needs.
What do you know about his past? I would have no hesitation in checking with previous girlfriends about him. It will likely be a real eye-opener for you. The characteristics of a psychopath are so deeply ingrained there is near zero chance of change. You deserve a lot better. There is a whole world out there with people that can benefit by your loving and giving and nurturing nature. But this guy has 2 good arms and 2 good legs and he's an abuser.
Don't wear blinders. Enter new relationships with your eyes wide open. Like tile rest of us, most psychopathic conartists and "love-thieves" initially hide their dark side by putting their "best foot forward." cracks may soon begin to appear in the mask they wear, but once trapped in their web, it will be difficult to escape financially and emotionally unscathed.
the power of those wonderful early months. Like any love-struck person, she runs around telling her friends and family what a terrific guy he is. After talking him up so much, she feels embarrassed to reveal his mistreatment when it begins, so she keeps it to herself for a long time.
Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men, lundy bancroft
take care of yourself and leave him. Otherwise you're faced with "he treated you bad and you're going back for more."
learn as much as you can as fast as you can and protect yourself financially and emotionally - and physically too.
If you don't learn to think for yourself, make your own observations, and form your own value judgments, there will always be somebody out there who will be only too glad to step in and do it for you.
The psychological "bully-victim" relationship it's cause and cure by silas m. Wesley, ph.D.
the excerpts i've used above are just a few of the hundreds of resources at the psychopath forum at msn. They are available to anyone interested or who may even want to find out if there's a chance they could be involved with a psychopath.
There's far more out there than we'd like to think.
How many others like me are there? More than you might think, and our numbers are increasing. Take twenty people off the street and you will find one whose mind ticks so much like mine that you could consider us clones.
take care