My Boyfriend Ips a Psycho (Page 1)

This may sound harsh but. Leave immediately. Chances are things are only going to get worse. The whole situation sounds icky to me. I'm sure you care about this person, but i'm betting you deserve better. Good luck!

I know that it will be hard at first but the best thing for you to do is leave him alone, because if he has tried to kill himself, you would most likely be the next person he would try to hurt. It is best to try to be there for him but it would only hurt you in the long run to continue a relationship.

You like to save people...Just like me. I was in a similar situation. I was with someone because I wanted to help them but you only end up hurting yourself. You can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved! Just leave him cold turkey. I know you care about him and don't want him to get hurt but there's nothing you can do but save yourself!

He went to jail yesterday, for stabbing someone. And even after all that crazy !**@!, I still love him. I visited him in jail and even sent him tee shirts, socks, and underwear, because I care for that boy so much. I have never emotionally been so atatched to another human being, I know he has alot of problems, most of which are from his family lifestyle. But I look at him and it's like seeing a lonely, angry, and sad little pit bull at the pound. I know it sounds crazy but I love him and will stick by him no matter what and see that he gets the help he deserves. He has alot of problems but i'm not bailing out, I said I love you and I truly mean it. His family hasn't even visited him yet. I love this boy so much, I will stick with him and pray to god that he changes his ways. I fell in love with a good person, I look at him in that orange jumpsuit, and even behind the glass I see in his eyes a good person staring back. He's just caught up in a rough age, and i'm all he has, i'm just scared because i'm still a kid too, but I will not leave him. I love him, please give me some feed back, yell at me for being crazy, just let me know what ya'll think.

It is a good thing you love him but I would take this as an opportunity to go away far from him. I am with someone who I thought I could help him, make him feel good about himself and enjoy life. Everybody told me to leave him but I said no, I love that man and i'll stick by him, I will manage to make his life better. Well his life is much better financially but he still feels the same than before and he put me down with him. After 2 years I feel like I am trapped that I need to have some fresh air and start a new life. And I can't do that because I am too scared of how he is going to react. It has only been 8 months you have been with him. You will see in a few years time when the situation is the same or maybe even worse that you had an opportunity given to you at one time and you did not take it. I wish I took that opportunity when it happened.
Stay with him if that is what you really want but before you do this ask yourself this:

what was my life before him?
Is my life more complex since I am with him?
Do I feel happier than before I met him?
Am I ready to sacrifice my life for him?

Good luck,
lili

Hi. He may well be a psycho. He could have antisocial personality disorder. You owe it to yourself to find out. He is the proverbial jekyll/hyde. They love to pick on women and children. The fact that he has had a bad childhood is too bad, he needs therapy, but to abuse you is wrong and that excuse of his bad childhood is ridiculous. But, it appeals to your sympathy.

You may be interested in the following:
another trait, important for everyone who deals with a psychopath, is their ability to evoke pity; the same kind of pity we feel towards invalids or experience for helpless and sick children. They seem completely helpless, lost in a world where they do not belong. Again and again they try to adjust and to cope, in a fashion that always falls a bit shy of the mark. They are eternal strangers, arousing in each of us a longing to help, a feeling we experience with helpless human beings. Often this pity creates difficulties, and many is the person who falls prey to it. We often try to be kind to these "poor" people, and they are "poor" people - our pity is justifiable. However the problem is that psychopaths readily manipulate those around them through just such pity. Women are often victimized: mothering instincts are aroused, or the archetype of the nurse is constellated. They want to protect and care for the poor, sick thing and understandably so, for psychopaths strike protective chords and speak to the desire to help and heal."
psychopaths arouse caring instinct


you say he's in jail for stabbing. It could well be you that was stabbed. I'm afraid you're going to have a nasty time trying to explain this 'love' for him. Are you addicted to a fixer-upper man? It seems your priorities are all screwed up sweetie and you should be running like hell from him.



"i have to tell you something. I am at work at this very moment. I am in the court room. In the past 15 minutes I have had three different women come in and try to get their 'loves' out of jail for battering them. The last woman, was very badly bruised and not all there. Yet she cried and cried that she had to be able to see him. (there is a no contact order with him and he's in jail) how does this happen? I had to explain to her that it was like if he burnt her house down...Maybe she didn’t mind it but it was against the law and no amount of love is gonna help this time. I really feel sorry for these women who honestly believe that they can help them or change them. And yet...I other than the physical abuse...Let a man do it to me. It seems for every "p" that is out there, there is at least 3 women wanting to save him!"
abuse survivor quotes

he is using his stories about his troubled childhood to appeal to your sympathies. He knows full well how to pick up a phone and get some professional mental health - which he needs.

What do you know about his past? I would have no hesitation in checking with previous girlfriends about him. It will likely be a real eye-opener for you. The characteristics of a psychopath are so deeply ingrained there is near zero chance of change. You deserve a lot better. There is a whole world out there with people that can benefit by your loving and giving and nurturing nature. But this guy has 2 good arms and 2 good legs and he's an abuser.

Don't wear blinders. Enter new relationships with your eyes wide open. Like tile rest of us, most psychopathic conartists and "love-thieves" initially hide their dark side by putting their "best foot forward." cracks may soon begin to appear in the mask they wear, but once trapped in their web, it will be difficult to escape financially and emotionally unscathed.


the power of those wonderful early months. Like any love-struck person, she runs around telling her friends and family what a terrific guy he is. After talking him up so much, she feels embarrassed to reveal his mistreatment when it begins, so she keeps it to herself for a long time.
Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men, lundy bancroft

take care of yourself and leave him. Otherwise you're faced with "he treated you bad and you're going back for more."

learn as much as you can as fast as you can and protect yourself financially and emotionally - and physically too.

If you don't learn to think for yourself, make your own observations, and form your own value judgments, there will always be somebody out there who will be only too glad to step in and do it for you.


The psychological "bully-victim" relationship it's cause and cure by silas m. Wesley, ph.D.

the excerpts i've used above are just a few of the hundreds of resources at the psychopath forum at msn. They are available to anyone interested or who may even want to find out if there's a chance they could be involved with a psychopath.

There's far more out there than we'd like to think.



How many others like me are there? More than you might think, and our numbers are increasing. Take twenty people off the street and you will find one whose mind ticks so much like mine that you could consider us clones.

take care

I used to be the same way, always trying to save people. That made me feel better about myself. I'm guessing you are probably pretty young. I learned over the years that I needed someone with confidence and someone who made me feel better about me enough to realize I could do so much better than the losers I had chosen. They did nothing but bring me down. My life was chaos until I met my knight in shining armour! It is nice having the confidence to know that I don't need someone who is needy......It is nice to help people, but hey, be a counselor. Find someone who will make you want to be a better person. Someone you want to have children with and you would feel safe with. Also someone whom you would feel your children are safe with. Think of it that way. It is not your job to take on his problems. You think it is love but i'm telling you from experience, it is a habit. When you find someone to treat you like a lady, and he builds you up, you can relax with him, never looking over your shoulder, not walking on eggshells, he is your safe place......Then that, my friend, is love.

Honey I beg you to get out of this situation. I would like to give this person you love the benefit of the doubt but the fact is he is dangerous, to himself to other people and to you. I'm wondering if maybe you feel sorry for him and that is what is ultimalety keeping you with him. Baby you can't save him, he has to save himself. You deserve to be in a safe, loving, honest, and healthy relationship. I am soooooo far from perfect so please do not take offense to my reply. Leave him before things get worse. I do not know the level of your intimacy with him but, he does not sound like he would be a stable father to an innocent child. Keep that in mind to okay.
Best,
vanessa

I am married to a man with bipolar disorder so I know what it is like to care for someone that can be very unlovely. The nture of an abusive relationship is that the victim becomes so entangled in the relationship that he/she finds it incredibly difficult to leave. Some call it love; rescuing or whatever...I just call it an incredibly awful place to be!
You said it yoursel...You are only a kid yourself, so make the most of your life and believe me there is definately a future out there for you with someone better than this. You were not put on this earth to be a matyr for this guy and your are not responsible for him... Regardless of what he does. Get out get out get out and make the most of your life...Don't hang around and live to regret it...It will get worse.
Sorry to sound so hard but I cant' help it ...You are crying out for help and for someone to say get out!
Regards and be safe
suziec

Crazt but you needa leave him.Dont stay with someone who hurts you.What the !**@! is that about?

It's been a while since the original post. I hope you're still alive. I went through the same thing and I got out. Even though he turned into a stalker and I was sure I was going to die daily, it ended up being the best thing i've ever done. Now i'm in a happy relationship. My kids are ok, and i'm ok.

! I have been through a similar story although not as bad, and believe it or not she's probably really depressed because of this. People need to learn that when someone is depressed in a situation like this rather than telling somebody to go get help, or that they're doing something wrong, you should help them turn their bad situation into a good one. Your relationship is bad at the moment, yes. However I can see you both love each other. Insanity is not grounds to dismiss a relationship, insane people have hearts too! The fact that you have stuck together shows a great strength of character that most 'sane' people I have seen do not display. Keep working toward your goals, leave if it goes sour, but good luck! Other people will try to hold you down because they don't understand that when you've lived a bad life and finally find somebody to love and love you back, you don't care about fights that last a day or being parted for a while. Your only longing is to make them happy and be with them! They are a refuge that must be held onto unless he does genuinely try to hurt you, and trust me, you can tell when he actually would, I've seen the difference in my mother's boyfriends. If he does make that obvious, then leave no matter how much it hurts...but otherwise I'm sure you guys will make a great and loving couple. Best of wishes.

Are you stupid or what? You can't possibly love this donkey. You have not a clue what love is if you think this is love. You need help as bad as he does. Maybe even more, because I guarantee you he would not put up with what you have. Kick this sick person to the curb. Get a life. And not with him.

It may be the hardest thing to do in your life but you should leave, thats what you should do, but you need to come to realize it on your own otherwise you never will. Im in a similar situation not as harsh with the sucide atempts but trust me getting away would be the best try and have him admitted into a hospital thats where he should be sounds like it anyway and there he can get help and maybe eventually will make things easier for you to deal with, with or without him.

goodluck hang in there

My mother took years just to leave my dad. My father is bipolar & not to mention he saw his dad nearly kill his mom. My mom like lived in the hospital. She had many broken bones due to my dad. My mom only stayed because she thought its not his fault for what happened during his life but she had to leave because he would go crazy when I was little & cried so she left him. 3 years ago I went on a website called clerk of courts & read the report & got his number I called him & he was out of wack I could barely understand what he was saying but I just couldn't stop crying because of the picture I had in my mind of the horid things he did to my mom, the reason Im saying this is because I wouldn't want your children to go threw what I did & also because you don't deserve this so tell him that to either take medication & stop the abuse or your leaving

You know, your life and your boyfriend's life almost sounds like mine. I was abused by my father in my early life, this summer I picked a fight with my dad to tell him once and for all to get the hell out of my life (which resulted in several car crash sized black bruises for my dad and almost resulted in me getting kicked in the groin). My dad is angry, depressed, and maybe a little bipolar and as a young boy I never found someone to learn how to be a man from. All I could think of when I saw girls was abuse and rape them to make myself feel manlier (my thoughts might seem strange, but they're honest), all I could think of when meeting other boys was beating them into a pulp to prove myself. My parents didn't get along either, my mom always tried to make my dad into one of those "dream guys" that was strong, tall, socially outgoing, independent, had leadership skills, was rich, etc. When my dad couldn't do that, my mom just played into his insecurities and my insecurities. All I did the first 16 years of my life was blame other people, take my anger out, ask God why life wasn't fair, ask God why life was beyond my control, live in a fantasy world, etc. Then all of a sudden, I realized that I had wasted my first 16 years of life since I was "reacting to the past" and not looking toward the future and "making life for myself". Anyways, just because you had a lot of things to go through in life, doesn't mean you have a right to keep reacting to the past, you need to start looking towards the future and making life for yourself. It took me a long time to figure this out, maybe you already have, I don't no.

If your boyfriend keeps crying wolf with his actions, is physically abusing you, and makes no real efforts to start over and make life your himself, leave him. Don't let him drag you down. I don't think that just because your life sucks or used to suck is a reason for you to "react to the past", you need to learn how to make life for yourself and look towards the future.