Physical Health Risks of Termination

All i'm saying is that if a woman came to me and was trying to decide between abortion or adoption, as a prolifer, I would encourage her to put the baby up for adoption if she felt that she wasn't in the right circumstances to raise it.

Hi - I read the posts and there are strong points of view - let me tell you I had an abortion 6 years ago, I really didnt have a choice, I often wonder what would have happened if I hadnt had it done. It was the most difficult choice I had to make, im an indian woman, pregnancy before marraige was a no go. The boyfriend, well of course he would support my choice - but added 'we cant go to our families....Blah, blah blah' he was right and the laughable thing was I did not have a choice. My experience was harrowing at best. I was confused and too ashamed to share my pregnancy details with anyone incase it got to my parents. I did 3 checks each time knowing the result, I went to a clinic for advise and she worked out my dates and then proceeded in telling me the development stage of the embryo, stuff which threw me. Every night and day whilst pregnant I suffered extreme pain, so who knows I may have lost the child. Anyway my then boyfriend bought the best money could buy, I had the consultations and the date was booked.

Well it was supposed to be at 830 in the morning, but they lost my blood sample so I had to wait. Even more worse was the consultation on the day, I was shufled to a room where the doc just did the old scan thingy, no real communication, he had the screen towards me so of course all that stayed in my head was 8 weeks 5 days and the blob that was my baby. I was in shock, then it dawned on me what am I doin?
I was then shuffled into a room where a admin person asked for the balance, and whether they could use the embryo for research, I barely mustered energy to say anything I was still in shock. I was then taken into a room with 3 beds. By now it was 9am and the other women in the room had already had the 10 procedure done. I shut myself in my area, drew the curtain round me. As I lay there the director of the hospital was showing visitors around discussing the colour schemes etc whilst I lay there trying to think of the options I had. I had no option, but all I could see was that blob, my baby. I tried to convince myself that I could runaway my parents would never find me. By now it was 1230 so much for the 830 procedure. I battled in my mind, all those hours all my make believe options - I got off my bed and walked towards the cupboard with my clothes, I convinced my self that I was going to see this through, I was not gonna be judge and jury on my baby's life. As chance would have it the nurse came to take me, it was now my turn. All of a sudden I was the frightened girl I walked to the room, lay on the bed and looked towards the clock. Most the nurses were as chance would have it, indian. The thought I had been aneasthatised so began to discuss the origins of my name and who I could be related to. Next thing you know I lay back in a room with a nurse telling me they needed the bed so I was to leave, it was only 330pm 2.5 hours after a general aneas. I was to leave. But this was when I knew it was too late, I sat in the bathroom and just cried, cried at being weak, crying at killing my baby. It will actually be 7 years on feb 12, I have no kids, the boyfriend ended things shortly after, he has a kid, and always likes to share the joys of being a father, me has no kids, and have been told the chance is remote. It was the hardest time of my life, the biggest decision I had to make, I still feel the pain of that day, I pity any woman with no choice, because many dont have one, regardless of the stigma attatched. Me is laying some ghosts to rest, I get married in 6 weeks and I needed to put this behind me.

We always have a choice. You cannot worry about what others think, feel or say about what we are or what we do, it is your body, your choice and your right. It is not a baby until birth(after it is born). I am not judging you, you did what you felt was right @ the time, things happen for a reason, which we do not always understand the reason. Pregnancy before marriage is generally never good whether you are indian, black, white, purple or whatever but it happens, it is apart of some peoples lives.
There is always a 50% chance of most females becoming pregnant or anything happening, like you said, you might have lost that one by miscarriage, who knows.
It seems to me that you have problems with the abortion but these problems could have been prior to the abortion and the procedure surfaced these problems, have you thought about seeking counseling. A good thing that they have now is emdr, it takes you back to a bad past and allows you to release this situation and it is a great release. Please do not get me wrong, I am not judging you or telling you what to do, or telling you that you are crazy, I am just trying to help you get over this hurdle.
Sincerely,
sandy

A1mmee I read your post and I can understand the position you were put in.I do understand that some women do not have a choice due to family and faith and cultural background,are your family devout muslims?.




Sandyallen it is obvious from your reply that you really do not know how the muslim faith works,have you heard of honour killings.These usually happen to females of the muslim faith who *disgrace* the family,and whilst getting pregnant before marriage is frowned upon in most cultures,it is a virtual death penalty for a muslim woman.So I think that in this case she did not have a choice.

[quote="gero"]kourtney, does that "thing" or baby whatever you choose to call it have a voice to stop the mother from aborting it? No!No more than ahydatidiform mole or your fingernail does, no.
as guilty as cutting my hair.
it is using the woman's body against her use. That makes it an invader, a thief, a squatter. That is not innocent.
i think it is inhumane that you so much reject the right of the woman to not be enslaved, that you allow nonsentient tissue to have more rights than she does.
it is life of human origin, just like your hair or a tumor in your colon. It is not an individual being, however.
no, it doesn't.
guilt, what guilt? Did you feel guilty over having a haircut? Why not? You killed living human cells. Shame on you, how could you.
nah. No justification is needed, other than "i don't want to be pregnant." all the antichoice yammering and rhetorics about the embryo or fetus is completely irrelevant.

[quote="steen"]steen, you inferiorate me. How can you say that the "fetus" is "invading" the woman's body when she had a hand in creating it? She chose to have sex, whether it was protected sex or not, (but most often unprotected I bet), which in turn can result in a pregnancy. The fetus doesn't create itself. Give me a break! And to compare terminating the fetus' life to getting a haircut is absurd! Again, I don't care what you say, it is wrong to for a woman to terminate a fetus' life. It's no wonder our world has gone to hell with people like you who have such disregard for human life and treat a fetus like it is merely an unwanted piece of trash.

Well said kourtney I completley agree people should n.O.T be getting personal about the opinions of others.

What is the deal with the whole "sex is consent to pregnancy" bs? I don't know about you but the fact that i'm on birth control should give you an idea that my womb is not up for rent. I dont' get the shot every 3 months because I like injections.. I do it becuase I obviously don't want to be pregnant.. The only time sex is consent to pregnancy is ttc sex.

I think men that try and force woman to go through with abortions are controlling, and abusive. Period.


I meant to say I think men who try and force a woman to go through a pregnancy she doesn't want are abusive, and controlling.