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Baby

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Posts: 60
Location: Ar
Thanks: 1
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Need Help
Posted: 10-29-03 14:55pm

Ok I have a problem and I know people are going to say it is my own fault for getting involved. I have a boyfriend. I have had him for 3 years. Just this summer his cousin started trying to mess around with me. Well me and my bf had a big fight.. He left for a few days. His cousin came over and kind of took advantiage of the situation. Well now me and him are back together and my boyfriend knows about what happened. Well me and his cousin are still messing around and he is trying to save his money to get me and engagement ring. But I just don't know what to do.
Please help. I love them both. My boyfriend is kind of abusive and that is why I have been going to his cousin. But his cousin is going through a divorce right now.
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Suzy

Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2003
Posts: 530

Posted: 11-08-03 07:59am

Hi baby,

goodness, it sounds as though you are in between a rock and a hard place. I would strongly advise anyone who is in an abusive relationship to get out immediately. Never ever accept abuse from anyone, especially not your partner, they are the one and only person in the world who are supposed to respect and love you, not beat you up and abuse you. That is not love, that is domination. I don't have a clue what your boyfriends cousins situation is with his divorce, whether he is still living with his wife or separated. If he is still living with her, then I would suggest taking things very slowly, as he may be on the rebound and still have unresolved feelings for her, especially if their are children involved. Anyway, good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

Suzy
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Baby

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Posts: 60
Location: Ar
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 11-11-03 01:52am

I left my boyfriend this weekend and told him that I wasn't putting up with the abuse any more. As for the cousin, him and his wife were only married for a year and they have been seperated for four months. She left town and after the divorce is final she is leaving state. He really is a sweetheart. He takes good care of his little girl too. She is the sweetest thing. His wife was kind of mean and has been cheating on him off and own since right after the baby was born. So he made up his mind. They never really got along after they got married. Thanks for the help!!
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qt3

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 264

Posted: 11-14-03 20:50pm

Baby,

good for you for getting out of that abusive situation!
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phil dennison

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 71
Location: illinois

Posted: 11-14-03 21:56pm

Know good man would take from another man. Leave them both and realize another man you pick will be the same until you change you. Good luck. True love is not this nutty.
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philb

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2003
Posts: 1
Location: Bali Indonesia
Go Solo For a While
Posted: 11-15-03 03:34am

People say it takes "two to tango". In your case, it seems like it takes three.
It also sounds like you're very young. Your bf's cousin maybe wouldn't have started hitting on you unless he thought you wanted him to.

The 'advantage' he's taking of you is of your youth and inexperience. From the picture you've painted, it sounds like they're both jerks and you're a bit of a bozzo, too.

Get away from both of them and give yourself a chance to grow up under your own terms. An engagement ring is no guarantee of anything, apart from (perhaps) a life of misery.

You're young enough to learn from your 'mistakes'. Sex, drugs and house music (whatever) are only ok in the short-term. Good luck.
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Baby

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Posts: 60
Location: Ar
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 11-18-03 11:37am

Well I got rid of the cousin too. I am not dating anyone really but this guy ask my out and we are going to a movie on friday. Nothing serious just fun. Most people think I act older than I am. Just because of the things I have overcome in my past. I know this was wrong but I have it figured out now thanks to all of you. I will keep in touch.
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Baby

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Posts: 60
Location: Ar
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
I'm Back
Posted: 07-06-04 13:43pm

Well I got back with my bf for a while. In jan. He tried to kill me. I was in icu for three days. They could never find proof that he was trying to kill me so he isn't in jail. His cousin that I had got ride of saved my life. He help take care of me and get me back on my feet. Him and his wife are divorced and we are dating now. He still has to protect me from his cousin but we are doing good and he bought me a car. By ex bf totaled my other one.
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latoya23

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2008
Posts: 1
childhood and personal problem that i need help with
Posted: 10-15-08 15:58pm

Hi my name is latoya phillips i had been with my ex boyfriend for three years but he broke up with me because i have personal childhood issues where im insecure about my self and cant trust no one.that i love. As a child i been touched by my mother boyfriend since i was nine. i told my mom what he was doing but she didnt believe me so as a person today all my problems i keep to my self and its messing up my life. I really want to get my self and life together and be a better person and get the man i love back before its too late. what should i do i need help? Embarassed
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