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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Ok... What Do I Do???? Need Advice...
Posted: 01-23-05 23:33pm
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I know the answer to my question already
is to talk about this... But my real
question is how to bring this up...
Me and my bf have been together for a
while now and he is buying me a ring for
valentines day and everything... We have
unprotected sex and I am not on birth
control...
I have been thinking so much recently and
I want a baby... We are moving into a
new house and everything and I just think
that I am really ready... But I dont
know how to tell my bf...
The thing is... He always always always
always is talking having a baby... But
always in a joking way... But then like
one time we talked kinda serious about it
and he said "if you get pregnant, I will
be excited, but I just think we should
wait" and bla bla bla... And he always
jokes with his friends and says "im gonna
be a dad and bla bla bla" and just joke
around about it... But someone once said
that "there is always a little truth to
every joke" and I kind of believe
that...
Like if me and him or him and any of his
friends get on the subject of kids, he is
like "yea I tell her that if she gets
pregnant that her and the baby will be my
first priority" and hes like "having a
child wouldnt be bad and it would be great
and I know it would change my life and
everything"
and he always wants to go inside me and
stuff but we always back out at the last
second thinking its not a good idea to
make a decision like that in the heat of
the moment....
I just think that if I actually sat down
serious with him (which he doesn't like
anyways) and talk about having a baby,
that he might freak out... But I am
really ready to have one I believe at this
point in my life... I helped raise my
nephew and I love kids... Most of our
friends have children and I know that I
could handle it...
What should I do and how should I do it...
Advice please... Sorry so long :(
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Re: Hi....
Posted: 01-23-05 23:42pm
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| jlee77
wrote: | well sounds to me like your
lucky cause from what you posted, he
sounds ready to me!! Why do you think he
would freak out? Everything you said he
says sounds positive towards wanting a
baby. He even shares it with his friend
and that makes him "macho"> lol. (you
know how guys are!)
i say let it out...Talk with him.
Obviously your relationship is serious!
And congrats on the upcoming engagement,
that is great. It looks like your taking
all the right steps, your getting a house
and everything. Seems you could make a
good future for this baby and in having a
family.
Good luck and enjoy everything happening!
Talk to him! He loves you!
:o) |
well the only reason that I say that it
might freak him out is because he doenst
like to sit down and have serious heart to
heart talks... Thats just his
personality... In fact, usually his way
of talking about things is joking
around... (which he does about kids
alot)..
I know he loves me... I love him as
well... But its like, one time we talked
about his "going" inside me and we were
both like ok lets do it... When it came
time, he was like "i cant because you
might get pregnant" but after the fact he
was the same way about talking about
children...
I just am afraid that I might get my hopes
up and get excited and I just dont want to
scare him...
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-24-05 00:26am
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| jlee77
wrote: | sounds to me like he is just
nervous. And nervous he should be! A
child is a major step (as we all know).
The thought of a baby seems to sound
desirable to him but at the same time
seems to scare him. That is probably the
reason for the last minute "pullout".
I used to date a "jokester". Maybe you
could approach a conversation in a
humerous way. Like buy a pair of booties
and go from there....Be creative, lighten
the mood cause of course it will be an
intense conversation. But what is the
worse that can happen? From the sounds
of it, he is a good, supportive guy and he
could "shy" away from the subject.
But....It will get him thinking about it,
and trust me...He will.
:o) |
a few months ago I thought I was pregnant
because I had alot of symptoms and I think
I had convinced myself that I was... But
I told him I thought I was and he wasn't
freaked or anything... He just kept
asking me to go get a test because he
wanted to know...
Then once I wasn't, I asked him if he
wanted to wear a condom and he said no...
If he would have been totally freaked
about the fact I may have been pregnant,
he would have worn a condom after that..
So that I wouldn't get pregnant...
So I just dont know...
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-24-05 09:32am
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Any other advice? Im thinking about doing
it tonight depending on how his day at
work goes today...
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004
Posts: 3717
Location: , va
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Posted: 01-24-05 09:37am
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Buy a card and write your feelings in it,
and let him read it.. Or buy a baby
bottle and give it to him... Or dont tell
him just wait until your preggo then tell
him. Good luck with whatever you decide
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-24-05 10:10am
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| tazzy d
wrote: | | buy a card and write your
feelings in it, and let him read it.. Or
buy a baby bottle and give it to him...
Or dont tell him just wait until your
preggo then tell him. Good luck with
whatever you
decide |
yea I want to wait until I am pregnant,
but we have unprotected sex but he still
pulls out... I have been pregnant this
way before when I was young :( I
miscarried... But my then bf (4 years
ago) also pulled out and I still became
pregnant...
I guess this "method" we are using now, is
just pregnancy waiting to happen sooner or
later, but how long is the question...
You know??
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
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Posts: 6492
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Posted: 01-24-05 10:20am
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It's diff for everyone. One of my
girlfriend's has been using this "method"
for 10 years and has not even had a preg
scare (but then again she might be
infertile)
if this is what you want --good luck!!
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-24-05 12:03pm
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| jlee77
wrote: | | the pull out method reacts
differently for all woman cause all woman
are different as far as fertility is
concerned....And then there is the
question of how fertile is the man as
well? Get what i'm saying? But at
least you know it's definetely not the
best form of b.C!! :wink:
|
well... When I had a miscarriage before
and my current bf who I was with 2.5 years
total... Not being too detailed but when
we had sex, everytime he would pull out in
plenty of time and finish himself off if
you know what I mean... My current bf
(soon to be more... Yay) and i, when we
have sex he just pulls right in the nick
of time... So if I conceived from the
last bf with the way we were then I think
im more likely to conceive this way as
well...
I just think that I am in the point in my
life right now where I am ready... I have
all my responsibilities lined up, a new
home and a great relationship...
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lil_blaze2004
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Posted: 01-24-05 12:28pm
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Sounds like you're ready. How old are
you if I may ask??? If you are ready
then maybe you guys won't even have to do
the pulling out anymore.
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-24-05 12:35pm
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| lil_blaze2004
wrote: | | sounds like you're ready.
How old are you if I may ask??? If you
are ready then maybe you guys won't even
have to do the pulling out
anymore. |
i am 21 and he is 22. I helped my sister
raise my nephew when I was 16. Its my
nature to take care of people. Everyone
in my family and everyone of my friends
tells me that they think of me as a mother
figure.
I would like to not use the pull out
method anymore, but im still nervous about
telling my bf... :shock:
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
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Posted: 01-24-05 12:38pm
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| bailysbutterfly
wrote: | | lil_blaze2004
wrote: | | sounds like you're ready.
How old are you if I may ask??? If
you are ready then maybe you guys won't
even have to do the pulling out
anymore. |
i am 21 and he is 22. I helped my
sister raise my nephew when I was 16.
Its my nature to take care of people.
Everyone in my family and everyone of my
friends tells me that they think of me as
a mother figure.
I would like to not use the pull out
method anymore, but im still nervous about
telling my bf...
:shock: |
maybe the best bet would be to sit with
him and talk it all over. Good
luckers!!!!!
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-24-05 13:01pm
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| lil_blaze2004
wrote: |
maybe the best bet would be to sit with
him and talk it all over. Good
luckers!!!!! |
oh for sure... I know that talking is
important... Hes not much of a talker
though which makes me more nervous...
:roll:
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004
Posts: 3717
Location: , va
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Posted: 01-24-05 13:07pm
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Okay well since hes not a talker.......
Just simply say hun I want to have a baby
can we ......................
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lil_blaze2004
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Posted: 01-24-05 13:12pm
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| bailysbutterfly
wrote: | | lil_blaze2004
wrote: |
maybe the best bet would be to sit with
him and talk it all over. Good
luckers!!!!! |
oh for sure... I know that talking is
important... Hes not much of a talker
though which makes me more nervous...
:roll: |
then tell him to listen..Lol and you do
all the talking!
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-24-05 15:51pm
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I will see how his day goes today and we
will see what happens...
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nmmama2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 164
Location: New Mexico
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Posted: 01-24-05 16:07pm
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Good luck!!! Sorry all the other ladies
said everything.
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jessamyn
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Posted: 01-24-05 16:30pm
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Just slip it in... Just sit down at a
random time and be like okay so stress or
pressure just want to know your opinion on
babies and us and family... Just let it
all out even if it scares him atleast your
being open and honest... Thats what I do
when I talk to paul just out of noooo
where bring it up! Ya know?
Good luck!
Oh how old r u (so just curious)
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-24-05 16:50pm
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| jessamyn
wrote: | just slip it in... Just
sit down at a random time and be like okay
so stress or pressure just want to know
your opinion on babies and us and
family... Just let it all out even if it
scares him atleast your being open and
honest... Thats what I do when I talk to
paul just out of noooo where bring it up!
Ya know?
Good luck!
Oh how old r u (so just
curious) |
i am 21 and he is 22....
He actually brings it up more that I do...
Seriously... He brings it up alot!
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bailysbutterfly
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 162
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Posted: 01-25-05 14:36pm
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Well I mentioned it and just talked about
it in general, but didn't say I wanted to,
and he said "well in a couple of months
when I get a raise, I can afford a
child...
:(
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
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Posted: 01-25-05 14:55pm
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| bailysbutterfly
wrote: | well I mentioned it and just
talked about it in general, but didn't say
I wanted to, and he said "well in a couple
of months when I get a raise, I can afford
a child...
:( |
well at least he said that. My boyfriend
has decide to go back to school next month
(which ya it's great for the future) but
hello i'm going on maternity leave in 3-4
months and only gonna be getting 55% of my
salry which will be like $500-550 every 2
weeks. I can't do that.... I'm getting
real worried.
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