Cheating (Page 1)

Hi
he is the loser. Don't think too much about him. I know it hurts but believe me with the time u will cope with it. It is good that it happened now before married and having babies. You can not trust a man like that.
Give your self a break. Don't involve in new love relation before u heeled from the first one that might affect your new one. Life is full of good people. You will find a new love who will share love and life with u. Just know whom to chose. This time u will be right in your choice, because u got the lesson from the first relation.

Give your self enough time to decide properly.
My heart is with you

My husband of 14 years left me and 2 kids for another woman. We are currently going thru a divorce. This happened nearly 3 months ago. I never seen it coming. I was devastated! I felt as if I couldn't go on without him. I still have days like that. It is hard, but not quite as hard as it was in the beginning. I loved him so much, and still do. But, I realize that I have to be strong. Being strong to me is living one day at a time. Realizing that worse things could happen in life . Everything happens for a reason.....You dont know the reason right now.......But in time you will. Just get up every day and live your life. Make yourself do things. I had to make myself get outta bed. My children of course keep me going. But even without children, you must realize that it is not the end of the world. You do not deserve a cheater. It does get harder before it gets better. But, I promise you it will get better and you will get thru this.I pray to god every day for strength. I know you must feel hurt, sad, angry, and most of all, alone. But you are not alone. Good luck.

Hello. I hope you are doing better. I think it's good that you didn't marry this guy and then find out he didn't want to be married to you. I know because my husband married me and left after two months of marriage. He decided he wanted to go back to his ex-wife. We have a child together and he had children with his ex. It's the worst kind of pain to have your husband leave you and know that his ex told him to divorce you and he's weak-minded enough to leave. He's been gone 9 months now and he's called once after he was gone three weeks, saying to be "gentle with me." :roll:

what's helped me is going to church, which I was doing before, but I made sure I didn't stop. Keeping busy helps, just living life and as time goes on the pain doesn't hurt as much. No one can tell you to get over him. It's not that easy. That is a process that you do on your own in your own timing. Best wishes....

Your boyfriend is a major loser and in the end you will be come out the better person. Just remember this what comes around goes around and he will get his payback.

I am sorry for what you are going through. Last month, my fiance and I broke up for the same thing. He left me after 2 yrs for another woman. He didn't tell me, I found out on my own. We were engaged for 1 yr and lived with each other almost a month after we started dating. I feel for him instantly. I still love him and always will. About a week after he left, I found out she was pregnant. Yet another thing that he didn't tell me, she did! It was awful. We were looking into getting a house and I was going to get off the pill this month so that we could start trying. My heart is still broke. I never felt pain like this. I know what you are going through, especially with everyone always telling you that he is a looser and that all you need it "time". I hate that word!!! But, that is what is needed. About 2 weeks ago, he called me and wanted to get back together. He came over to my apartment, we talked, made up, did all of that stuff you do when you make up. He spent the night, left the next morning, telling me that he loved me and would call me later....And never did. I have no way of getting a hold of him, cause the girl he was seeing lives in ohio and I am in pittsburgh, pa. Our cell phones are turned off because he didn't pay the bill. No one can believe that I even let him back into my heart after what he did, but I wanted to give him one more chance, and look what he does. I know now that I could never have trusted him. I would of kept wondering where he was all the time, who is with, is he really working when he says he is. There would of been too much doubt. When the trust is gone, you have nothing but love. I hope that you are ok. If you need anything, or just want to chat, e-mail me and I will give you my im info. Hope that you are ok. I know the pain hurts!! I am still hurting. But, I am here if you need a friend! Take care!

This last message feels so similar. I share the same pain and bad feelings.

My partner & I have two little girls. She's played away from home before and last november we split.
No matter how hard I tried, not one single day passed without thoughts of her going through my mind.
The anger had stopped and I seemed to be picking up the pieces and rebuilding my life.
Even so I still had this emptiness. Two months ago it was fathers days and my little girls were with me.
They had been bought a bottle of wine to give to me for fathers days. Like a fool, while thanking my ex for her present I invited her round to share it with me.
This was on the proviso that she would be serious, no more games or playing around and that I would end it again if she did. She agreed and seemed so sincere.
In the last two months things seemed ok.. We all seemed like a family again, she wrote little love notes, hugged me when I came home from work, told me over and over how much she loved me and of course, my feeling of love for her were soon as strong as ever.
We would go shopping and I would by her clothes, gifts and presents. I tried very hard to be caring and understanding.
She told me how nice it was that I was being this way. Three weeks ago I had to work long hours. She popped round her parents, asking if i'd mind if she stayed over a couple of nights.
When we next met she said she was not sure if this was what she wanted.
It was just like a re-enactment of a horrible play.
I had an email the following day. She wrote:-

****************************************** ***************************************

what I was trying to tell you was that all these years I have wanted so much to be with you, which has been misinterpreted as me wanting your assets instead of you. Over time the little chips have been cutting away and now I don't know if I can get the feelings back to the intensity they once were, repair the damage. My backoff seems to make you closer towards me and I think about the impact of that for the future.

I didn't want to end things but to take the opportunity to tell you, honestly, how I was feeling. A relationship doesn't just fix itself overnight, although it seems that it somehow has for you, because you sense

that i'm not after commitment from you and that for once you feel able to let down your barriers with me.

The last thing I wanted to do was hurt the kids either, i'm worried about that very much.

I just wanted you to understand my feelings. Your reaction confirms that I cannot speak honestly as its not what you want to hear, its 100% or nothing.
There is no middle ground with you and middle ground is what a relationship like ours needs right now.

You're now going to put up a brickwall and shut the door to me completely as you are feeling hurt and upset and that upsets me greatly. I understand that you don't want to waste time with me if i'm not going to be a long term investment.

I didn't want a situation of you taking me on holiday, paying for it and then throwing it in my face if and when it falls apart.

****************************************** ***************************************
true to my word I broke it off. Since then our little 9year old daughter has called me ever day. Last week my daughters stayed with me. That was when the eldest told me how she watched her mummy and grandma put a profile on datingdriect and how my x posed while grandma took the picture and that mummy had now met a man called peter.
She went on to tell me how she was too scarred to tell me before in case it broke the family up again.
She cried and cried telling me she didn't want him to be her daddy and why can't we be a real family like all of her friends.
I tried and tried to be a good dad, but it's not easy after going back and trusting her again and again. I've lost count how many "peter's" there have been in the past 10years and how many times, when these relationship fail, I take her back.

Over the years I have grown much, much stronger and cuss myself for repeatedly inflicting this pain on myself. But i'm back here again.
I have a good job, nice home and just emptiness. Reading, once again, all about how to get over pain, distress, depression and relationship break-up.

The thought of her being with this other man warring the clothes i'd bought made me feel physically sick.
I have spoken to her over the telephone and put a very convincing face on everything, pretending I don't care.

She told me this guy is her "future".

She will never know the pain she causes every time she does this. Or the damage and distress "we" inflict on out two little girls with this endless make and break-up routine.
But it's my fault for allowing her too.. I even asked for the clothes back. Guess I will have a little pleasure selling them on ebay.
I much rather show her a picture of a drop dead gorgeous woman warring them. But that's just my pain.

A long reply.. But it helps just to share.

I myself had a very.... Stressful situation most recently. I feel now that the last 4 years of my life have been an utter waste. I am a 19 year old male. For 3 years of my life I dated this girl. After the first year we broke up because she cheated on me. After she broke up with me she started dating a coke abusing, ex convict who would be soon going back to jail. After a few months she came crawling back to me and I accepted her... A long time went by and the thoughts of everything that had happened weighed heavily on my mind. About 2 months ago I got an apartment with this girl. She also being 19 had a very controlled life by her parents. Suddenly she was just dissapearing for days at a time. After not seeing her for 2 weeks I finally come home and shes having sex with this first ex-con in my bed. I snapped. The next day I came home and she was having sex with an entirely different guy and now her plan was to muscle me out of the place I had been living and payed my half of. This guy brought over his dog and some other people and I was outside and called the cops. Needless to say the cops arrived but when they talked to her she told the cops that I had been cutting myself (which I did do because I was so depressed I wanted to die and I slit my wrist a few stitches later i'm still alive and breathing) the cops then proceeded to handcuff me for the first time in my life and take me to the local large hospital where I was placed in a holding room then moved to the temporary psyche unit. I spent 14 hours (from 1 in the morning till 1 in the afternoon the next day) in that place because of her.... Now I had to move back in with my parents and I miss who she used to be and all the good times we had... She said she did it because she was unhappy with me because I wasn't man enough because even though I did everything for her I was never man enough....... I hate the standards of my life... Anyway I may write more later because I go to go... Heh peace.

Even when you're on another thread, talking to someone else, about something i've made no comment on, you still can't help but talk about me. Which means you must be thinking about me.

Face it woman, i'm in your head.

I was just telling her how big of an expert you are on relationships and love.You saw that I commented on this thread and you just couldn't resist huh?

Resist telling you that i'm in your head?

Nope.

He is a loser but unless you have been in that sitiuation most people dont understand, things will get easier right now you probally feel hopeless though and that is normal.

With life comes good and bad, unfortunatly when you become a part of someone and put so much into them/vice versa its hard to forget but a great learning expierence for you. Just take this into consideration karma is a !**@! and things usually come back threefold!!!

All I can say is your ex will never be happy my reasoning is he never tried to keep the relationship together, therefore resulting in the same bs in every relationship not to long down the road he will find somone else. Him unlike you will never expierence complete happiness with one person instead he will hide happiness by sleeping with multiple woman saying that is happiness, when in return waking up by the same person is.

A relationship that goes through the good and worst is usually the one to survive, I have gone through so many fight and yet I am still with the same man that I have been with for almost 5 year. You will find someone regardless of what people say but remeber you are better than your ex you already put one foot forward by posting this message!!

Hugz your way darls, keep your head on straight and you will make it!!

I have been in a same situation, my husband left me for another woman. After a while he returned back and wanted to continue relationship. I was at first happy that he returned, but then memories of his betrayal started to return unexpectedly. I felt anger towards him and did not know what to do about my feelings. Then I found one site where they are discussing how to deal with anger, frustration and insecurity in a relationship or after breakup. I found that site to be very helpful, I have always been a bit insecure in my relationship (even before cheating took place) and was glad to learn new ways of controlling my feelings if I get "insecurity attack".

Good luck!!

Sad to hear that from you but still life should go on without him.Be strong and move on forget him he is a BIG LOSER.

Umm.... He is a loser and if he could do that to you trust me you dont want him anyway.

He is a loser, you seem like a very nice girl, I know it's hard, but what you must do is this :

- burn every memory of him.
- delete him from your mobile
- DON'T TALK TO HIM (very important) stay away from him
- Do exercises, running jogging, etc...this will help relive the stress
- listen to Rock songs....but not any romantic sad songs...you need to listen to songs that get your adrenaline going...
- cry from time to time...it will help.
- You're not a loser like him are you? - no, you are not, because you wouldn't be like him...so therefore...your dream man is still out there, believe me...
- and finally, when you're over him, give me a call. (I'm kidding, it was a joke...to regain some happiness)
- AND most importantly...talk to friends about it and family but not all the time or will be just annoying.

hope this will help...

ByE!

Before I continued with my divorce this January I have obtained a prove from a private detective. They brought me more than I even expected. This things hurt me a lot... My lawyer said it saves me a lot! I found detective it is re-auction I guess, so you pick investigator from the lowest price they offered. I just published my request there like "I need prove with photos..." and within a couple of days I have received several bids from investigators! Within a 3 days they finished it up and released me all docs. I really wish you do not face anything like I did, but life is life - we cheat, we got cheated.

good advice pizzadude

i was in a relationship for 5 years, and during that time he proposed, then changed his mind, want to go out to clubs, all his friends were single, he was confused about if he wanted to be with me. i love him so i stayed with him. 2 1/2 years into the relatioship he said he's confused and he wants to leave me. we stayed together and 2 years later he was confused again. he told me he's going to treat me bad until i leave (have child not working at the time)and he told me to sleep in my son's room so he can bring women in the house. i packed my bags and left the state while he was at work. he cried for me back....for what to be confused again!!!!!
it has been two years since i separated from him and he told me he wasnt ready to commit to me when i left (when he begged for me back) meaning if i stayed he woould've waisted 4 1/2 years +how every long i stayed.
it's not good to be with someone whose confused. ive been through hell and back. if i ever met someone who is confused, i wouldnt even let them finish their sentence before i m out the door.

be strong...