Hey ladies...I have just been so
overwhelmed with my feelings and thoughts
since I found out I am pregnant. It is
all I think about and it is starting to
make me feel really really bad
(emotionally and physically) i've never
felt this down before. I never ever
thought I would feel like this. I haven't
told my parents yet and that is definetly
playing a huge part in why I am feeling
this way. Only 3 people know...The baby's
father, my ex (who is like my best friend)
and one of my other good male friends. I
don't really want to tell anyone else
until my parents know because I don't want
them finding out some other way. I talked
to my parents on the phone today and my
dad kept asking me what was wrong...I told
him nothing but he said he knows that
something is wrong because I haven't been
acting myself lately. I almost started
crying on the phone so I kept avoiding his
questions and told him everything was
fine. He asked me if I was ok and I was
just like, yeah. When we got off the
phone I could not stop crying, but it felt
good to get some of that out because that
was the first good cry I have been able to
have since letting all of this stress
build up inside.
The father of the baby keeps asking me
what is wrong as well. He says he
understands that I have alot going on in
my mind b/c I am young and in school and
everything else, but I don't think he
really understands b/c he is 28 and i'm
19, plus this is his 3rd child.
This is not what I want at all right now
and feel so wrong for feeling like this
b/c its not anybody elses fault...Nobody
made me have sex. The father of the baby
keeps telling me that I need to get happy
b/c I am going to be a mommy soon and I
just can't keep going on the way i've been
acting, which I know is true, but it's
just really hard.
I have no money to raise a child, I can't
even take care of myself!!! I do not want
to have to depend on anyone else or the
government b/c of some mistake I
made...And I definitely don't want my
parents to feel like this is going to be a
huge burden of them...I want to be
responsible and take care of everything
myself...
Thanks for listening.
|
pinkbaby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 618 Location: Arizona
Posted: 01-14-05 21:29pm
I was about to go and eat, then I seen
your post, and I had to reply. I could
imagine what you feel like...I dont think
you will feel like this forever. Its just
all knew, and you dont know what to think
or expect. I have some questions for you
though, how come you dont want to tell
your parents? Are you scared of what
theyll say/do? Do you live with your
boyfriend? How long have you been
together? If your 19, I dont think your
that young...Well your young, but your an
adult. I dont think theres such thing as
a 'right time' to get pregnant, even if it
is planned. Even 25 year olds get
stressed out over things like pregnancy,
everyone gets scared/worried. Im 18, and
im handling my pregnancy great. Im gunna
use ka as an example, shes 14, and now she
has a beautiful little girl, and when I
read her post, it makes me feel soo happy
that im pg, cause I can tell she has so
much love for her baby, and yes, she is
young, but she got through it. And you
can too. I dont work now, so I really
have no money for a baby, but somehow I
have everything I need. Luis takes care
of me, and hes going to take care of our
baby, untill im able to work again. I
dont like depending on someone else
either, I would rather pay for everything
myself because I feel bad. But that is
his baby too, and he should have just as
much responsibility as me. You dont have
to depend on getting money from the
government, unless you absolutely have to.
But there are things such as wic, that
will give every women with a child under 4
free milk, cheese, peanut butter, baby
formula, and cereal. You dont have to
feel bad for recieving that kind of help,
even I get that :) you can even get free
birthing classes if you want. You dont
have to get welfare, but alot of girls go
on access to cover their medical bills.
My mom got me all signed up for coverage,
because she said "they take money out of
my check for other womens babys, now its
my daughter" you wont be hurting someone
elses income by getting financial help for
your baby, the government is going to take
out of everyones check reguardless if its
for you or not, so you might as well if
you need it. I would rather sign up for
welfare, than my baby not have the things
she needs. I would go to any limits to
get her what she needs. I agree with your
boyfriend, I hope you start getting
happy...Cause your already pregnant.
Might as well enjoy it. Maybe when you
hear the little heartbeat for the first
time, youll have a change of heart. Youll
realize what a precious thing youve
created. Your baby is gunna depend on
you...Your gunna be the only mommy it ever
has...Sorry this was so long, I just had
alot to say.
|
YoungN
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 42
Posted: 01-15-05 00:12am
Pinkbaby:thank you so much for responding.
I don't want to tell my parents because I
love them more than anything and the last
thing I want to do is hurt and dissapoint
them. My situation is really complicated.
I can't really begin to explain it all.
I have posted bits and pieces of it in a
few different posts, but a quick summary
of why things are going to be so bad is
b/c:
my boyfriend is black, I am white (my
parents totally disagree with interracial
dating and especially bringing biracial
children into the world)
i am not married and have only been with
my boyfriend (in a very rocky
relationship) for about 6 months.
He is kind of alot older than me, and has
2 other kids by 2 different women so I
feel as he is going to be pretty much like
yeah so what your having a baby since he's
already been through this twice. He seems
like he is putting almost everything on me
when it comes to talking about the baby
and how i'm going to be the one doing this
and that for the baby.
I don't have any money and neither does
the father of the baby. The father of the
baby doesn't have his own place (he is
staying w/ some relatives) and well I have
an apartment but my parents pay for it
because I am away at college (which they
are definitely not going to be doing
anymore once they find out about me being
pg and i'm not expecting them to b/c that
is not fair to them). The father of the
baby is into things that I don't want to
be involved in especially now that I can't
only think about myself. He's the type of
guy that you think its fine for you to
date but not the kind of guy you would
want to have responsible for helping you
raise a child.
I am still under my parents insurance but
only because I am a full time college
student, and since I am due in september I
will probably not be taking classes for
fall semester therefore I will not be
covered under their insurance. Plus my
lease is up this summer and not going to
be able to afford staying where I live so
I don't have any clue as to where I will
live.
Another thing that makes this bad, is
because I have heard my parents talking
about having grandchildren and seem so
pleased yet nervous when my sis and her
husband talk about having kids and I know
it is b/c they know they are very
responsible, financially ready, have a
house, 3 nice vehicles, and pretty much
everything you can think of...And yet my
sis and her husband still tell my parents
they are not ready to have kids....So it
is going to be horrible news to them under
my circumstances when I tell them I am
pg...It will be their first grandchild and
not to mention biracial and everything
else....
Thats not really everything, but a good
idea of things....
|
pinkbaby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 618 Location: Arizona
Posted: 01-17-05 17:03pm
Well shiit...Now im like uuh, I dont
really know what to say. Everything from
my last post just goes out the window.
Well, I know you love your parents, and I
know they love you. So they will get over
the racial thing. The baby is gunna be
their grandbaby, and their blood, no
matter if it came out purple. Maybe when
your parents do find out, they will help
you, you just never know. And if they
dont, theres still other options. Well if
I were you, I would just put school on
hold, find a job, and save up as much as
possible. I know you could save up enough
to pay your bills in advance for a while,
and get some things you need for the baby.
You can always go back once you get back
on your feet. Even if it takes alot of
hard work, it will all pay off in the end.
Some things are better when you have to
work extra hard for them, cause it seems
like you appreciate it more. As far as
that babys daddy goes...You need to know,
you dont need him. You might think you
do, but you can always do it alone too.
My mom did it with 3 of us. My dad left
her with no phone, no food, no money, a
broken down car, and a eviction notice,
but my mom got herself a job, and got us a
place to live. Dont ever feel sorry for
yourself, or doubt yourself. I know that
if I had to, I could make it on my own,
because I know I have the determintation.
Only depend on you, and youll do fine,
then when someone else helps you
out...Which im pretty sure someone will,
it will just be a little relief. If you
really want this baby, you will find a
way, to get what you need, and get through
this.
|
hammerash7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Nov 2004 Posts: 33 Location: minnesota
Posted: 01-17-05 20:02pm
Hey, I havent been on here for awhile but
I read your post and your in the same boat
as me... Im 19 and 18 wks pregnant. I
have the same emotions and fears as you
do. I have no money and im not ready so
thats why I have decided to do the brave
thing and give me child up so that he/she
can have a chance a better life than I can
give it. And then then when im all grown
up, out of school, and have a stable life
for a child then I will have my own. I
know it can be a really hard decision but
its the most unselfish thing you can do
and you would be so proud of yourself....
Dont get me wrong im not telling you that
you have to do this but just consider it
and what you can do for your baby and a
family that cant have kids... Im here for
you if you want to chat more...Ashley
