I am 42 years old, my boyfriend is 45. He
is very successful. While we have only
been together just under 4 months, I feel
as though i've known him forever (and I
don't know if this is a good or bad
feeling). I have been divorced 10 years,
married 1x. He has been divorced 13
years, married 2x. I know many people
reading this will find this wrong, but we
moved in together almost immediately, it
was convenient for us both. I have got to
know him quickly! It didn't take long to
discover this man has noticeable mood
swings! He is never violent, he instead
becomes an ugly monster, saying awful
things as though he were 14-years old and
very angry at his mother (in this case,
me!).
Is this bipolar, I think it is, my friends
say it is: he used to drink, gave it up 5
years ago. He will now have embarrassing
occasions to curse in public (the f word).
As I have a lot of class, this is
mortifying to me. He has no control over
outbursts and often doesn't remember them.
He will tell me he loves me, and then
take it back. He will say "i hate you";
and repeatedly tells me to leave his home.
Keep this in mind, the man says that I am
the nicest person he has ever met, that I
am too good for him and that maybe he has
never been loved before, as I show him
love constantly! In fact, thru all the
outbursts, I have maintained spiritual
hope that he'd go for help and things
would improve. This is what has kept me
here, kept me going.
Things are getting so bad I am ready to
move 2 hours south from him.
Is this familiar?: here is an example of
similar scenarios in our relationship.
This past weekend he surprised me. (i
think it was done out of guilt, I caught
him doing something that hurt me). He
took us on a mini-vacation, and bought me
about $600 worth of clothing/perfume. We
had a wonderful time. We usually do when
we're away from home. Then, 24-hours
later, I hear "i am not in love with you,
I don't know what is missing". But, he
adds that i'm sexy, beautiful....
I am soooo confused!!! He is so confused.
He admits some problem, has given me his
health card to locate a doctor, but has
yet to go. The relationship is on/off all
the time. It is new, we should have
bliss.
How do I get this man to see his problem?
How do I get him to go for help? He
doubts my love, he is scared, afraid I
will leave so I think he pushes me away
now. I thought of showing him this board,
that maybe he could read the similar
stories. I wrote today to a local chapter
for support. Any suggestions on how to
get him to go?
I'm so tired, i'm at the end of my rope
and not sleeping now. This man has
verbally hurt me for the last time!
Please write me with advice:
yvette143@
msn.Com, thanks. Really, if you need
to hear more, i'd be happy to share the
awful things he says...I just want peace!
