What Is Wrong With Me...again???? Posted: 01-12-05 21:31pm
Hi everyone.
Thanks for taking the time to read this
and replying back... 2 years ago I
discovered the amazing idea of throwing
up... But I quit after starting to become
very dizzy at times specially mornings and
almost blacking out. And I promised my
self I would never ever do it again...
But here I am doing it again... It was
once a month, but now its every day. I
know its bad but somehow that doesn't seem
to stop me. I'm not fat i'm actually very
physcially fit, but I am so afriad that I
will gain weight again. I don't want to
be fatter than this... But I get hungry
and I eat..And then I throw it up. Before
I would tell my sister about it, but she
got so mad when she found out I did it
again after 2 years. But I lied to her
and I told her I only did it once but I
keep doing it. I can't wait to be alone
so I could throw up. I hate my self for
doing it, yet the fact that I might not
gain weight makes it all worth while... I
exercise atlest 3x a week, and I eat very
healthy... But I don't know whats wrong
with me. How can I stop that little voice
in my head that says " don't worry...Just
throw it up...And don't tell anyone"????
I hate my self for doing this, but i'm
afraid there is no stopping me.
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forced_therapy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2004 Posts: 23
It's B/c... Posted: 01-12-05 23:22pm
Did you ever address the psychological
reasons behind why you did it before? I
didn't, and here I am 13 years later,
doing it again. I stopped before b/c my
parents made me. Well, nobody's making me
now. And u stopped b/c you were scared.
Well, 2 years is a long time to get over
being scared.
See what I mean? If you don't address the
issues behind it, u will keep doing it.
As my shrink said, the eating behavior is
the symptom of the real problem, whatever
that real problem may be.
Have you tried counseling?
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mshanson
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 102 Location: California
You Are Not Stupid! Posted: 01-16-05 03:32am
:( I feel so bad for you when you put
yourself down! No, you are not stupid or
crazy. The whole throwing up &
binging thing is very addictive, and
anyone would do the same thing in your
situation. The only way out is to let
yourself eat & keep the food down.
Also, counseling could help, so that you
can get someone to tell you that you are
ok, not a terrible person. This bulimia
is a disease, like anything else --
cancer, diabetes --- so you have nothing
to be ashamed of. You didn't ask to have
this disease. There are probably a
million reasons why you have it, but the
only thing that matters is that you get
help & get out of it soon because (as
you know already) it is ruining your life.
You have a lot to live for & you
don't deserve to have this.
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hurt28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 49 Location: lowell
I No How Ou Feel Posted: 01-16-05 13:03pm
Hey well I no how you feel and stopping is
soo hared I have tried sooo many times I
am 14 snd I started when I was 12 just
because my friend did it and I said oh
maby I could loose weight and I did so I
stopped but I gained weight and I did it
again and I am still doing it today so it
is sooo hard to stop and I hope you really
will. I dont really no what else to say
b/c I am going through what u r going
through. I havent had any help and I
really reallllly wish my friends didnt no
b/c they look at u like u r weird now so
dont telll any one no matter what ok welll
I hope I helped you a little ok bye good
luck.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 01-16-05 13:32pm
Please get professional help! You may
think you are healthy but you are killing
yourself, you are hurting yourself more
and more. It sounds like you have people
that care about you, don't hurt them,
don't lie to them as you are lying to
yourself as well and then you have to tell
another lie to cover up for the other one.
You are not stupid, you just need help,
there is nothing to be ashamed of, we all
need help sometime in our life. Don't
hate yourself, no one is perfect. Keep
us posted.
Sincerely,
sandy
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hurt28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 49 Location: lowell
?? Posted: 01-25-05 18:39pm
Hey I wish I could believe u but I started
again I just cant stop I think mainly it
is that I really dont wanna stop till I am
satisfies and to tell you the truth im not
at all I am sooo fat. I was sooo scared
to go to the doctors today but it went ok
except she thinks I may have a heart
prob?? She says the reason I had to take
the test was to make sure I didnt cause
they never knew if it was in my family b/c
I was adopted but I knew it was b/c she
though when she went to hear my heart she
keep listing to it like for sooooo long
and normall it would have been quick.. My
blood pressure was 110/65 is that normal??
Wellll how have u guys been??
