Sound's like a job for dear abby...But here goes:

you have shared several problems:
1) age 49...Highly unlikekly to become spontaneously pregnant, even with perfect tubes.

2) you have tied tubes.

3) unmarried.

4) boyfriend who wants a baby.

5) high risk of down syndrome in older moms.

6) no guarantees that in vitro will work.

Since "cost is not a problem" better get an evaluation from a doctor (who will tell you what I just did!) or better yet, start thinking like a 49 year old instead of a 25 year old...Because if the guy you're with wants kids, he'd better move on to someone younger.

Hi mama,

it becomes harder to carry a pregnancy full term as you get older, their are lots of things that can cause complications, but it is not impossible, you just need to talk to your doctor or maybe your doctor could refer you to the appropriate people to speak to about possibly getting pregnant. As for helden, your response was abrupt, rude and very unhelpful. Actually to get straight to the point, you are a complete b*tch. It is unfortunate that the world is full of evil people like you who have nothing better to do than put others down just because you have so many insecurities of your own. Deal with your own problems first helden, and only then attempt to help others.

Good luck mama, i'm sure you will find the help you are looking for.

Suzy

I red your post and can sympythise with you.Im 39 I have a son from my frst marriage and had my tubes tied 21 yrs ago.Me and my husband now 8 years.We want a child together so in june 2001 I went and had a tubal reversal.There are women your age that are trying to have a baby.It is a lower chance for us but im willing to take that chance.I still havent got preg.I have had a lap and ultrasounds hsg test and have been on clomid for 8 mths and had a iui.Then we found out hubby had a low count,so he went to see a male urologist and they found a growth on his urethat tube they have taken that out.And now have found out his prolactinlevel is too high so want to do a ct or brainscan on the pituatorygland to see why it is ellivated.He is only 29.So it wouldnt be a bad idea if you do deide to try for him to be tested also.Mare

Hey, I think it is worth a try as for the younger guy, i'm 43 and my boyfriend is 21. I've written in to get some responses on that to find out if I am normal or not. My son is only two years younger. But if you are happy together, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. I would check this out with a doctor and go from there. I'm sure there is something you can do. My boyfriend wants a baby too so i'm just starting to think about that even though I haven't had my tubes tied i'm going to talk to my gynocologist about the complications at my age. I wish you the best of luck and lots of happiness for the two or you (maybe the three of you).. One more thing......It doesn't matter these days whether you're married or not, when these babies grow up there will be more with single parents than married parents. Good luck!!

To all that replied to my question, than you. I was only looking for answers to my concerns and got a lot more than I asked for. To those of you that answered with love and concerns I am greatful. To those of you that thought did not get a carring answer I want to tell you that I do not care what you think because we hear what you said all of the time. But everyone is intitled to there own way of thinking and god will still love you in the end. But to tell you the truth I fell as you are judging us on the fact of the age differenc and to you I say, " I really do not care what you say or how you fell." the fact that I am 49 and want a baby and so does my new husband and we fell good is all that we care about and the doctor has given us both a clean bill of health.

Thank you
mama 2

As I said im 39 will be 40 this year and will continue on trying to have a baby as long as I can.Alot of women ar ehaving babies older now.I wont lie it is a hard road to go down when you have to get a reversal and checked and meds and test.But it is also worth it.Because you know you are doing all you can to have a child.Mare,and im sorry for the rude comment you received.

Most women at your age are awaiting the arrival of grandchildren. Why would you want to start all over again with a baby at nearly 50 yrs. Old? You also need to realize that after 30 or more yrs. Of age your fertility goes down. I suspect yours doesn't have much fertility dust left.

For three Months i did not have a period? Finally it came down.
However i felt fluttering in my stomach? Just like it feels when was expecting the children. However, i just started the menopause symtoms
It was the strangest thing in the world to date. My stomach was bloated
it was hard on the lower end. And it turned out to be... Just menopause!
ha ha... i can laugh about it now. But, when the reality hit me that i could have a Menopause baby. It was a little scary to be honest, the man i live with is 40? so, it is Not totally out of the question for him?... for me at 48
and 5 grandchildren to love. i just was not so sure that i needed to go through seasame st AGAIN!...
All is indeed well that ends Well... ha ha

all is Vanity

well if you think you can cope and if maybe you have a good family to help you out now and then ....then go for it my mum had my sister when she was 49 almost 50 and she,s never looked back they get on great she did have help with us other daughters ,but mum done most of the bringing up ,and done it well so if your fit ,healthy happy do it !

I can't imagine having baby at 49. When the kid is 20, you will be 69? I still remember a college roommate cried because her dad was in his 60 while the parents of the rest of us were in 40. I am 43, when I look at babies these days, I feel tired by imagining how much work is involved. Good for you, so brave wanting a baby at this age.

I also would suggest you think about the points in the so-called cruel message with a cool head. They are valid points you should take into account. Don't get your hopes up too much. When it happens it happens.

Goodness gracious...the responses you have gotten. Not to worry. Go with your heart as long as you are healthy and you are approved by your physician. I am 46 and have been together with my boyfriend, 31, for four years now. We are only getting stronger and better in our relationship. We have contemplated having children in the future. I have a 10 year old, my only child and had her at 36. No complications. I do believe there have been women with pregnancies in their late 40's and 50's. It is possible, although our age increases the risks, but with proper monitoring and exams from your medical physicians, I would definitely go for it. Especially if you are sure you love this man. Best of luck to you.

btween me and my hubby we have 10 there is no right timing at least you are not 10 or 13 and sweety you alone can make the choice and to me babies are a gift from god and I hope everything goes well keep in touch ok . blessed wishes 2 both.

I was disappointed to see so many women disouraging you and stating statistics concerning your desire to have a child. If the words you hear are from God then they are loving and enouraging and those who speak bad news and discouragment into your life are not speaking for God. Seek God's word on this and remember anyone who encourages you is doing the Lord's will...never give up on Him-His ways are not like man's and He hears you. God is not limited by man's statistics or man's opinions thankfully and He will give you the desires of your heart if you delight yourself in Him. Psalm 37:4. Nothing is too hard for God...Seek Him.

Go for it. If you are healthy and love children, you should be able to raise a healthy loving child. At our age, we have pretty much dealt with our garbage so I think that this time the child will be raised just as loving as the others without our old baggage. We are retirement age, we can raise this child without taking it to child care, without only seeing them a few hours of they day. I am considering have one at 49 with my boyfriend who I have known since I was 9 and he will be 52. We are just more healthier these days and if you are not, start eating right. We have great programs to help you to learn to eat right and healthy. Good luck

Want to say Hello to everyone......here are my thoughts......life is short. Our hearts know what we truly want and who we love...maybe it's not what we planned or who we planned to be with...but genuine love doesn't have any boundaries and as far as I know...when you love someone...you will reach for the stars. I was with someone for 3 years and we still love each other despite what others say...but we aren't together anymore. He is now 25 and I'm 47. Those were the best 3 years aside from having and raising my four children. I would love to have a baby with him...hence the reason he really left was his family didn't approve of the age difference and what if he wanted a child and I couldn't give him one...? It riped us both apart but I believe if you are willing to try out of love........no matter what the age...I believe you should go for it. God will decide. Some people are nasty and do not seem to have anything good to say.......stay away from them and ignore their insults...they are miserable in their lives and are trying to bring you down as well. I would do anything to have a baby with this guy...yes, even at 47...because I love him...my problem is I haven't had a period in 2 years so I don't think I have a chance anymore...best wishes to you.......keep your priorities straight and jump in with both feet! Love will catch you.............IN heart, Wendy

Mama2 I am new here also. Do not listen to narrow minded individuals, stuck in the dark ages. If he wants a child, and most importantly, if you do, then have one. Don't let others fears and inflexibility influence your life or the life of your baby.

Yep... as the subject says, we had a woman in our city deliver twins at 60!!! No clinic here in town would help her, so she flew to India, had donor embryos implanted, and delivered the wee ones just last month. She got SO MUCH FLAK from everyone!!! and the doctors were so ticked with her. WHATEVER!!!!

My hubby and I went the gamut of vasectomy reversal ($$), tried for 2 years, then we tried IVF/ICSI ($$$$), that too failed... we also tried acupuncture and traditional Chinese meds ($$$ & $$$) and then took out a loan towards adopting internationally ($$$$$$) but then the economy went down the tubes, and we are left empty handed with broken hearts and spirits. Currently, we are undergoing the screening process for domestic adoption (private adoption means again $$$$$$ and some nightmare stories from friends), and waiting on pins and needles to see if we are approved. To top it all off, they tell us government adoptions have little if any normal healthy children, because the children they have available have all been apprehended or given up for a reason! (birth defects, FAS, Down syndrome, drugs, HIV, etc, etc)...

SO... bottom line... IF you are SUCCESSFUL in getting pregnant whatever method you need to do, I say KUDOS and CONGRATULATIONS. I wish you the very, very BEST of LUCK in your journey to get pregnant!!!! I would give ANYTHING to have a baby with my hubby! You go girl!

XOXOXOXOXOXXO!

Have you considered going to another country yourself to try IVF ? I'm living in Egypt and the cost here is considerably cheaper then USA about 9,0000le (or about 2,000 us$) even with airfare, hotel etc, it would still be cost effective and nice holiday as well. Fertility treatments are fairly common here, there was recently a story about a women having septuplets here.

I am in the same boat at 46 and contemplating a child with my 33 yr old boyfriend. I can only say that my personal feelings are, if you can get pregnant and deliver a happy healthy baby.. then more power to you. I dont know if that will happen for me. But if not lets remember there are thousands of children in need of parents already in the world. I think all of us would do well to consider adoption. A perk would be that if you are older and adopt a child that is 8 or so, you will not be as old when they graduate as you would if you had your own baby, ha ha