I have definitely been there and have learned that if you are not happy, you are the onlyone that can change it as they will not change, we can bend but we will not be broken. I was always taught that if you make your bed, you must lay in it, but now I have learned that when the sheets get dirty, you must change the sheets and wash them. I also realized that you can find that helping hand at the end of your arm.
I also believe in giving someone another chance, try to sit down with your s/o and discuss the problems, you can learn alot with facial expressions.
Good luck to you.
Sincerely,
sandy

Ten years is too long to wait for him to change. His issues run way too deep. Get away from him. I waited twenty five and am in the process of leaving. Wish I had done it when I first realized I made a mistake. I thought he would grow. I was young and inexperienced. Now I am older and I know people with this degree of problems do not change, it is too deep. Find a healthier person to be with. Find friends first and get stabilized or you will repeat the pattern. Get some help for you.

Hey eveyone:)
I have a big problem! I know it's easy for people to say,"just leave",but I was brought up to "stick it out". My partner and I went to the same grammar school together,and high school together but never talked to each other.We were shy.We met up again 3 years ago.We didn't really get to know each other.When my ex-husband left me,my husband now kind of replaced him quickly.Four months later I got pregnant(we planned it).I know....Why so soon? But I didn't realize he kept things to himself,kept secrets,and don't really like to talk things out.He says it's better to deal with problems on our own.He has threatened to leave,threw dishes(in front of our daughter) and yelled.But we shouldn't talk things out or a marriage counselor?He said other people do not need to handle our problems.He watches other woman when we go anywhere.He has watched porn many times and swore he wouldn't do it again.It bothers me sooo very much because I have gotten so many compliments and was asked out by so many men but he is the only one who makes me feel insecure.Any advice?Anyone? Have a nice day:)

It is a good thing to try to work things out,but both parties have to be willing to try.You cannot make the relationship work by yourself.If he says you are the only one with a problem,that is not a good sign.If he is not willing to work with you to resolve your issues,then you can go for counceling without him.You cannot change him,but you can change how you react to his tirades.If you feel physically threatened,you must not stay -especially if you are pregnant.Leave until he cools off and you can talk in a calm manner.Remember,a relationship takes two-you cannot fix it all by yourself.Best to you all.
Patty