Me and my boyfriend have been talking about getting married and my mom and dad they have a real bad habbit that he don't know about and I don't know if I should tell him about or not ? I mean I know he may find out soon by himself but iam afide to tell him what if he hates for it or what if he tells the wrong people about my family or what if not telling him makes him more mad what should I do can any one help?
Not knowing the entire situation makes that a difficult question to answer, but I can tell you this. It all depends on what your parents "habit" is. If it is something personal between them, that doesn't concern you, or your boyfriend, and is really none of your business, then you probably shouldn't tell him about it.
If it's something that embarrasses you, and he somehow finds out later, i'm sure he will understand your reasons for not telling him about it. And i'm sure he will not hate you for not telling him.
If it's something concerning you, that could effect your marriage, tell him.
Like say, if he has a real problem with people that eat broccoli, and wouldn't want to be involved with a family that eats it, and your parents eat it, then maybe you should tell him.
On the other hand, if you know that your parents are sensitive about their broccoli intake, and would be upset if you told him, then you should keep their secret.
If you eat brocolli too... You should tell him.
This is a terrible example, I know. But I can only assume that in the back of my mind, I can figure out what your parent's "habit" is. So I figured this example would serve it's purpose. I could be wrong however, there are a million things it could be.
At any rate, if you don't want to post it publicly, but you need someone to talk to, you can send me a pm anytime, and we can talk. If you want.
Confidentiality between your parents and you vs. Honesty with your fiance, is a hard road to travel. I'm sorry that your in this situation.
I was up last night thinking about your situation, and here's what I came up with...
if you think in your heart that it's something you should tell your fiance, then you should tell him.
If you two are ready to be married, then that means that you love each other very much, and that you trust each other.
You need to be able to trust him, that he wont go around telling other people about your family's personal life. Especially if you let him know that the information you share with him is personal.
In my opinion, if he ends up hating you, for something that your parents do, then he is not worth your time. He needs to be able to accept and love you for who you are, not who your parents are, or what they do.
And no matter what your parents do, it's not for him to judge if it's right or wrong.
Anyway, I hope this helps you. And I hope that things work out.
I just wanted to thank you for the advice it helped me a lot but the bad habbit they have is they smoke pot so dose a lot of my family members I hate that they do a lot and wish they didn't I think the fact that I don't smoke and never have and never will help me tell him I think he needs to know cause it is kinda hard not to know they smoke pot u can smell it but he may never have smellt it before so who knows