Medical Questions > Womens Health > Sexual Health - Women Forum

Cant Orgasm, Whats the Matter?? (Page 1)

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I and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for 14 months now and during this time we have done all kinds of things but no matter what happens I donÂ’t seem to be able to achieve an orgasm :( I really want to experience one and be able to have an orgasm; I think it will make the relationship and sex/oral alot better. Would I defiantly know if I have had an orgasm? I get some strange feelings like my stomach been tight and some times it feels like im going to wee.. DonÂ’t know what this is? Can all women orgasm or just the majority? Also when stimulating the clit it seems to be really sensitive and cant put up with it for very long as it feels like it tickles, why is it like this, its really getting me down and putting me off sex not been able to achieve nothing, its like whatÂ’s the point in doing it when im not going to get nothing out of it in the end, I mean its great when we do it but im just desperate to have an orgasm, what age should you be able to start orgasm? What is likely to make me orgasm?

Also I was really in to sex and had it often, almost every night and some times twice in a night, but now itÂ’s dying down to like twice a week and I am finding it hard at times to get turned on? WhatÂ’s happening why is everything like this? Its really stressing me out, any help would be greatly appreciated
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First Helper Kate1234
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replied January 6th, 2005
Please every 1 that reads this give me a bit of help. I really want to get this sorted and start enjoying sex again!
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replied January 7th, 2005
Not sure I can give you a good answer, but i'll try:

first of all calm down! The more stressed out you get the less chances you have of actually reaching an orgasm...
The best way of achieving one is by stimulating the clitoris, but because it's reeeeealy sensitive you can't be too rough or too fast. Maybe you can try to get it stimulated through your panties or something.
Have you ever tried to have one on your own? Maybe that can help you to know your own body, and realise what you like, and how much preassure and speed you can take...
Talk to your boyfriend and ask him to gently try diferent things. Also try already being excited before having sex, that helps a lot!

I can understand why you're feeling down, but I belive everyone can have one! Just calm down, have fun with sex (it's the whole point of doing it!!!) and don't make it your goal in life because the more relaxed you feel the better...

Hope for the best!
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replied January 7th, 2005
Never really try on my own, I dont like to do that kind of thing by my self, not sure why. I have done it severl times infront of my boyfriend but after a while I just seem to get bored of playing with my self and just want him to do it for me, I enjoy sex but it all seems to be dying down, like we used to do it almost every day and love it, but now for some reason I dont want it as often some times only once or twice a week. I dont know why its happening. I heard that once I have an orgasm it shud just happen after that because I will know how to experience one, will my age be anything to do with it? Im 16 but been sexualy active for almost a year now
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replied January 8th, 2005
Nope,age has nothing to do with it. Ask him to masturbate you,really gently. Maybe that will work.
Sex is a mental thing, the physical part is the less important.. Think sexy thoughts!! And relax, I know i've said it before but believe me it's really important..

Good luck!
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replied January 11th, 2005
You need to be much more relaxed and he needs to take a lot longer time building you up. Most young guys don't know how to build sexual excitement in a young nervous girl so they rush through it. But a book called the joy of sex and really read it. Take a long time, and even tell him to not even think about him cumming. He is not the important one right now, as he owes you a few. Lol
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replied January 11th, 2005
I Would Love to Know That Answer to That Question Too!
My fiance and I have been together over a year.

And I have never had an orgasm...Ever.

I have had two kids, from my previous marriage (i think
i felt it once). :cry:
he is really wanting to know what to do to bring me to that point.

Any suggestion?

He says, I bring him to that point. He quivers and everything.

But I don't moan, scream, quiver..Nothing.

Please respond, kate :roll: :oops:
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replied January 11th, 2005
All women need to know there own bodys and how to got off by yourself before you expect anyone else to. Try workin up to intercourse massage, kissin, touchin, try just plain lub h2o is the best. Not scented or favored too sticky. Relax and just enjoy it not everyone has and orgasm everytime. Once in a while is always nice.
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replied January 12th, 2005
I Understand
I have never had an orgasm either..Well I can when I use a massager..But other than that...I cant even give myself 1. I know what to do and everything...But I cannot reach an orgasm. Not with sex, oral..Nothing. And it sucks..And sometimes it can ruin my day. I know how u feel.
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replied January 12th, 2005
Re: I Need Help
I do have an orgasm but on my clit is there another orgas m besides the one u have on the clit. Do u actually have one inside u r vagina cuz I have only have one on the clit when I have oral sex. Is it possible to have one inside the vagina cuz I have never had one when I am having intercourse , how does it feel cuz I dont know if I had one can some one help please. :(
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replied January 12th, 2005
Tried to Orgasm With Myself
:oops: ok, lastnight, I thought fine, everyone says to try it yourself, do you yourself, get to know your own body. Soooo, I did. I didn't find it relaxing, cause (ok I would rather my man's fingers being there then mine..Oh and by the way, my arm killed me afterwards lol...!) I think I came close, I guess its just going to take some experiments, trying it out, whatever..But like my finace said I am not going to stop until you cum...That is if he doesn't first. He gives everything so good, I mean I want to have an orgasm. The way he gives oral, oh my god, there are times that I feel like my legs are like jelly (if I tried to move, I couldn't). Incredible sensation. Maybe, he is looking for a different reaction? I mean, do all women quiver? Do all women moan and scream? What is the line drawn for differences? I feel the climax, where I go up and then, I hold back, because I am worried I am gonna (sorry this is embarrassing/ pee or fart..Do something stupid). So I go on a really incredible high, and then down I go! He is totally fulfilled and I am like left hanging..(really sucks). I know it should feel like, cloud 9. Anyhow please, give me ideas about what women's reactions are. I love him so much, and he says its important for a man to see that he is turning on his woman, and fulfilling her. I really want this, he says I bring him to new levels which he has never been before, and his os are very strong. I mean you would think he is having a sezuire lol. Which is a good thing, means I am fulfilling him, and totally pleasuring him but....What about me?
Ok, I am done. Sincerely kate :roll: :cry:
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replied January 12th, 2005
Tried to Orgasm With Myself
:oops: ok, lastnight, I thought fine, everyone says to try it yourself, do you yourself, get to know your own body. Soooo, I did. I didn't find it relaxing, cause (ok I would rather my man's fingers being there then mine..Oh and by the way, my arm killed me afterwards lol...!) I think I came close, I guess its just going to take some experiments, trying it out, whatever..But like my finace said I am not going to stop until you cum...That is if he doesn't first. He gives everything so good, I mean I want to have an orgasm. The way he gives oral, oh my god, there are times that I feel like my legs are like jelly (if I tried to move, I couldn't). Incredible sensation. Maybe, he is looking for a different reaction? I mean, do all women quiver? Do all women moan and scream? What is the line drawn for differences? I feel the climax, where I go up and then, I hold back, because I am worried I am gonna (sorry this is embarrassing/ pee or fart..Do something stupid). So I go on a really incredible high, and then down I go! He is totally fulfilled and I am like left hanging..(really sucks). I know it should feel like, cloud 9. Anyhow please, give me ideas about what women's reactions are. I love him so much, and he says its important for a man to see that he is turning on his woman, and fulfilling her. I really want this, he says I bring him to new levels which he has never been before, and his os are very strong. I mean you would think he is having a sezuire lol. Which is a good thing, means I am fulfilling him, and totally pleasuring him but....What about me?
Ok, I am done. Sincerely kate :roll: :cry:
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Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 12th, 2005
Tried to Orgasm With Myself
:oops: ok, lastnight, I thought fine, everyone says to try it yourself, do you yourself, get to know your own body. Soooo, I did. I didn't find it relaxing, cause (ok I would rather my man's fingers being there then mine..Oh and by the way, my arm killed me afterwards lol...!) I think I came close, I guess its just going to take some experiments, trying it out, whatever..But like my finace said I am not going to stop until you cum...That is if he doesn't first. He gives everything so good, I mean I want to have an orgasm. The way he gives oral, oh my god, there are times that I feel like my legs are like jelly (if I tried to move, I couldn't). Incredible sensation. Maybe, he is looking for a different reaction? I mean, do all women quiver? Do all women moan and scream? What is the line drawn for differences? I feel the climax, where I go up and then, I hold back, because I am worried I am gonna (sorry this is embarrassing/ pee or fart..Do something stupid). So I go on a really incredible high, and then down I go! He is totally fulfilled and I am like left hanging..(really sucks). I know it should feel like, cloud 9. Anyhow please, give me ideas about what women's reactions are. I love him so much, and he says its important for a man to see that he is turning on his woman, and fulfilling her. I really want this, he says I bring him to new levels which he has never been before, and his os are very strong. I mean you would think he is having a sezuire lol. Which is a good thing, means I am fulfilling him, and totally pleasuring him but....What about me?
Ok, I am done. Sincerely kate :roll: :cry:
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replied January 12th, 2005
We try everything, he does everything rite, dosent rush or anything, some times I feel like I need to wee, what that? And I couple of time latelely, I wud enjoy it loads and not want him to stop I duno what caused it but I cried, I couldnt help it I duno why I did it, any ideas? I just wish it wasnt so sensitive it really tickles to much to bare it some times, but other times it feels great, how long does it actually take? A couple of time during intercorse I will rub it down ther, but after about 5-10 min and nothing it happening I give up. Shud I do it for longer? Or perhaps try some toys?
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replied January 17th, 2005
I have found myself experiencing more and more difficulty in reaching orgasm myself but i'm in my mid-30s and have had plenty of orgasms before so I know what i'm missing. One thing I noticed early on though, is that I often need to have my left leg straight out and muscles really clenched to really get over the hump so to speak!! With my latest boyfriend, who is a big muscular guy, I can't get my leg straightened out when we are in the missionary position so I find it hard to orgasm. Also he likes to make me into a pretzel with my legs over my head and so I have to concentrate on just breathing so I don't feel so uncomfortable. Hence, faking orgasms has now come to be an occasional reality, much to my chagrin.
So my advice to you is maybe to try different positions that might be more comfortable, see if you instictlvely tense up certain muscles to help you get that building up to orgasm feeeling, also maybe try "talking dirty" or have him do this to you as much as you feel comfortable. I also find that when I repeat a word that makes me horny I can get there much easier.

This might be psychologically silly but I hope something here helps work for you! :p
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replied January 17th, 2005
I never had an orgasm umtill my boyfriend broke both of his arms. He used to rub my clit during intercorse but I never came. When his arms were broken and we were having sex I really wanted my clit rubbed so I did it myself. I accheived my first orgasm and now I always have multiple rgasms. So my aadvise to you is to rub your own clit during intercorse. You can go as fast or as slow as your want. Knowone knows your own body better thanx yourself. And I bet your man will enjoy watching you rub yourself almost as much as u enjoy it.

Also...If this is a serious relationship, you are on the pill, and you have both been checked for std's try having sex without a condom. Personally I can not have an orgasm with a condom.

Hope I helped :)
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replied January 20th, 2005
Girl, ive experienced an orgasm and it feels amazing. Heres my tip on how I get to the orgasm part.
Just play around with each other.
Kissing for a while then feel eachother then oral then let him slip into you. You can rub yourself lightly not directly on the clit cuz thats too sensitive. Maybe try a lil lower between clith and the opening. Rub it while hes doing you eventually youll start to feel like you "want to cum" but then dont stop yourself just think that your gon cum soon and then itll happen.
Well results may vary.

Have fun! :)
and if you want an orgasm while having oral. Make him lick under the clit cuz its gon be too sensitive then move around with his tongue alot until you find the spot that makes you feel the best!.

Smiles.
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replied January 20th, 2005
Is I True Or Not ??????
Is it true that a women can have two difrent kind of orgasam? On thats the clit and the other one thats in side of youre vagina??? But its not the g -spot
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replied January 24th, 2005
Ok girls, there is a beautiful toy that you have to get it is called the she shell.

It is a clit stimulator and has varying speeds ... You can place it on your clit while you're having intercourse and you don't have to have your arm in the way... It can be pretty powerful on its highest setting but it also has a very low setting... I highly recommend you get one if you have problems having orgasms...


Personally, a man has never given me an orgasm... Not exactly sure why... But I sure can do it myself...

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replied January 25th, 2005
Can't Orgasm?
Ok ladies, it took me 5 years of activity to achieve the big o so I feel ya, but the man I married was the only man to give them to me in nearly every encounter, sometimes three times in one. No, it was not the size of his penis that mattered, it was the fact that he could relax me and excite me all at the same time. Also, he never gets upset or uptight if I touch myself while we are having sex. He encourages it. This is our "sure fire" route to o'sville. He starts out by orally stimulating my clit, then I lay on my back, sometimes with a small pillow under the upper part of my hips, and keep my legs up in the air with my knees on either side of my head. It's very important that you get into such positions in a way that still keeps you comfortable and makes it easy for you to massage your clit. Even if your clit is usually very sensitive, if your vagina is simultaneously being stimulated it can take the edge off. While he's pumping massage your clit until you start finding that the spot your hitting kind of makes your legs twitch or just makes you feel weird in general. Keep doing it. Don't stop even if for some reason you just feel like you have to. Most women require simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation. That's why so many women very rarely orgasm. Just remember, when doing this be careful of your fingernails. My husband and I have had an incident or two where his penis came out unexpectedly and my fingernail was right there waiting(ouch) also, please be careful with sex while you're young. Enjoy being young and innocent while you can and don't get so caught up with sex. When you're young even the nicest guys can scar you for life. If having sex is stressful in any way at all, maybe you should rethink it. Don't forget to be a kid while everyone still accepts that you are. In a few years you'll be dying to go back.
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