Aww jess, youre gonna be ok. Mine wasnt planned either. Fact is jeff and I spent labor day weekend at the beach and we tried to always use a condom except we ran out. Actually we thought we got it just right cuz we used the last one sunday night. But when we woke up monday morning before we came back home, well....
Anyhow when I got to thinking uh-oh I tried to convince myself it was something else. You know, my period was late - and I mean really late - and I kept thinking its gonna come but it didnt. When I had a little light bleeding (turned out later it was implantation bleeding) I convinced myself that was it and I was lucky. Wrong. When I started feeling tired and having to pee all the time I told myself I was tired cuz of school and stupid things like that. I think I knew then I was pregnant but I guess I was in denial.
Anyway, jeff finally talked me into taking a test and I think I went in three drug stores and lost my nerve and walked out. Finally he went with me after school and bought a whole bunch of stuff with the preg test sorta thrown in. Then we went to his house and I took the test there and - kapow. I remember just staring at it thinking omg and jeff was like uhoh and omg. Then I just looked at him and totally broke down crying and he just held me and said itd be ok and he'd stand by me.
I thought it was the end of the world then. I was sure my life was over and our parents would kill us. But they didn't, obviously. Haha
i'm almost 20 weeks now and that seems like forever ago. My parents are disappointed but supportive and excited and so are jeff's parents. And jeff's been a great daddy-to-be. I hate to admit it but at first I sorta hoped maybe i'd lose my baby but that all went away the moment I first heard its heart beating in me. Now I can feel it moving in me and I love it and I think i'd die if anything happened to my baby now. Sure, i'm still scared sometimes and i'm nervous about ebing a mom, but I love my baby, I love feeling it in me, and I love knowing i'm having it.
So I know exactly how you feel. But i'm also here to tell you it's gonna be ok. Good luck!!!