I See Things Like a Dream... Posted: 01-01-05 17:42pm
For the past couple months i've been
seeing things. They usually occur when
i'm alone. Its like a dream because
whenever I "wake up" or come back to my
senses, they were never really there. Its
kind of like watching a movie from my
eyes.
There are lot of random things i've seen.
Most of them are disgusting or scary.
They freak me out completely. These
situations are real, but the freaky stuff
that I see does not really happen.
1. My mom went into the store. I sat in
the car, my foot hanging out the window.
I leaned the seat back and closed my eyes.
After a couple of minutes, I reopened
them, and there was a man covered in blood
hanging over the windowseal. His tongue
was hanging out of his mouth and he had on
the clothes of rags and worn out things
with holes in them. He had a knife in his
hand. It was covered with blood. There
was blood running down the window and when
I tried to bring my foot back inside, I
realized he had doing it cut off my foot.
My stomach immediatly turned upside down.
There was blood dripping off him and onto
my clothes. He ate my foot.. His eyes
grew with desire. They were all puffy
with bags under them. His veins were
pumping all over his body. The hairs on
his arm was standing on edge. He wanted
to eat me...
2. I'd sit on the computer and to the
left of me, out of the corner of my eyes,
I kept seeing a girl crawling down the
stairs. Like from the movie the grudge
(if any of you have seen it.)
3. I was walking down the street, alone,
and in the dark. I was staring at the
ground the entire time to keep myself from
trying to think up anything scary. Too
bad, the first second I looked up, a scary
figure ran across the street. It looked
disgusting, its body leaving a trail of
blood behind it. It kind of looked like
golumn, from lord of the rings. I stopped
for a second, but I figured I should keep
going home..
4. I got dropped off from the bus at the
bus stop before my usual one. I felt like
I needed the walk. When I got home, I
opened the door, and blood was everywhere.
My eyes opened really wide. My heart
just dropped and I felt it hit the bottom
of me. I walked out of the kitchen and
into the living room. Lady's (my dog)
body was there, her head was chopped off.
My eyes welded up with tears and I
couldn't see anything but red blood
everywhere. With each step up the stairs,
a tear fell. I was crying hysterically by
now. I followed the trail of blood into
my mom's room. Otto's (my other dog) body
laid on the bed, covered in blood. Her
stomach was slashed open and her insides
spread out across the blankets. Lady's
head lay beside otto's...
Those are some of the random crap that
i've seen. I don't know whats wrong with
me. I'm honestly a sweet girl, haha, and
I don't know why I picture this weird
stuff.
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ONDERDONK
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2004 Posts: 81 Location: red shift space,
Welcome to the Demon World Posted: 01-19-05 21:14pm
Hi ,
don't take this the wrong way, I know
you're probobly frightened by what you
saw. Most people in modern culture have
absolutely no training on how to deal with
the other world. This world likes to say
that one's not real. Visa versa too.
There is no reason to fear. You are being
called by the spirits. That's my
interpretation anyway, please take with
the grain of salt it deserves, as I am a
schizotypal maniac. But a shaman for
twenty years, and I consider my dual
membership among humans and demons a huge
advantage.
American indian society knows what to do.
I am an aztec indian, haveing trained with
shamans around the world, practicing for
twenty years. I am red magic, a combo of
white and black.
Here's my interpretation. The spirits are
calling you to be a shaman. It's time to
learn about the world you are being
introduced to. But there is a danger, if
you entertain the slightest notion of
"fear of death". That's the problem .
Modern culture preaches fear of death, and
so when you step directly outside your
"shell", and seee the demons all around
you, you become confused and think they
are "here" in the human world and you're
wrong. Simple interpretation mistake of
your simplistic culture.
It's not there's one of you, one world,
and both you and the demons/spirits are in
it. It's that there are two separate
worlds - the human world and the demon
world. The human world is the core, but
it is surrounded and far outnumbered by
the hungry dead spirits. Teeth and jaws
and dogs in the night. And there are two
of you. And your consciousness is
expanding to see out of both sets of eyes.
Just don't be confused. Know that most
people stay in their shell and can't see
what you see. They can be attacked by
demons but they interpret it as a cold or
a nausea or cancer. But you see them
trying to scare you - to get your
attention. Like wild animals, if you show
fear, they'll try to scare you. They're
confused too, and hungry. You must have
more than average of what they need.
Don't listen to your foolish culture and
turn them a deaf ear! They need us!
Minister to the demons. Teach them what
they need to see - the heaven inside ofc
them. Because evil, calmed down, is
beauty.
Realize that you can go between the worlds
now, which is what a shaman is - a person
who knows the secret of traveling between
the worlds.
I've been practicing for twenty years but
on my own I can't get far outside my body,
only out of my shell and into the demon
world. The first stop. But you need to
develop a relationship with a spirit
guide, a powerful implementation of the
entire universe around you, dedicated to
you, protecting you, and feeding you all
the power you can handle, and teaching you
how to use it. That's who's behind what's
going on, and it must be for your own
good. He needs to guide you past the
demon world to the mystical dimension
where all the shamans go.
They are very powerful. You have been
tapped to join them. It's as bad as a
gang though. If you go in you'll never
get out. You'll be permanently changed,
and your human life will fall away. Like
dying. Or becoming a monk. But
fascinating. An amazing way to spend a
human life, but hard for those who have
grown so attached to the human world and
way of life.
And beware of attempting to ignore the
call. They know what you have and they
know where you are, and if you fight them
they'll posess you, and no amount of
psychotropic drugs / chemical lobotomies
will get them off of you.
Has a close relative died recently?
Anyway, like I said - grain of salt. This
is an option you should be aware of.
-onderdonk
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speedzup
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 15 Location: speedoz travlling circus
*!?@"*! Posted: 01-20-05 11:24am
You cant tell him that!
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ONDERDONK
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2004 Posts: 81 Location: red shift space,
Posted: 01-20-05 15:32pm
I did put the "grain of salt" disclaimer
in there twice.
But this is something they will not hear
from anyone else.
Most people probobly don't care anyway,
but I write to alot of people and once in
the while
they relate to me and are thankful for the
alternative explanations.
I tried seroquel about 5 years ago, and I
liked it as a recreational type of drug.
Made me calm. I said to myself "this must
be what it's like to be normal, because
i'm not thinking up strange or
antagonistic things all the time, i'm just
kind of zombie like, and my behavior is
coming out alot more like what most
people's is'
but they got me up to 600mg a day of the
junk, and then I went biking up to a
mountintop and looked down over the hudon
river valley and said -'this isn't for me.
This is nice but it isn't fixing my
problem' - so I quit cold turkey. Quit th
drug, quit coffee, quit food, quit water,
cut my phone lines with scissors, threw my
wife out, let the electricity get cut off,
and for 8 days I was more crazy than
normal, kind of dangerous(but I pulled all
punches, luckily) and then I settled down,
back to my inital state.
And that taught me that it wasn't the
"chemical imbalance", I am just a mutant.
I have a level of serotonin that's
different, but my genes want it right
there where it is, and if drugs mss with
it the genes just fight back. My insanity
is my equilibrium.
This is who I am. I don't need the
chemical lobotomy they want me to have.
The doctors all suggest I try this stuff,
but I just say "explain to me how this is
suppose to help me" because I know they
have no idea what the science is - they
just know it shuts up obnoxious nonsense,
which is all they think of anything they
didn't learn in school with their five
senses.
And while I was on the zombie meds, I
didn't get the rave reviews I usually get
for th classes I teach. My insanity helps
me. My delusions are my hobby. This is
only an option for me because of the
shamanism training. It's not for
everyone, but it is for some of the people
but it isn't really well known in the
caucasian cultures.
Onderdonk
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speedzup
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 15 Location: speedoz travlling circus
Posted: 01-21-05 02:33am
How long have you been on your own for?
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speedzup
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 15 Location: speedoz travlling circus
to Raj Posted: 01-21-05 02:49am
Do you watch a lot of horror
movies,sometimes those sort of things can
really pollute your mind.They stay in your
memory and if you happen to have a mental
illness alot of those films can be twisted
up and brought out into your mind.Thats
probably why your hallucinations are so
gory and horrific.I used to feel like I
was living in a thriller movie when I got
paraniod schizorphrenia, I would have
terrifing visions of how people could harm
me,kill me and even get hurt by things
that werent real.I think you should talk
to someone who can help you, im not saying
they wont put you on drugs because thats
usually the norm when there faced with
something like that.Please speak to
someone.
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zoobone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jan 2005 Posts: 13 Location: Australia
Wowzers !! Posted: 01-29-05 19:35pm
And I thought I had problems ... Even
though my episodes are far less horrific,
I still suffer to the point where I can't
function, and everyday life becomes a epic
struggle, how in hell can you tolerate
such madness ?
