Fear of Being Alone Driving Me Crazy... Help!!! Posted: 12-29-04 05:39am
Ok.
Im just wondering if anyone has the same
thing or can help me... Because my
l0neliness is making me insane... And
pushing me to suicide
apparantly I have borderline personality
disorder... I dont really no much about
it cos I stopped seeing my pshychiatrist
after he said I had it..
My problem is when ppl leave me I have
panic attacks and have these break
downs... The worse one is with my
boyfriend, as soon as he says he has to go
I start crying and begging him to stay,
even threatning suicide. And im not
talking just crying I go absoutely crazy
sobbing and trying to hold him down.
Begging on my knees. Once I even got a
knife and held it to my wrist and
threatened to slit them if he left. When
he leaves I end up crying myself to sleep
and thinking about suicide or talking
sleeping pills so I can sleep (not
overdosing)
this happens nearly every time he goes.
The thing is even if we fight and I am
really angry at him and tell him to leave,
as soon as he heads for the door I start
panicking and begging him to stay.
Ive broken up with him 4 times and each
time ive begged for him back within 5
minutes.
It is basically the same with my friends
but I try and hold my feelings in until
they leave...
Sorry about the long post but its really
bad this week cos my family has gone away
and left me alone for a few weeks and im
going crazy... I really cant handle this
feeling when im alone... My boyfriend is
refusing to come over and ive started just
going out with ppl I would never usually
see just to avoid being alone.
How can I make myself not care about
people leaving me. I cant handle it
anymore
|
dhiggins3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Austin Texas USA
You Can Do Something About This Posted: 01-03-05 12:14pm
I kind of used to be like that.. It was
more out of boredom than fear but then I
just learned to enjoy being alone....
First of all you need to ask why you feel
this way.. Are you afraid you will die if
you are alone or are you bored to death?
If its' out of boredom than all you have
to do is think of things that you do that
take up time when you are not alone.
Read a good book.. Time goes by fast when
you are engrossed in a book.. Listen to
some music..Take a walk outside and enjoy
the fresh air.. Maybe do some
housework... Being alone can be a great
thing once you get over your fear.. Don't
have to worry about people being too loud
or hogging the computer.. You can do
whatever you want. If you are truly
afraid that someone is going to hurt you
or you will die.. You have to ask why..
Once you get to the root of what is
causing this.. Then you can move further
ahead but right now.. If you keep on
begging people to stay.. They are not
going to be around and you will be truly
alone.. People don't like to feel chained
down and soon you yourself will get tired
of it when someone wants to go somewhere
but all you want to do it stay home and
relax but you cant' because your scared to
be alone.
|
jurplesman
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 139 Location: Sydney Australia
Posted: 01-18-05 21:59pm
Hello baby cake,
it is good you realize that there is
something irrational going on with you.
Most people assume that the way you think
and acts and feel are the causes of your
experiences, but in reality these
psychological experiences are due to an
underlying metabolic disorder over which
you have no conscious control.
If you go to our web site and test
yourself with the nbi - a paper-and-pencil
test - you should be able to test the
possibility of you having a hypoglycemic
condition, that may be responsible for
your awful feelings.
Go to our web site and search for “nbi”.
If you score high it is likely you have
hypoglycemic condition and the non-drug
treatment for this is going on a
hypoglycemic diet.
Please read:
“what is hypoglycemia?”
“the serotonin connection”
“the hypoglycemic diet”
“beating anxiety”
once you go on a hypoglycemic diet you
will start to feel better in about 2-8
weeks time.
You can also do the self-help
psychotherapy course (free of charge)
which will help you to improve your
self-image.
You can do these courses on your own, or
with the help of a friend, or therapist.
I have dealt with similar things, and
still do to a point to this day.
I used to say that my biggest fear was of
being alone.
One of the things that helped me was to
identify why. What does being alone
signify to you? What is it about being
alone that scares you?
For me it was many things, and more
complex than just a "fear of lonliness", I
was afraid of being unloved, of being
rejected, of being unprotected. I felt
frail and weak most of the time. And I
had crazy thoughts a lot, a part of me
just didn't want to be alone with my own
thoughts, I wanted someone else there to
drown it out. Does anything sound
familiar?
I still have anxiety attacks every so
often, always when i'm alone. I am a wife
and mother now, but if I wake up in bed
alone at night I am terrified.
The difference now is that I know the
reasons behind it. I know that i'm not
crazy, I know I will survive it, I know
that I can be strong enough. When I feel
a panic coming on, instead of letting it
take over, I see it for what it is. I
tell myself that i'm in control, that the
threat is imagined, and nothing will
happen to me. I literally have to talk
myself out of it, but I usually calm down
fairly fast now.
Another thing that I find helps, is the
illusion of company I guess you could call
it. Put on some background noise, music,
tv, whatever. Look for something to do
that will keep your mind (and preferrably
hands) occupied. Read a book, bake some
cookies, work on a hobby. Enjoy your own
company.
I am concerned that you may be suffering
severe depression/anxiety disorder or
something of the like. You should go back
to your doctor and work this through, not
only for your own well-being, but for
those around you. This behavior is
counter-productive, and those people who
you are clinging to so desparately will
reach their limit eventually.
I know how you feel, i've been there. And
you've come here for some help, which is a
great start. Take it one step further and
work it out with a professional, you have
nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Take care.
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Gilly
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Italy
Metal Condition Being Alone Phobia Posted: 06-30-05 03:16am
Yes indeed I have terrible troublebeing
aloneor even superfluous I have a family
hubs and grown up kids but they are always
getting on with thier own lives. And I
never can. I have bipolar disorder but
this particular problem doesnt always come
into that catagory - though it may for
some.
T themoment the risk of my being laoneis
increasing daily and people only comeup
with practical answers which I cannot act
upon when feeling panicked. For one thing
motivations seriously absent when people
are so how do you do anything??? To
distract you.
I also have a problems about friends
going, and my daughter going away at
weekend ( not she doesnt but she is moving
out she is 20) huns is always 'busy either
elsewhere or non comunicative but here. I
get very vey desperate I have toldhim that
is people cant realise how bad it is I
will either run or worse! What can you
do>> hypoglycemia!! Dont belive
that because I have that dont se how it
cant make you get infantile dependancies.
Gilly
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Goblet6
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Euless, Tx.
Lonliness Driving One Crazy Posted: 08-20-07 14:15pm
I've been lonely since my parents died. I
used to take care of them in their
retirement years and now without them I
don't have anyone to live for. I'm not
into exercise. Every day is getting to be
the same. Sure the news on television is
different and the new programs show
promise. Activity day to day is humdrum
and I have no social skills at all. To
the young lady who was at wits end with
her boy friend (Baby-cakes) be glad there
is someone in your life and do whatever it
takes to keep him or someone in your life.
When you don't have a significant other
to bounce the bad off of you will go
crazy. I just wish I knew what to do.
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sunshine51
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jul 2008 Posts: 17 Location: mt pleasant, usa
Thanks: 1
Thanked:9
serotonin and alone Posted: 07-28-08 11:56am
anyone
what is the serotonin connection ??????
I'M disablity and am alone all day, it is
hard pushiing my self to do things i
really need structure i keep telling my
self i'll start tomorrow but never do I
DON'T know what to do TO GET MYSELF OUT
of this rut the work is there for me to do
but i just don't i fill my days with
little shitting things laundry cleaning
the house and i tell mysellf i haven't
done those well enough to suit me i'm a
perfectionest i'll work all day putting
something together and make sure all the
parts are where they aer supose to be the
color is just right it must feel good or
i'll start over again from the beginning
and that is where i get lost , what can i
do ????/