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Mental Health > Mental Conditions Forum > Fear of Being Alone Driving Me Crazy... Help!!!
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Q: Fear of Being Alone Driving Me Crazy... Help!!!
asked by: baby_cakes on December 29th, 2004
Experienced User
Ok.
Im just wondering if anyone has the same thing or can help me... Because my l0neliness is making me insane... And pushing me to suicide

apparantly I have borderline personality disorder... I dont really no much about it cos I stopped seeing my pshychiatrist after he said I had it..

My problem is when ppl leave me I have panic attacks and have these break downs... The worse one is with my boyfriend, as soon as he says he has to go I start crying and begging him to stay, even threatning suicide. And im not talking just crying I go absoutely crazy sobbing and trying to hold him down. Begging on my knees. Once I even got a knife and held it to my wrist and threatened to slit them if he left. When he leaves I end up crying myself to sleep and thinking about suicide or talking sleeping pills so I can sleep (not overdosing)

this happens nearly every time he goes. The thing is even if we fight and I am really angry at him and tell him to leave, as soon as he heads for the door I start panicking and begging him to stay.

Ive broken up with him 4 times and each time ive begged for him back within 5 minutes.

It is basically the same with my friends but I try and hold my feelings in until they leave...

Sorry about the long post but its really bad this week cos my family has gone away and left me alone for a few weeks and im going crazy... I really cant handle this feeling when im alone... My boyfriend is refusing to come over and ive started just going out with ppl I would never usually see just to avoid being alone.

How can I make myself not care about people leaving me. I cant handle it anymore
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dhiggins3
replied on January 3rd, 2005
New User
You Can Do Something About This

this really works. The purpose of our group is to alleviate fear on the
planet. With less fear we might as a world, make better decisions, this cd
is using some of the most effective modalities around. It works. We are
trying to help people who can't go to a therapist. Check out the website thanks
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bd1012
replied on January 3rd, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
I kind of used to be like that.. It was more out of boredom than fear but then I just learned to enjoy being alone.... First of all you need to ask why you feel this way.. Are you afraid you will die if you are alone or are you bored to death? If its' out of boredom than all you have to do is think of things that you do that take up time when you are not alone. Read a good book.. Time goes by fast when you are engrossed in a book.. Listen to some music..Take a walk outside and enjoy the fresh air.. Maybe do some housework... Being alone can be a great thing once you get over your fear.. Don't have to worry about people being too loud or hogging the computer.. You can do whatever you want. If you are truly afraid that someone is going to hurt you or you will die.. You have to ask why.. Once you get to the root of what is causing this.. Then you can move further ahead but right now.. If you keep on begging people to stay.. They are not going to be around and you will be truly alone.. People don't like to feel chained down and soon you yourself will get tired of it when someone wants to go somewhere but all you want to do it stay home and relax but you cant' because your scared to be alone.
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jurplesman
replied on January 18th, 2005
Experienced User
Hello baby cake,

it is good you realize that there is something irrational going on with you. Most people assume that the way you think and acts and feel are the causes of your experiences, but in reality these psychological experiences are due to an underlying metabolic disorder over which you have no conscious control.


If you go to our web site and test yourself with the nbi - a paper-and-pencil test - you should be able to test the possibility of you having a hypoglycemic condition, that may be responsible for your awful feelings.
Go to our web site and search for �nbi�.


If you score high it is likely you have hypoglycemic condition and the non-drug treatment for this is going on a hypoglycemic diet.


Please read:

�what is hypoglycemia?�

�the serotonin connection�

�the hypoglycemic diet�

�beating anxiety�

once you go on a hypoglycemic diet you will start to feel better in about 2-8 weeks time.


You can also do the self-help psychotherapy course (free of charge) which will help you to improve your self-image.


You can do these courses on your own, or with the help of a friend, or therapist.


Jurriaan plesman
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bbak
replied on February 13th, 2005
New User
I have dealt with similar things, and still do to a point to this day.
I used to say that my biggest fear was of being alone.
One of the things that helped me was to identify why. What does being alone signify to you? What is it about being alone that scares you?
For me it was many things, and more complex than just a "fear of lonliness", I was afraid of being unloved, of being rejected, of being unprotected. I felt frail and weak most of the time. And I had crazy thoughts a lot, a part of me just didn't want to be alone with my own thoughts, I wanted someone else there to drown it out. Does anything sound familiar?
I still have anxiety attacks every so often, always when i'm alone. I am a wife and mother now, but if I wake up in bed alone at night I am terrified.
The difference now is that I know the reasons behind it. I know that i'm not crazy, I know I will survive it, I know that I can be strong enough. When I feel a panic coming on, instead of letting it take over, I see it for what it is. I tell myself that i'm in control, that the threat is imagined, and nothing will happen to me. I literally have to talk myself out of it, but I usually calm down fairly fast now.
Another thing that I find helps, is the illusion of company I guess you could call it. Put on some background noise, music, tv, whatever. Look for something to do that will keep your mind (and preferrably hands) occupied. Read a book, bake some cookies, work on a hobby. Enjoy your own company.
I am concerned that you may be suffering severe depression/anxiety disorder or something of the like. You should go back to your doctor and work this through, not only for your own well-being, but for those around you. This behavior is counter-productive, and those people who you are clinging to so desparately will reach their limit eventually.
I know how you feel, i've been there. And you've come here for some help, which is a great start. Take it one step further and work it out with a professional, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Take care.
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Gilly
replied on June 30th, 2005
New User
Metal Condition Being Alone Phobia
Yes indeed I have terrible troublebeing aloneor even superfluous I have a family hubs and grown up kids but they are always getting on with thier own lives. And I never can. I have bipolar disorder but this particular problem doesnt always come into that catagory - though it may for some.
T themoment the risk of my being laoneis increasing daily and people only comeup with practical answers which I cannot act upon when feeling panicked. For one thing motivations seriously absent when people are so how do you do anything??? To distract you.
I also have a problems about friends going, and my daughter going away at weekend ( not she doesnt but she is moving out she is 20) huns is always 'busy either elsewhere or non comunicative but here. I get very vey desperate I have toldhim that is people cant realise how bad it is I will either run or worse! What can you do>> hypoglycemia!! Dont belive that because I have that dont se how it cant make you get infantile dependancies. Gilly
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Goblet6
replied on August 20th, 2007
New User
Lonliness Driving One Crazy
I've been lonely since my parents died. I used to take care of them in their retirement years and now without them I don't have anyone to live for. I'm not into exercise. Every day is getting to be the same. Sure the news on television is different and the new programs show promise. Activity day to day is humdrum and I have no social skills at all. To the young lady who was at wits end with her boy friend (Baby-cakes) be glad there is someone in your life and do whatever it takes to keep him or someone in your life. When you don't have a significant other to bounce the bad off of you will go crazy. I just wish I knew what to do. Question
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sunshine51
replied on July 28th, 2008
New User
serotonin and alone
anyone
what is the serotonin connection ??????
I'M disablity and am alone all day, it is hard pushiing my self to do things i really need structure i keep telling my self i'll start tomorrow but never do I DON'T know what to do TO GET MYSELF OUT of this rut the work is there for me to do but i just don't i fill my days with little shitting things laundry cleaning the house and i tell mysellf i haven't done those well enough to suit me i'm a perfectionest i'll work all day putting something together and make sure all the parts are where they aer supose to be the color is just right it must feel good or i'll start over again from the beginning and that is where i get lost , what can i do ????/
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mska
replied on March 25th, 2009
New User
Yes You can live a normal life
There is nothing to be ashambed of by having a mental illness (brain disorder) There is help. You don't need to kill yourself life can be better. Medicene and therapy can help and their is a support group you can go to to bewith other people like you that helped me ALOT. Where and when the supports groups are are on NAMI.org
National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. You are not alone. I used to feel like you. Please try these 3 things. Never give up it's worth the fight
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autumnrose1962
replied on April 18th, 2009
New User
I hate being alone
Tonight is another one of those nights when I will be home alone. Two of my children are grown and have moved away and I seldom see or hear from them. My son will soon be 18 and this terrifies me that he will leave also and I will not hear from him. I am bipolar 1 and stable on medication. My husband works two jobs-one 7 nights a week delivering food at a bar and he likes to stay out late there without me. My son is very kind but he need to have a social life and time with his friends and he is going overnight to a party (a clean party-he is not into drugs or alcohol and is not dating anyone). I do alot of crafts and have alot of housework but I cannot find even a part time job because of my past work history before I was stable. When my husband is home, he watches TV or plays on the computer. He is not there for me. Most of the time when he has free time he is off doing things with his bar friends. I cannot handle this. I have tried divorcing him twice and I had the kids both times but I could not make it financially. I had more friends when I was separated than when I am with him. I used to go shopping to fill the time but we cannot afford that now plus I tend to be a pack rat. Why am I this way?
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