Your friend is, by definition, bisexual. I wouldn't be surprised if he is more gay than straight but he's afraid to admit it to himself because of internalized homophobia. Or he could lean toward the hetero side of the spectrum and feel ashamed of his homoerotic desires.

Either way, he has to come to terms with his sexuality in his own way and in his own time. I suggest being honest with him about your feelings while at the same time respecting his right and need to come to his own decisions.

While such direct communication might lead to the cessation of your sexual intimacies, much better to be honest and open the door to an even richer, more meaningful friendship than to relate with each other as if parts of each of you don't exist. Plus, if it turns out he is gay you will have helped him tremendously by modeling self-acceptance and you could be laying the foundation for a beautiful romantic relationship.


I hope this helps.

Mark worthen, psy.D.

P.S. By offering this advice I am not establishing a professional relationship with you or any reader of this post. I encourage you to seek professional counseling in your community if you are concerned about depression or any other psychological challenges. Just make sure you see a gay-affirmative therapist. That may seem obvious but many gay and lesbian people see any therapist and a good number of mental health professionals are homophobic. You have a right to ask, "do you practice gay-affirmative psychotherapy?"

Hello I am strait...But once upon a time I had a major crush on my guy friend who is gay. We hung out all the time, we kissed a couple of times (drunk) and then he decided to confess to me he was gay.. We remained friends but it was really hard for me because I liked him alot.

I think that you should back off. Especially because he is in a relationship.

I'm in this exact situation. Only now he doesn't have a girlfriend. We're super close. He says that if he were gay I'd be "the One", but he's straight, like he doesn't "check out guys when walking down the street". He also told me that I'm the only guy he'd ever go all the way with. Which we have, several times.

It's confusing, he's says he's straight but like he just does so many things that tell me otherwise. He's always texting good morning, or asking how I am, putting his arm around me while watching movies, hugging, giving back rubs, etc. We've also done everything, sexually. It makes no sense.

Rickymex and Ananas
He's bisexual, he goes both ways, you know this stuff. You have an emotional attachment so you want to identify him as Gay or Straight so you'll know what to do. Odds are he will continue on just the same, maybe swing one way or the other as he goes through life but he will always find an attraction to both men and women. If you like the sex and you can respect his sexual preference just enjoy his company. If you feel you need more find a boy that is sexually available to you as a gay man.

Rickymex stop messing around in other people's relationships. Nothing good will come of it for you in the long run.

thats the truth!!

I would say bisexual. And I highly recommend backing off on the intimate moments, it will only breed trouble in the end.