There are different extremities of bipolar disorder. Some are very extreme cases and some are not as extreme

This is bittersweet... it feels SO good to read these posts knowing I am not alone. My friends and family do not understand and I do feel like I have no one to talk to. It is very comforting to see how everything I have been going through is completely understood by all of you... I couldn't describe what has been happening to me any better than what I already see here.

Yet, at the same time, it scares me and makes me feel hopeless. I have been trying so hard to be patient and understanding and I have come to terms with the fact that this isn't going to be a "normal" relationship... but sometimes, like now, I am left alone crying and I really do wonder if I am strong enough to endure all of the heartache that comes with it. And I have always considered myself a strong person who has always been in control.

I know I'm on the losing end either way. I don't want to leave him and I know it will be very painful if I do. But if it doesn't get better I just don't think I will be able to spend a lifetime this way and if I wait too long I will hurt even more...

I cannot offer any advice now, I am having one of those confused days where I just don't know what to do anymore. I just wanted to thank everyone for posting. You all sound like beautiful people and don't let him make you feel otherwise.

i don't know what to do! i'm only 16 and i just found out my boyfriend who is 17 has a bipolar disorder. We've only been dating for about four months, and we've been having such a great time... Until about 2 weeks ago. I kept getting bad vibes from him and he just didn't want to talk about what was going on. It's his first "low" i guess since we've been together and I really don't know what to do. He does not want to talk about his disorder whatsoever and was very reluctant to even tell me he had it. In fact, I only just found out about an hour ago... after we decided to "take a break". Now that I realize what's going on, I really do NOT want to take a break. He's so great, and when he's feeling alright we're fantastic together. I just want to be there for him during his lows, but he's only been avoiding me, and withdrawing. and when we do speak he treats me horribly! Is it wrong for me to want to be with him? I know he'll pull out of it eventually right? and then things will go back to normal? I don't even know how to act around him when he's this bad. Do i go over and see him unexpectedly? or just let him sulk all day? I know I definitely don't want to break it off just yet, but if I do should I feel guilty? This is so confusing, I am so new at this, and he just won't talk to me about it! Should I let his behavious slide during these lows? or can it even be blamed on them? Oh and also, he's refusing to take his pills, for some reason that has yet to be revealed. I love being around this boy, and I know it could turn into something great, if I just knew what to expect and how to handle it. PLEASE HELP! I'm young and desperate.

I truely understand everything. My fiance is bipolar and he is so loving and sweet but when he's having a manic attack its so difficult to be with him. He lies to me and accuses me of things that I wouldnt accuse my worst enemy. I am torn. I dont know if I can continue on. I love him sooo much. I pray daily so that God would cure him.

I just had a relationship with a bi-polar man. It is alot of work. I was constantly accused of things I did not do, so much to the point that I would find I was always defending myself. He said things in hopes that I would hate him in order to leave the relationship alone. He sabbotaged it. He never ever took the blame for any wrongdoings it was always my fault. Finally he said he cannot deal with this anymore and left me alone. I am sure it was for the best.

For the first time, I am researching my boyfriend's bipolar episodes and I can relate to almost everyone. His behaviors are the same...he is a loving passionate person one minute, and then ten minutes later I am sitting with my mouth to the ground saying "are you serious...is this a joke?". He talks crap about my job and family and the food I like to eat....etc...it is crazy!...he is on Lamictal and seeing a doc but it's not helping too much. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the best bet, but the most difficult thing to get men to participate in.

I have a minor in psychology and I truely understand this disorder. I agree with the other girl that said it is a lot of work because she is not lying! I have unconditional love for my boyfriend of 3 years, so I have been able to help him through. I would not recommend doing it unless you are trained or have a support group. I still don't know if we will last.

Just 2 days ago, a girl from his work place called at midnight and I answered the phone...I know her... and all I did was ask him to call her back to see what she wanted...he freaked and wrecked the closet. The next day when I wanted to talk about it again when I got off work at 5pm (he works nights)and he called her and she apologized. He started throwing things at me and I will end there. I just do not have the heart to put him on the street. Maybe jail first. so now he is kissing my $%#@ and doing all of these nice gestures...I am sick of it and looking for a solution.

If anyone needs advice just let me know.

I am really thankful for all these posts...I find a lot of things which I am going through for the past 2 years. My BF and me are for about 3 years now. In the first year it was absolutely like everything I ever wished for. A bit of a gamer and pothead, but tolerable. After a while I started to get bored around him as all these stupid online dungeons and whatever became so much more important to him annd being stoned goal No.1 for the day.
I sat him down and made clear that I don't want that kind of relationship as I am a very active and social person. Slowly but surely he quit smoking pot and after a while stopped playing games. He found himself riding mountain bike tracks and playing squash becoming heaps more active. But at the same time he lost the feeling of being secluded and safe from the rest of the world. As a result he showed more and more of his bipolar disorder. It comes in sort of phases, but it is frequently almost every week that we have very bad fights. I am not very patient and since recently I didn't understand his behaviour at all(still don't really). I told him to go and get help and tried to explain to him how it feels to me. The problem is that he is not aware of it at all.
The other week we had a really bad fight and I called him later at work to clarify things we couldn't finish cause he had to leave. It was much better to talk to him on the phone. He finally opened up a little and told me that he can see a lot of parallels to the relationship with his ex-gf. She apparently changed from being a total sunshine sweetheart to a 'psycho' as he termed it. And that he misses my good mood and happiness, that I would turn more and more to a miserable 'psycho '. Nice. He does steel my positive site and makes me very thoughtful and serious. I don't like that at all. Especially cause I am at a stage in my life where I am finally doing what I passionately love and feel like I can't give 100% cause I am the whole time so busy with our relationship. It is just not at ease, everything seems to be so difficult. I was in a long-term relationship a few years ago, for over 8 years. It seems that we were just to young when it started and for some reason we cheated on each other and didn't find us again. But that relationship was so good, so happy, so easy...I took that for granted as long as you find someone you love. I never imagined that love can be this hard. And I get so sad, because it wasn't that hard from the beginning. It feels like I messed a page open of his soul which gives him all the swings of moods. Before me he had them cornered and controlled with drugs and games. Did I do any good to him? Not sure where to start with him to get him on meds or bring him to therapy. I feel so lonely with this. He denies that he has got issues, it's all me, all my fault. But I am so happy how life changed for me in the past months, I don't think that it is me. At least I am starting to realize that he is always blaming every fight and argument on me, but I think it's not. It's horrible how much power he has over my mind and how much he can mess with my head. I just want to be happy and easy. Am I wasting my time? Lovely people out there, what can I do to make him realize that he needs help?!

I have been together with my boyfriend for six years. Obviously our relationship is nothing but amazing and great, but in the last two years or so, he has brought to my attention that he may think he is bipolar. After reading all of these posts on bipolar, I believe it is true. If i say one wrong thing that he doesn't like, he gets all mad and won't talk to me for the rest of the day/night. He says hateful and mean things to me like the rest of you have claimed. I told him that if he thinks he is bipolar to go see a doctor, but his excuse is " I am not telling somebody I don't know my problems and do not want to be put on meds ". He tells me that I need to help him out with his disorder by not saying "stupid" things, and making him angry. We can go months without fighting or arguing and be happy and okay, but if one thing comes up wrong that is said, its horrible for days sometimes even weeks. I am a person who worries a lot when I feel like i don't receive the attention I should, or i do receive the attention and the next week its not there. Im very concerned for our future and to even move out with him if its going to be like this. He has a lot of insecurities and trust issues, but blames for being that way when Im not. The only time i bring stuff up is when he accuses me. I am not sure what to do or how to get him to see a doctor. I want things to get better for us, and i feel if i just try to watch what i say it will stay ok, but i also am human and have my "bad days" where i want to be left alone. I hope somebody can help and reply to this, because it would be greatly appreciated..

Hey, Like eveyone esle has said, Im so happy im not alone in this. I honestly thought I was the only one going through what I was going through.. Now, my boyfriend is definitly not as worse as alot of your stories, for example he doesnt hit me, or call me names or anything like that. He mostly ignores me when he gets in his moods, and sometimes I think its because he knows he will rage on me and he doesnt want to do that, so he just ignores that fact that Im even there. Like a few of you had said, when we have our good days, they're really good, but when we have our bad days, they're really bad. He often punches walls and furniture when something bothers him, and if theres nothing around for him to punch, then he will often hit himself. The littlest and smallest things tick him off the most.
He says he loves me and all of that mushy stuf, and I do believe him. I just often forget when hes loosing his cool and yelling. I can always tell when he gets in one of those moods because he grinds his teeth and breathes extremley heavily. And unlike from what Ive read from all of you, he is better at keeping his cool a little bit better than alot of yours do. So for that I am thankful. Its just extremley hard when I do not know what to say or do when he becomes so angry it makes it almost impossible for him to function. PLEASE HELP!