My Boyfriend Is Bipolar, I'm Feeling Torn

Has anyone else noticed how many of these posts sound as if we've become nurses? I was with my BP boyfriend for 5 months but had a very close friendship for a year before we started dating. I feel like a bipolar expert. I've read all the books, constantly research online, know all the current treatments, have gone with him to the doctors, helped him switch to better meds (first he was on no meds at all). I have "coached" him on how to deal with day to day stress when his mind is always pulling him in negative directions. I thought if I could help him to be as healthy as he could be he could finally be happy and feel safe and secure.
He would tell me all the time that I was the best thing for him. That I helped him more than anyone ever had before and I made him feel safe and loved. So now after all this time he finally has the confidence and stability to move on and start his new relationship with a woman he is more physically attracted to. Evidentally he has learned a lot about being a better boyfriend because things seem to be going very well.
I'm such an ass. I've not only lost my boyfriend but my very best friend and have never felt so betrayed.
I should have seen it all coming because I've never read a bipolar relationship story with a happy ending. I believe his new girlfriend is a decent (and must be patient) woman and I'm sure it's just a matter of time before he breaks her heart too. I'm sure that will be after he slowly makes her feel fat and ugly and unattractive.
But here I am still "reading up", trying to find someones happy ending to see if I can ever have hope of getting back to our happy times. I'm an intelligent and decently attractive woman who has so much to offer. I never thought I'd act like such a looser.
I think his mental illness has messed up my mind and I'm thankful that I've had enough strength to break off all communication with him. He says he misses me so much and needs our friendship. "I'm the only one who ever really understood and accepted his whole self". Not knowing what he's doing or how he is has been like loosing a piece of myself. I need to find my sanity again and remember that I love myself and deserve to be loved by someone who I can count on and who will treat me with respect. Please pray for me.

I know how you feel . I am a GF of someone that is bipolar . I have been through the proscutory accusations of him thinking i am cheating on him with his own nephew bit . I have not but that all goes with the territory it seems with the mood swings . I have been with him since May of 07 . I guess now i am not there with as much on a daily basis
i miss a lot of that . You see we met online and i travel there too see him . We live 4 hours apart and hope to be together in the fall of 2009 . I see a lot of things that you have mentioned with your partner .

Best Things to Say
...to a person with bipolar disorder
Supporting Someone with Bipolar - For Family and Friends
Clichés and platitudes usually aren't much help to someone who is depressed. Being depressed is not the same thing as just being sad about something. This list, compiled from a Usenet group, offers some useful statements you can make to a friend or loved one who is depressed.
It is most tempting, when you find out someone is depressed, to attempt to immediately fix the problem. However, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist, (as a friend or professional), the following responses are more likely to help. Acknowledge the depression for what it is, and give permission for them to feel depressed.
"I love you"
"I care"
"You're not alone in this"
"I'm not going to leave/abandon you"
"Do you want a hug?"
"You are important to me"
"If you need a friend..."
"It will pass, we can ride it out together"
"When all this is over, I'll still be here"
"You have so many extraordinary gifts - how can you expect to live an ordinary life?"
"I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me"
"I listen to you talk about it, and I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine how hard it must be"
"I can't really fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion"
"I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I care about you and care that you are hurting"
"I'll be your friend no matter what"
"I cannot understand the pain you're in, I cannot feel it. But hold onto my hand while you walk through this storm, and I'll do my very best to keep you from slipping away"
"I'm never going to say, 'I know how you feel' unless I truly do, but if I can do anything to help, I will"







Worst Things to Say
...to a person with bipolar disorder
Supporting Someone with Bipolar - For Family and Friends
Some people trivialize depression (often unintentionally) by dropping a platitude on a depressed person as if that is the one thing they needed to hear. While some of these thoughts have been helpful to some people (for example, some people find that praying is very helpful), the context in which they are often said mitigates any intended benefit to the hearer. Platitudes don't cure depression.
"What's your problem?"
Will you stop that constant whining?"
What makes you think that anyone cares?"
"Have you gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff?"
"You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear"
"But it's all in your mind"
"I thought you were stronger than that"
"No one ever said life was fair"
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
"Why don't you just grow up?"
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself"
"There are a lot of people worse off than you"
"You have it so good - why aren't you happy?"
"What do you have to be depressed about?"
"You think you've got problems..."
"Well at least it's not that bad"
"Lighten up"
"You should get off all those pills"
"You are what you think"
"Cheer up"
"You're always feeling sorry for yourself"
"Why can't you just be normal?"
"You need to get out more"
"Get a grip"
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"
"Get a job"
"You don't 'look' depressed"
"You're just looking for attention"
"Everybody has a bad day now and then"
"Why don't you smile more?"
"A person your age should be having the time of their life"
"The only one you're hurting is yourself"
"You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it"
"Depression is a symptom of your sin against God"
"You brought this on yourself"
"Get off your rear and do something"
"Snap out of it"
"You're always worried about your problems"
"Just don't think about it"
"Go out and have some fun"
"Just try a little harder"
"I know how you feel - I was depressed once for several days"
"You'd feel better if you went to church"
"caca or get off the pot"
"What you need is some real tragedy in your life to give you perspective"
"This too shall pass"
"Go out and get some fresh air"
"We all have our cross to bear"
"You don't like feeling that way? So change it"
"You're a real downer to be around"
"You are embarrassing me"
"You'd feel better if you lost some weight"
"You're too hard on yourself. Quit being such a perfectionist"
"Don't take it out on everyone else around you"
"You are going to lose a lot of friends if you don't snap out of this"
"You're dragging me down with you"
"You're just being immature"
"You are your own worst enemy"
"That is life - get used to it"
"My life isn't fun either"
"You don't care about the rest of us - you're so self-absorbed"

i have seen these tips thanks for sharing