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My Boyfriend Is Bipolar, I'm Feeling Torn (Page 1)

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Hi, I am thankful for this board, I needed to express my feelings this morning,

my boyfriend has bipolar disorder, we have been dating for a year and a half, the first year was great, I honestly did not notice anything
( I never knew much about bipolar before him) then...


Since this summer, I noticed. It is a severe emotional rollarcoaster.

I am stressed out. I love him, and when I don't talk to him, see him for days, I miss him.

I am in love with him, I love his friendship, he is so smart and knows a little of just about everything, he is a good friend to have forever in that respect...


Ugh, I don't know what to do! I am starting to get really down myself
he says he loves me one moment, gives me flowers, draws a lavender bath, massages me fantastic for 45 mintues, etc
and then later, he will be raising his voice, thinking I cheated on him( I never did) ugh

he thought I cheated on him because I smelled different, later I learned I had a piece of a broken condom in me, from him, ( I know, gross)
or another time, I had bacterial vaginosis, and that is not std related my dr said.


He has done strange things, but always has an excuse for it
and it always starts with me. I am a good person, I really am
and he has got me, in the sense, that he is playing games with my mind now, I let him affect my self esteem over a period of time

i never been in a relationship that was not so healthy for me... Crying or Very sad

ugh, he has bipolar disorder two, I don't know what that is
but I guess that is why he is so moody, raises his voice, seems to be mad at me about something weekly.

When things are good, oh my god, it is so good,

how do you deal with a boyfriend that has this mood disorder and you love him, and love his friendship...


Christmas and new years is coming up, I don't feel like being without him
yet.


Any comments would be so appreciated, thank you all!!! Smile
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First Helper amoore
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Users who thank shanti1 for this post: joeeeeee  helper123  MarieC20 

replied August 30th, 2005
Re: My Boyfriend Is Bipolar, I'm Feeling Torn
Hi,

i am kind of in the same situation, the thing is the guy I am seeing has bipolar and he uses this as an excuse not to commit to me, im in the same sitiuation as you in the sense that when things are good they are good, he is lovely and pays me lots of attention but then when he goes into an episode I wont hear from him for days and then when I go to his house he is saying he is to tired beacuse of the amount of work he has on then I will try (for the hundreth time) to have the 'us' conversation, he just says because of his bipolar he is unable to make a descion..
I have found that researching bipolar in depth it has givin me the chance to talk him about it, site can give you advice on how to tackle talking to your partner and aslo the sites have givin me an insite as to how his mind is working and I found lots of useful things that have helped me in the sense that I can understand why he does and says the things he does which aee hurtful or out of the blue,
i would type bipolar into google or go to the library and do some reasearch it does help
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replied April 5th, 2011
Wow i dont feel alone anymore
my boyfriend well ex but we are still together. we broke up because we kept arguing and he would go through that episode where he would just dissapear. everytime he would go missing, it would make me soo sad and confused.i didnt realize that, that was part of the disorder. at first our relationship was amazing he was the sweetest guy ive ever been with and hes so smart and funny. i can honestly say i love him. he was always there for me. also he would call me at 2 or 3 in the morning because he has was going through that episode where he couldnt sleep at all, i think its called hypomania and i would stay up with him to talk to him ofcourse. and towards the morning he would want to pick me up and take me out. i didnt understand why he was so energized. i thought maybe it was because of his aderal pills he takes for his a.d.d. ...a month later he suddenly dissapeard and i didnt know what was going on and finally i called him and asked where have u been?? and he just replied working. i explained to him that he cant be doing that to me because it hurt me and he apologized and everything. after that we started to argue more, he would snap at me and yelll. he would hang up on me when he would get mad, so i would call him repeatedly till he would pick up then he would yell at me even more. he would act soo angry and tell me that i piss him off half the time were together. and he would say that im stupid and that we cant be together because its not right. after hhim saying all that stuff to me, i couldnt take it anymore i told him nicely "i have been nothing but good and patient to you i dont desrve this. i have so much respect for you and i cant believe you would say this to me" and he quickly apologized and begged me to not be mad or sad. and told me he loves me. i felt like no this isnt love. because you dont treat or say stuff like that. he would always tell me " you dont wanna deal with me im just going to hurt you" i always insisted telling him i love you i want to be with you i dont care after that he started calling me more and everything was getting better. but it seems like everytime it gets better. one little thing can mess it up so easy. i finally thought it was time for me to research this "bipolar disorder" as i read it just related to everything he would do. it hurt me so much that he has to go through all of this. i want to call him right now and tell him i love him and that im here for him because no human being in this world deserves to go through that. i love my ex and im going to help him. no matter what.
we all just need to stay strong for the person we really love
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Users who thank healthycarrot for this post: shakespearegrl 

replied December 4th, 2011
Hey girls! I been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. Somethings really wrong with him. I dont know what to do, i read this while googling what can i do to help him an i can actually related. I love my boyfriend a lot but on to of also thinking im cheating his just beyond negative. He doesnt talk to me for months and than i text him and he says he doesnt trust me and i just i dont know what to do. I just finished talking to him and told him he could use some pro help bcuz we're talking bout something good and he suddenly starts talking about wanting to get beat up or stabbed. Also i work and he is in collage. I work a lot and if he texts me and im pretty busy and reply late he asumes im doing something bad. He also gives me 30 secs to answer my phone. He jst called me back talking normal like nothing happened. I dont know what to do. He is mot diagnosed as bipola but i know he is.
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replied December 10th, 2011
Experienced User
he needs a diagnosis and some help so you two stand a chance in a relationship.-without it life with hem will be so hard. just saying the truth. good luck
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replied January 17th, 2012
healthycarrot!!!!
it takes an amazing person with a strong will to stand by someone with bipolar i have bipolar 1 which is the worst and i have a man that has gone through my severe episodes which can get very violent to the depression episodes and as much as i push him away tell him to leave because he dont deserve this fast moving changing roller coaster ride the closer he gets to me the stronger he holds on to me telling me he will stay by my side no matter what. we have only been together 8 months but he has been more then i could ever ask for. he sstarted out thinking bipolar was fake until i gave him sites to read and seeing it first hand completely changed that way of thinking...your a special person just stay strong and keep on loving him and making sure he knows that because he may not act like it because of his episodes but im pretty sure he loves you just as much and has alot of respect for you for being there.
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replied September 15th, 2011
Wow!Me and you both!I never knew my man was bipolar, so when he broke up with me randomly, and started acting god awfully confusing, I jumped to so many conclusions. It was a terror and stressed me out because i'm the kind to constantly worry about the smallest of things. First I thought he never liked me, and was playing me. Then I thought he was using me, or he was unsure of what he wanted/afraid of commitment. This makes total sense now, as his best friend recently told me he was bipolar. Every day is something new... One day it's "I love you, dear." the next it's "God, you always worry about everything, it's irritating."
You never know what tomorrow will be like.
I really need to find a way to deal with him and whatnot, if i'm going to live around him. haha, thanks for posting this!
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replied April 20th, 2012
bi polar boyfriend.
I also have a bi polar bf. I am writing in here because I just have to get it out! He can be so wonderful at times and other times he thinks I am glaring at him when I am looking at him because he is talking. he thinks I am screaming when I am irritated and I am not. He has been committed before and I tried to help him and stand by him. It back fired! Now he believes I am the cause of him being committed but we were not seeing each other at that time. His family did it! I didnt even know he went crazy. He lost his son who is nonverbal autistic but he knows everything going on around him. Defacs brought him to my house and asked me to take him. I did. I couldnt keep him as much as it hurt. I was trying to find a job and I was broke. He is now in foster care. I know for a fact his father loves him but he is safer where he is until his father takes his meds. I took his father back and now I regret it more then anything. I LOVE HIM but I am afraid he is going to kill me. He says he will. He has started hitting me lately. Out of the blue he will get in my face and say I am in his face...he has put finger print bruises on my neck, face, arms....ect. I am scared to call police because of his threats and I believe him. I just want him to leave. He is an angry man! bad thing is he justifies what he does. He has people believing him. He is VERY smart I mean very smart. He can break me down and I end up questioning myself. I started drinking in my room when he was asleep just for some numbness but that is no good. He sleeps most of the time on the couch. I dont want to turn to alcohol. I just want the stress of being with him gone! I want a life! I want my own life back! I have been consumed by him and I want out of his thick black smoke before it kills me. I have to watch everything I say or do because I don't want to be blamed or be the cause of his actions. He does this and I havnt told anyone till lately. I felt it would change...it is never gonna stop...it will only be dormant for a while. It hurts because he does get confused by his actions once he snaps out of it and some how I end up feeling sorry for him...
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replied July 29th, 2012
Please help me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and friends for four years before that. I fell in love with him while I was in the hospital with him exactly a year ago for a manic episode. When we began dating everything was Perfect and we were the couple that everyone was envious of because we were so in love. The thing is, when he would get mad about even the smallest thing he would get SO mad and not talk to me for three or more days. This started happening more and more recently because he quit his job and has been at home a lot. Alcohol instigates mania sometimes. On Friday we went to the brew fest and started fighting. When we got back to his house he told me he doesn't love me anymore and that I need to leave. I was curled up on the couch sobbing and couldn't drive. He warned me he was going to call the cops On me and eventually did. He told them he was afraid his ex girlfriend (me) was going to hurt him which couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm five foot two and like one hundre ten lbs. I left his house because I was panicking and got pulled over by the cops he called . I blew .09 and got a DUI and was in jail all night. I feel like I can't believe the person who said he loved me so much did this to me. I have blocked his number from my
Phone and deleted every picture of us. I feel like my heart has been shattered and I feel like my best friend just died. He takes celexa for depression but doesn't think he needs help for his bipolar. I just feel sick about the way he is going to feel once he realizes he has lost me. Please help me you guys. Please help.
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replied May 15th, 2012
Hi, I am bipolar. I am in a relationship that is very difficult sometimes due to my condition. Manic episodes are triggered and sometimes in-avoidable, however they can be controlled. First, I should ask, is he one medication? If he is non med-compliant episodes are more likely to occur. Research is your best bet on understanding bipolar but will still never guaranty your success on getting through to him. Being bipolar shields emotions and hides a lot of regret, which is why medicine is so important! It sounds to me that he is able to control his life in ways such as holding a job so his emotions aren't hopeless. In my experience, when my boyfriend of 6 six years, states that I don't care about his feelings or that I change from my personality to another I simply can avoid blowing up on him by getting away from him. Bipolar individuals like to pretend they are normal or make excuses for their behavior. "We" stay very confused and embarrassed most of the time and only want to feel important without being pittied. Research and patients will be your best bet although sometimes it takes walking away to make someone bipolar "feel" regret for their actions and make them work harder to fix their problems. If he loves you, he will try. Bipolar people can't stand heartfelt conversations so be to the point with him because, as you stated, he is very intelligent. I hope this has helped. Feel free to email me if you have any concerns that you feel I can help you with. Hope you have a great day!
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replied October 11th, 2012
I am in a relationship with a bipolar for 9 months now. It was nothing but good...but past one month or so,things changed completely, he started having his mood swings, was irritable, agitated, lost interest in sex, didn't want to go out anywhere, isolate himself in a dark room, he also didn't like any kind of sounds around him. Finally, he told me he is a Bipolar, I was very confusing and baffling and finally he left after a small argument. He kissed me before he left and told me it was over between us. We were planning engagement this December and marriage next year. I don't know what to make of this, was it his condition that caused it? will be be back?

I am really in a state of shock!!
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replied April 30th, 2013
Hi, I am currently in my first relationship ( which can also be counted as my 2nd and 3rd) I say this because the only person I have been in a relationship with is my bipolar boyfriend of 20 years old. We have been together for a year and three months. I've tried breaking up with him twice to see if he would finally get the point that his actions were not appropriate. It broke my heart and I felt awful. I've let him touch me, because I new it made him happy, and told myself it was okay. This ate at me and caused me to break up with him for the first time. I understand about his condition, seeing as I have also been under a lot of medical surveillance myself. However, I just don't know what to do. I believe that he has entered another twist on his roller coaster, because when I was out with friends he yelled at me for being out without telling him. Later, it occurred to him that he never told me that he had plans for us that night. I am torn to pieces. I've tried waiting it out, but it hurts so so bad. Sometimes I tell myself that it is just because of his age and because of the fact that he is still a virgin, so he is horny and extra emotional. He has never struck me, but sometimes I find myself ready to flinch away from him and protect myself. I've come to expect another whorl in his emotions about every 4-6 months, but he is still unstable between the more severe episodes. I still see small pieces in him, of what I fell in love with. But as time goes on, I see that piece of him becoming more clouded. I'm lost....
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replied April 30th, 2013
Hi, I am currently in my first relationship ( which can also be counted as my 2nd and 3rd) I say this because the only person I have been in a relationship with is my bipolar boyfriend of 20 years old. We have been together for a year and three months. I've tried breaking up with him twice to see if he would finally get the point that his actions were not appropriate. It broke my heart and I felt awful. I've let him touch me, because I new it made him happy, and told myself it was okay. This ate at me and caused me to break up with him for the first time. I understand about his condition, seeing as I have also been under a lot of medical surveillance myself. However, I just don't know what to do. I believe that he has entered another twist on his roller coaster, because when I was out with friends he yelled at me for being out without telling him. Later, it occurred to him that he never told me that he had plans for us that night. I am torn to pieces. I've tried waiting it out, but it hurts so so bad. Sometimes I tell myself that it is just because of his age and because of the fact that he is still a virgin, so he is horny and extra emotional. He has never struck me, but sometimes I find myself ready to flinch away from him and protect myself. I've come to expect another whorl in his emotions about every 4-6 months, but he is still unstable between the more severe episodes. I still see small pieces in him, of what I fell in love with. But as time goes on, I see that piece of him becoming more clouded. I'm lost....
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replied April 30th, 2013
Hi, I am currently in my first relationship ( which can also be counted as my 2nd and 3rd) I say this because the only person I have been in a relationship with is my bipolar boyfriend of 20 years old. We have been together for a year and three months. I've tried breaking up with him twice to see if he would finally get the point that his actions were not appropriate. It broke my heart and I felt awful. I've let him touch me, because I new it made him happy, and told myself it was okay. This ate at me and caused me to break up with him for the first time. I understand about his condition, seeing as I have also been under a lot of medical surveillance myself. However, I just don't know what to do. I believe that he has entered another twist on his roller coaster, because when I was out with friends he yelled at me for being out without telling him. Later, it occurred to him that he never told me that he had plans for us that night. I am torn to pieces. I've tried waiting it out, but it hurts so so bad. Sometimes I tell myself that it is just because of his age and because of the fact that he is still a virgin, so he is horny and extra emotional. He has never struck me, but sometimes I find myself ready to flinch away from him and protect myself. I've come to expect another whorl in his emotions about every 4-6 months, but he is still unstable between the more severe episodes. I still see small pieces in him, of what I fell in love with. But as time goes on, I see that piece of him becoming more clouded. I'm lost....
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replied May 15th, 2013
I see that it has been over a year since you posted this, but I want to know more about the bipolar disorder from someone who has it. I have been with my boyfriend for one and a half years now. He has broken up with me or threatened to break up with me several times during that time. I was actually the one who figured out what was wrong with him, even though he was getting some counseling. Counselor told him that he did not have bipolar and that he had character issues!! Goodness!!
This time was a little different then the other time he actually left. I did notice the change coming on a few days before. It is like his whole face changes and he seems to go, what I call, dark. I was use to it though. We even had went to the movies Saturday night. Sunday when we got up I knew he was really into his dark place. He barely spoke a word and said that he did not want me to cook breakfast, not typical. He said he had someone that was going to look at his truck that he was selling. He left and then came back in about an hour. He came into the apartment said nothing then he left. I was going to my mom and dads for Mother's day, when I went out to my car I saw him in the parking lot sitting in his truck. Just sitting... He, I think, was watching me. I left and was concerned the whole time, but tried not to think about it, but I knew when I got home he would be gone. I was right. He took all of his stuff and left the key, No nothing. He did not return texts or phone calls. Just disappeared, I think he moved in with one of his friends who just moved here, but I have no idea where that is. I think he also planned this for several days.
Now, most of the time that I have been with him I have done research on everything I could find about bipolar. I learned that he is possibly cyclothymic.
I want to know about it from the prospective of bipolar person. I know how I feel coping with the relationship. There is just not a lot coming at me from the angle of the bipolar person. That is very important to me! I don't know that he will ever come back to me or if he has moved on. But if he does, I want to be more prepared. He deserves to know what happiness is, just like everyone else! Why have to suffer so much!!?? I truly care about this guy!
I hope that you are still doing this forum and will be able to help me.
Thank you for reading my lengthy message. Probably too much information!!
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replied June 8th, 2013
Wow I'm glad I ran into this site, everything everyone on here is talking about is exactly what I'm going through, I love my boyfriend with all my heart, he is incarcerated as of 3 weeks ago for fraud accusation and I he just revealed to me this 14 page letter about his life and bipolar disorder court order by a judge, this past month June2013 was our 1 yr. being together and it has been one of the scariest roller coasters I've ever been on and never could understand why, until now the 14 page letter said it all
, now everything made sense, all the episodes mood swings missing for a day or 2, alcohol no return phone calls accusations etc. but I was already in love with him because he is a wonderful polite intellectual human being, now that I know I want to be here for him and help him because he needs me he is a human being I can not turn a blind eye on this man and live with myself we've been together a year just the 2 of us 24/7, I don't care what anyone says I love him and I wish if I had a problem someone would do the same for me...do you think I'm doing the right thing?
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replied October 17th, 2005
It Gets Better
My partner also lives with bipolar. And the hard days are really hard, I understand but I think you need to find out how long he has known he has bipolar because it would be a really hard thing to come to terms with when you realize your not always in control....And is he on his meds? You could ask to sit in on one of is counciling sessions... Incourage him to verbalise what he is feeling, keep an eye out for the signs of a episode so you are not caught unaware. It helped me to understand what he goes through and with understanding what he goes through I learnt to help him even if helping him is just sitting in the room with him so he knows your there and love him and are doing this with him. Alot of bipolar people can feel that they are unworthy, or something whcih is !**@!. I really thing talking to a phyc will help you help him.... Hope this helps
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replied December 10th, 2011
Experienced User
such sage advice..........wish i had seen this earlier.
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replied October 19th, 2005
Experienced User
Bipolar one is more mania with fewer depression.
Bipolar two is more depression with hypomania(a milder form of mania)

just give it time, things will get better. If you truely love him you two can work though things. May a therapist together may help.
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replied October 23rd, 2005
Bipolar Fiance
I love my fiance more than life itself,but I feel like the more I try to help the worse things get between us!!!He was diagnosed as bipolar at the age of 7! I just want to help ,but i'm not sure how!! :? I love everything about him,but I don't completely understand what bipolar is! I haven't since we've been together(1 1/2yrs)thought of leaving him once!Every time he is angry, even when it's focused directly at me,all I can think of is "how do I help without making him angrier" he means everything to me but sometimes i'm not sure he knows that! He often tells me"if you love me as much as you say than you wouldn't do the things I ask you not to!" he's threatened to leave me several times because I keep arguements going unintentionally ofcourse!!He says he loves me to much to put me through all of the stuff that goes along w/being his so!How do I make him see that I truely love him ,and that I beleive he is worth every second of difficulty!! If anyone can offer advice please help! I love him too much to lose him!!
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replied December 10th, 2011
Experienced User
that's a real tough one-I wish I knew the answer.hope by now you've found some answers-please post if you have.
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replied October 23rd, 2005
Experienced User
Re: Bipolar Fiance
sweetp wrote:
i love my fiance more than life itself,but I feel like the more I try to help the worse things get between us!!!He was diagnosed as bipolar at the age of 7! I just want to help ,but i'm not sure how!! :? I love everything about him,but I don't completely understand what bipolar is! I haven't since we've been together(1 1/2yrs)thought of leaving him once!Every time he is angry, even when it's focused directly at me,all I can think of is "how do I help without making him angrier" he means everything to me but sometimes i'm not sure he knows that! He often tells me"if you love me as much as you say than you wouldn't do the things I ask you not to!" he's threatened to leave me several times because I keep arguements going unintentionally ofcourse!!He says he loves me to much to put me through all of the stuff that goes along w/being his so!How do I make him see that I truely love him ,and that I beleive he is worth every second of difficulty!! If anyone can offer advice please help! I love him too much to lose him!!


he may of said he was going to leave you because at the time he may of been insercure and depressed. Geting anger and angier he may of been in a manic state. Make sure he keeps up with his doctors and therapist and takes his meds.. Bipolar disorder is the same thing as manic-depression. Bipolar is just the new name for it.


So bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, and ability to function. It's a illness/ (brain/mental) disorder because it's different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But there is good news: bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives.Bipolar disorder causes dramatic mood swings—from overly "high" and/or irritable to sad and hopeless, and then back again, often with periods of normal mood in between. Severe changes in energy and behavior go along with these changes in mood. The periods of highs and lows are called episodes of mania and depression

signs and symptoms of mania (or a manic episode) include:
increased energy, activity, and restlessness
excessively "high," overly good, euphoric mood
extreme irritability
racing thoughts and talking very fast, jumping from one idea to another
distractibility, can't concentrate well
little sleep needed
unrealistic beliefs in one's abilities and powers
poor judgment
spending sprees
a lasting period of behavior that is different from usual
increased sexual drive
abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and sleeping medications
provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behavior
denial that anything is wrong

how is a mania/manic diagnosed.

A manic episode is diagnosed if elevated mood occurs with three or more of the other symptoms most of the day, nearly every day, for 1 week or longer. If the mood is irritable, four additional symptoms must be present.



Signs and symptoms of depression (or a depressive episode) include:
lasting sad, anxious, or empty mood
feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, including sex
decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue or of being "slowed down"
difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
restlessness or irritability
sleeping too much, or can't sleep
change in appetite and/or unintended weight loss or gain
chronic pain or other persistent bodily symptoms that are not caused by physical illness or injury
thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts


a depressive episode is diagnosed if five or more of these symptoms last most of the day, nearly every day, for a period of 2 weeks or longer

sweetp.

Think of bipolar disorder aka manic-depression as a spectrum or continuous range. Like the north pole and south pool mania is the north pole,depression is the south pole. The equator(sp?) is leveled off, normalish not in depression or mania.At one end is severe depression, above which is moderate depression and then mild low mood, which many people call "the blues" when it is short-lived but is termed "dysthymia" when it is chronic. Then there is normal or balanced mood, above which comes hypomania (mild to moderate mania), and then severe mania.


A few words from bipolar people
descriptions offered by people with bipolar disorder give valuable insights into the various mood states associated with the illness:
depression: I doubt completely my ability to do anything well. It seems as though my mind has slowed down and burned out to the point of being virtually useless…. [i am] haunt[ed]… with the total, the desperate hopelessness of it all…. Others say, "it's only temporary, it will pass, you will get over it," but of course they haven't any idea of how I feel, although they are certain they do. If I can't feel, move, think or care, then what on earth is the point?


Hypomania: at first when i'm high, it's tremendous… ideas are fast… like shooting stars you follow until brighter ones appear…. All shyness disappears, the right words and gestures are suddenly there… uninteresting people, things become intensely interesting. Sensuality is pervasive, the desire to seduce and be seduced is irresistible. Your marrow is infused with unbelievable feelings of ease, power, well-being, omnipotence, euphoria… you can do anything… but, somewhere this changes.


Mania: the fast ideas become too fast and there are far too many… overwhelming confusion replaces clarity… you stop keeping up with it—memory goes. Infectious humor ceases to amuse. Your friends become frightened…. Everything is now against the grain… you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and trapped.


Suicide
some people with bipolar disorder become suicidal. Anyone who is thinking about committing suicide needs immediate attention, preferably from a mental health professional or a physician. Anyone who talks about suicide should be taken seriously. Risk for suicide appears to be higher earlier in the course of the illness. Therefore, recognizing bipolar disorder early and learning how best to manage it may decrease the risk of death by suicide.


Signs and symptoms that may accompany suicidal feelings include:

talking about feeling suicidal or wanting to die
feeling hopeless, that nothing will ever change or get better
feeling helpless, that nothing one does makes any difference
feeling like a burden to family and friends
abusing alcohol or drugs
putting affairs in order (e.G., organizing finances or giving away possessions to prepare for one's death)
writing a suicide note
putting oneself in harm's way, or in situations where there is a danger of being killed
if you are feeling suicidal or know someone who is:
call a doctor, emergency room, or 911 right away to get immediate help
make sure you, or the suicidal person, are not left alone
make sure that access is prevented to large amounts of medication, weapons, or other items that could be used for self-harm
while some suicide attempts are carefully planned over time, others are impulsive acts that have not been well thought out; thus, the final point in the box above may be a valuable long-term strategy for people with bipolar disorder. Either way, it is important to understand that suicidal feelings and actions are symptoms of an illness that can be treated. With proper treatment, suicidal feelings can be overcome.
Help can be found at:

university—or medical school—affiliated programs
hospital departments of psychiatry
private psychiatric offices and clinics
health maintenance organizations (hmos)
offices of family physicians, internists, and pediatricians
public community mental health centers
people with bipolar disorder may need help to get help.

Often people with bipolar disorder do not realize how impaired they are, or they blame their problems on some cause other than mental illness.
A person with bipolar disorder may need strong encouragement from family and friends to seek treatment. Family physicians can play an important role in providing referral to a mental health professional.
Sometimes a family member or friend may need to take the person with bipolar disorder for proper mental health evaluation and treatment.
A person who is in the midst of a severe episode may need to be hospitalized for his or her own protection and for much-needed treatment. There may be times when the person must be hospitalized against his or her wishes.
Ongoing encouragement and support are needed after a person obtains treatment, because it may take a while to find the best treatment plan for each individual.
In some cases, individuals with bipolar disorder may agree, when the disorder is under good control, to a preferred course of action in the event of a future manic or depressive relapse.
Like other serious illnesses, bipolar disorder is also hard on spouses, family members, friends, and employers.
Family members of someone with bipolar disorder often have to cope with the person's serious behavioral problems, such as wild spending sprees during mania or extreme withdrawal from others during depression, and the lasting consequences of these behaviors.
Many people with bipolar disorder benefit from joining support groups such as those sponsored by the national depressive and manic depressive association (ndmda), the national alliance for the mentally ill (nami), and the national mental health association (nmha). Families and friends can also benefit from support groups offered by these organizations

i'm bipolar and take depakote. Any more questions just ask.

Some books that I have found useful and have helped me are

detour my bipolar raod trip in 4-d by lizzie simon
a brilliant madness living with manic-depressive illness by patty duke
an unquiet mind a memoir of moods and madness by kay fedfield jamison
touch with fire manic-depressive illness and the artistic temperament by kay redfield jamison
the bipolar disorder survival guide by david j miklowitz
bipolar disorder demystified mastering the tightrope of manic depression by lana r castle
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Users who thank BPjoe23 for this post: cutefroglet03 

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replied December 2nd, 2011
bipolor in a bipolar addict relationship
I have been living with this disorder since I can remember when I was very young I'm 38 now and still untreated. I am in a relationship with a man that's 25 that's goin through the same symptom's and addictions when I was his age. I've step away from the drug"s but I do still drink when manic. I am ready for treatment but of course scared to get treated right I guess to find the right treatment. Do you think it's would be wrong to ask him if he'd do it with me?
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replied December 10th, 2011
Experienced User
if the two of you can do it together it should have to be easier than going it alone. good luck and tell us how it goes please!
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replied January 18th, 2012
yes do it together then you will both understand what eachother is dealing with...and try to help eachother through the stages and episodes the only thing i would be afraid of is you both having the "violent" episodes at the same time and hopefully ones episode dont throw the other one into an episode but i wish you the best of luck and keep us informed
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replied December 10th, 2011
Experienced User
what a wonderful post-thanks so much
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replied October 25th, 2005
Re: My Boyfriend Is Bipolar, I'm Feeling Torn
I can relate to your 'torn' feelings and nice to know someone else is in the same situation. I have days when I feel 100% positive I want to be with him then things get too much and I wonder if I am strong enough to deal with it. He is very gentle, sweet, intelligent, sensitive and handsome (everything I want). I was wanting us to attend a support group and am working on getting that arranged. I am learning as much as I can about the illness and also want to attend one of his sessions with him. Let me know if you come up with any other tips ....
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replied October 6th, 2011
I have felt very torn in my relationship with my boyfriend who has bipolar as well. I understand the disorder completely. I am a mental health therapist who has works with many people with the disorder. I have even had a few severe bipolar episodes myself in the mid 90's, so I really get it and that's why I'm so patient and tolerant with him.

We lived together from March 2010 until June 2011 when he continued to get more and more manic and he used drugs. He was homeless on the street for more than a month, and would call me for help and come to the house in the middle of the night. It was a nightmare. He just suddenly decided to move from Michigan with me to San Diego, the place he loves so much because he doesn't have to deal with extreme temperatures that bother him so much.

He never made it. He drove his car thru texas to go see his mother in Phoenix. His car broke down and was not worth repairing.

A few weeks later, while still a little manic, he was doing a plumbing job and caused a fire at his moms. She is elderly and not in the best of health, so he has been staying with her in hotels and rental homes until the contractors finish fixing her home which basically was gutted.

I went to stay with them beginning sept 1 and I'll be going home oct 9. We have had a pretty good visit and I paid for a 12 day trip to San diego and LA.

We have been talking about trying to live together again, which would mean being in Michigan at least in the spring and fall.

I just feel scared that he'll have another severe episode and do something crazy. His crazy is extreme and he has no regard for anyone and operates from a complete standpoint of survival, which is not being in touch with reality, because he had a home and gets a good amount of disability income every month.

I love him. I'm in love with him, but just dont get along with him when hes manic and he cant be in my home if he has used drugs. He hasnt used anything since early July.

I hate being apart for months at a time, tho when we live together, I could use more alone time because I work from home and he's home alot because he has no job and no friends in our area. Other than going to church, He relies on me and my family and friends solely for social interaction and my kids (adult offspring - two are away at college and one has her own place in the area) have mixed feelings about him understandably.

Most of our time together recently he has seemed pretty normal, but he sleeps alot off and on and then has some nights of only 4 hours of sleep.

He can be snippy, but hasnt yelled at me and mostly he's very affectionate, attentive and sexually intimate. He also initiates more walking and biking exercize when he's in beach areas which is a sign that he's alot more balanced in the San Diego climate.

It's been really good to share this. I hope things work out for you.
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replied October 7th, 2011
How Do I Get Over My Bipolar Ex Boyfriend ??
This was my last letter to him from jail:

Why didn't you just stick a knife into my heart when you had the chance, it would have saved me alot of pain and agony....!
I cannot love a man who has treated me the way you have, if I did then I would not be loving myself or God...
Right from the start you hurt, lied and cheated on me, I thought we loved each other and had a 'special connection',
but I was wrong...It was like I was your homebody, there for you while you went out to 'play'...and when things went
badly for you, you'd come back home to me for nurturing and to grow strong again and then go back out and do your
evil all over again,..and again ...and again ..I am breaking this chain....!
You said I was your "rock", but God should have been your rock, I insulted "Him" for taking "His" power away, you
should have depended on "Him"only... not me. I have prayed and prayed while you were in jail for you to find "Him" and to
open your heart for "Him" to come inside, also at the same time, I promised God that I would not be in your life anymore so
you would depend on only "Him"....I am keeping that promise....!
I would also like to add, I heard Michelle Johnston tell Chandra in the kitchen that "I was evil"....I do not know these
women, and they do not know me except thru you ! and this was all done by you and your correspondance with Michelle
while you were in jail....you are a troublemaker, a liar and a gossip, but now I am out of your life, so this should end....she
came very close to being arrested for stalking me, there is a stalking law in effect, she has been warned, the police have her
name along with my domestic violence counselor, so be advised......also, I am advising you not to approach or contact me....
I will mail your musical instruments....I want nothing of yours in my possession...
I am leaving on the 22nd, you will not hear from me again....I wish you good luck and am happy you found Jesus, I hope
when you leave jail that you do / did not leave "Him" there......

Good Bye Cord, Vaya con Dios

'Pip' scared


Since this, he has moved to another town and has 'hookers' on his FB profile...and is again "Walking on the Wild side"..I have deactivated my FB account...I want no temptation to view him.... He get a mental SSI ck on the 30th of each month and it's gone by the 10th of the following month...in 11 days his money is all gone, then he resorts to stealing and selling drugs!, he spends his SSI money it on drugs and prostitutes..!! He lives off other people and is running out of people to use, including me !! My opinion:.. he will be back in jail in no time!!!! LMAO !!

Last Edited by jandressup on 10/07/2011 10:57 AM
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replied October 6th, 2011
I have felt very torn in my relationship with my boyfriend who has bipolar as well. I understand the disorder completely. I am a mental health therapist who has works with many people with the disorder. I have even had a few severe bipolar episodes myself in the mid 90's, so I really get it and that's why I'm so patient and tolerant with him.

We lived together from March 2010 until June 2011 when he continued to get more and more manic and he used drugs. He was homeless on the street for more than a month, and would call me for help and come to the house in the middle of the night. It was a nightmare. He just suddenly decided to move from Michigan with me to San Diego, the place he loves so much because he doesn't have to deal with extreme temperatures that bother him so much.

He never made it. He drove his car thru texas to go see his mother in Phoenix. His car broke down and was not worth repairing.

A few weeks later, while still a little manic, he was doing a plumbing job and caused a fire at his moms. She is elderly and not in the best of health, so he has been staying with her in hotels and rental homes until the contractors finish fixing her home which basically was gutted.

I went to stay with them beginning sept 1 and I'll be going home oct 9. We have had a pretty good visit and I paid for a 12 day trip to San diego and LA.

We have been talking about trying to live together again, which would mean being in Michigan at least in the spring and fall.

I just feel scared that he'll have another severe episode and do something crazy. His crazy is extreme and he has no regard for anyone and operates from a complete standpoint of survival, which is not being in touch with reality, because he had a home and gets a good amount of disability income every month.

I love him. I'm in love with him, but just dont get along with him when hes manic and he cant be in my home if he has used drugs. He hasnt used anything since early July.

I hate being apart for months at a time, tho when we live together, I could use more alone time because I work from home and he's home alot because he has no job and no friends in our area. Other than going to church, He relies on me and my family and friends solely for social interaction and my kids (adult offspring - two are away at college and one has her own place in the area) have mixed feelings about him understandably.

Most of our time together recently he has seemed pretty normal, but he sleeps alot off and on and then has some nights of only 4 hours of sleep.

He can be snippy, but hasnt yelled at me and mostly he's very affectionate, attentive and sexually intimate. He also initiates more walking and biking exercize when he's in beach areas which is a sign that he's alot more balanced in the San Diego climate.

It's been really good to share this. I hope things work out for you.
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replied October 26th, 2005
Experienced User
Re: My Boyfriend Is Bipolar, I'm Feeling Torn
scubagirlnz wrote:
i can relate to your 'torn' feelings and nice to know someone else is in the same situation. I have days when I feel 100% positive I want to be with him then things get too much and I wonder if I am strong enough to deal with it. He is very gentle, sweet, intelligent, sensitive and handsome (everything I want). I was wanting us to attend a support group and am working on getting that arranged. I am learning as much as I can about the illness and also want to attend one of his sessions with him. Let me know if you come up with any other tips ....


do a search for nami or dbsa. There some of the best groups.
I always enjoy going to my dbsa groups. Make sure he see his doctor regularly, and keeps track of his moods and what he eats. Any more questions just ask.
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replied September 28th, 2007
Keep Your Head Up!!!
I can relate to you so much. It is nice to know i am not alone out there. I feel like i need to vent. Mine just got off meds 2wks ago. And the past 3 days have been hell. No matter what i say he gets mad and its my fault and I am not being nice. It is becoming to stressful for me. I love him dearly but at what point do i walk away for my own self preservation. i want normal again and i know i cant have that with him. Do i sound selfish? I try so had but i feel like i am at my witts end. I can't do anything right in his eyes lately. Hes controlling and manipulative and acts like he is in love with himself but loves to insult me. Are these all bipolar signs??
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Users who thank ohsillyme for this post: pidgkins 

replied October 10th, 2007
Very Bipolar Boyfriend - Alternative Medicine?
Hey!
I am in love with my boyfriend and we've been together for four months. He knows that he isn't doing well and needs help, but he doesn't want to take any medications. So I need help finding the alternative solutions...
I know nutrition is key and lots of sleep and routine, so I'm working on that.
Anything else? Certain supplements? Accupuncture? homeopathy?

ALSO - I am new to dealign with this, and dont' know what to say or not say. What makes it worse or better. I spend hours getting him out of bed to be productive because he feels better when he's being productive.
Sometimes I think I'm making it worse, other times better.
Any tips on what to say or what not to say?

thanks!
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replied October 10th, 2007
hi i cant give you any tips, because iam dealing with the same situation, an yes my better half is also better when his mind is active, has your boyfriend been diagnoised with bipolar?
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replied October 10th, 2007
I don't know if he's been properly diagnosed. He called someone this week and explained what's going on - a psychiatrist - and they said "oh well, it sounds like you're bipolar" and I know he's been on some meds before which made him feel numb.

Based on everything I've read online and talking to people, he seems like a classis case to me.
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replied October 19th, 2007
I Need Help
This has to be what my boyfriend has. I am soooo distraught, tired. I love him so very much as all of you have listed and all I want to do is help him. I have been dating him for 2 years, living with him for a year. I didn't know that he may have an illness, at first, and so I thought it was something I was doing. Sadly, I have a BA in Psych., but never really dealt first hand with this disorder. Approx. 8 months into the relationship, I noticed that we began to have arguments basically about my imperfections, what I do to him, things I do that are stupid, how terrible I am, and no on had ever told me that I was this bad. I began to ask my friends if I had some sort of issues that they never told me about and they said no, but it sounds like he does. I noticed that these arguments would go on for a couple days and then for two weeks we would either be absolutely in love, happy or just okay...even stephen....and then.....down again...fighting. It has become an emotional roller coaster for me and I feel doomed. He is very intelligent and good at switching arguments around to make you feel as though you are the person in the wrong. Manipulative. I am not sure how I can tell him that I think he has this Disorder, I do not think he will believe me and get help. Anyone have any suggestions. I cry every two weeks now and my heart can't take much more....I am an attractive, intelligent, worthwhile young lady and sometimes I think I am wasting my time....time that could be spent finding someone who I can smile and laugh with. I don't want to leave......I have left once and came back.....because as many others have said...I LOVE HIM> Another thing I have noticed is that he has a few female friends that he speaks with privately...I suppose this boosts his ego...he hasn't cheated and I know he loves me....he has never had a girlfriend this long and the girls that he is secretly talking with...by text...are no comparison to me....but he continues to talk with them and I just don't get why....when he has me...they are not just friends..I know they like him....I have seen some of the texts...but he never meets them we live and work together....so I would know and he admits that some of them like him but says they are his friends........Also he has gained a ton of weight and doesn't seem to interested in sex..other than with himself........what should I do.....I almost feel that I am depressed now...I feel like a dog that has been beaten...I just feel so low now.......because he has said some really hurtful things to me...and while most would leave....I knew he didn't mean it...

For Instance: The past 2 weeks have been great...we laugh..wrestle...watch tv....sing..together....kiss.....(No sex)...but affectionate...Then this morning I forgot to put his shorts in the dryer and I knew he would be upset, so I ran down and put them in.....When he woke up, he asked if I had put his shorts in the dryer the night before and I said yes, but they didn't dry completely and I had to restart them, which was a Lie but I find that I have to tell these white lies a lot around him in order to avoid a Huge Argument......so he then remembered that he hadn't heard the dryer the night before....so he caught me in my lie and for the rest of the day...wouldn't talk to me....was rude....yelled at me about everything under the sun.....avoided me....etc...I realize lying doesn't help...but I feel like I am walking on eggshells with him....okay...so any suggestions to my dilemna
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Users who thank rhondalipz for this post: diane38 

replied September 14th, 2011
Leave them if they are BiPolar - if they are not changing
Save your self and move on to a new BF who is not going to drag you down.

I believe I was living with a BP type. Mood swings,tonz of silly arguments, him calling you stupid over nothing and picking on my imperfections, saying I didn't listen to him. It was not fair to me....I am a very strong woman and dealt with bizarre behavior over 3years. It just got worse when he was stressed over work. He was always threatening to leave me for someone smarter,more helpful and "Just Like Him" He played mind games, maybe he was insecure but also violently verbally abusive in a dumb way.

It takes you down mentally and physically. I was tip toeing around and couldn't say things "damned if I do and damned if I don't" I gave up. Because I got physically sick- that was my cue to get out- when your body starts to take its toll, you can get ill- cancer comes from stress. I was accused of being a sneak,liar and manipulator. He wouldn't answer me straight but he would scream at me if I did the smallest thing wrong or If I spoke back to him according to him. Every week there was an episode, but mostly when he was stressed or worried over work. I felt like the punch bag.....and then he would get quiet and sad. I just had enuff.

He now claims " he never wants to be in a relationship, cuz he doesn't' want anyone to tell him what to do" I made the right decision.

These types can find women who will put up- shut up and well...if you want to be a puppet in the show. Stay there. I love sex and I love laughter....so I had to leave......I suggest you ladies run fast.

If you want to take care of someone have a child - but with a Man who is AWARE and Good to you 100% of the time not 50%.

Its sad to leave them-but try it for a while and you may realise you did the best thing for you.

Good Luck.
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Users who thank LetThemGo for this post: n2kismet 

replied November 18th, 2011
Experienced User
spoken like you know the drill. well said.
i've been living w my hb for 43 and have had enough. he is a mess right now......i just want the misery to be over.....
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replied March 12th, 2012
I love how strong willed you are. I hae been with my bf for a yr & a half. I wish I had the what it took to leave months ago, but like most of these women on here I saw the good and wanted to protect him and help him through the bad. He's on meds that in my opinion don't work that well.... I'm 3 month pregnant and I have never been so unhappy in all my life and I was in an abusive marriage. Id take occasional physical pain over this rollercoaster any day! I need a solution and fast Sad
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replied December 5th, 2012
I know this is an old post but I have been reading these stories and its amazing how much I have in common with every one of you.
Are you still with your man?
I have been in a relationship with mine since mid 2010.
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replied March 30th, 2008
Living with someone who is bipolar
Hey, to all you girls out there i know what you are going through and i honestly thought i was all alone. My boyfriend is bipolar and he takes medication for it, but he drinks with the medication all the time. Last night he was drunk and tried to hit me and almost run me over with his car. It isn't funny because i really did like him but i feel like i cant be in the relationship anymore. He refuses to see a therapist so what can i do? When things are good they are real good, but when things are bad they are real bad. I want to break up with him so bad but i cant find the strength please help!
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replied September 23rd, 2012
That's scary
Wow, you should get away from him, that's really dangerous.
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replied September 23rd, 2012
That's scary
Wow, you should get away from him, that's really dangerous and unhealthy. You don't deserve to be treated that way.
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replied April 30th, 2013
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year and three months. It had its roller coasters. Then we both came to college, which means parties and alcohol everywhere. One night, after I broke up with him, he found me when he was drunk at a party, and it was one of the most terrifying things. I am still in a relationship with him and don't know what to do either. So I threatened him that if he even thinks about touching alcohol we are over. I mean, I love him, But sometimes I wonder if what I loved is even still there. I guess what I am getting at is if you feel it is the right thing to do, then break it off. Then once the dust settles, step back and see what is there. The trick is to be able to decipher whether or not you are looking at the real person, or the bipolar product. Also, it is difficult to resist just going back to them right away to avoid the emotional trauma, that's where I got tripped up. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship decision. Smile
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replied April 8th, 2008
NEW BIPOLAR RELATIONSHIP
Hi everyone. As a bunch of you said, I'm too so thankful for this site right now. I just read through all of these replys and it made me more nervous than I already am from when my new boyfriend told me he was diagnosed 2 years ago with being bipolar. I've been dating him for only 2 months and it feels like that cheesey love at first sight, going to be together forever, having so much fun thing...but last night he told me that he has to take lithium each night just to be safe (since nothing has thankfully happened since the first episode he had). He said he didn't want to have to hide this from me if I saw him taking pills, not to be freaked out. He also told me what to be aware of if something should happen to him. I've been so excited about this wonderful new guy and now what do i do? I don't want to leave him, but after reading all of the stories you each have...why do I want to head in this direction. I mean if he gets to crazy I would bail, but I'm taking a risk just even continuing this great relationship. I'm afraid he's going to hurt me or something frightening...be one of those Dateline stories. HELP please.
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replied April 17th, 2008
My boyfriend has bipolar 1, I need advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half. We've lived together for about 8 months now. When he is in his normal state he is an amazing man. He's funny and motivated. We are completely content sitting on the couch watching the news together. A little background for you guys, he was engaged once, it was a 3 week engagement. The relationship (from what his famliy has told me) was horrible. They were miserable, but they were all each other knew. Started dating about age 16? His ex stepfather used to abuse him, his mom kicked him out with nowhere to go, and his ex's father took him in. From what I understand, the gf's father got a new job and they skipped town. Well my bf did not want to leave his life and family, not to mention his great job, so in an effort to keep the girl from leaving he proposed. I know, all the wrong reasons.

That brings us to my problem. We started dating about 18 months AFTER she left him. Things were AMAZING for the first few months. Then I noticed he started to push me away, though he admits that he was just afraid to get hurt again. Now, a year and a half in to our relationship, after much research and a lot of tears, I've started tracking his episodes. It seems like every 3-4 months he goes through about 2-3 days where he treats me like crap. He never actually breaks the relationship off, but he says things like he's moving and I'm not coming with. Or my favorite is when he tells me he's been talking to his ex.... which I know for a hard fact is not the case. It just seems like when he gets these mood changes he only targets me. He cuts me down, pushes me away and really says hurtful things. I've learned that I cannot cry, I cannot argue with him... but I've also noticed that when I ask him if he wants me to move out, or if this is it, we're over... he never answers. Also, he will only text message me during these times. He does go through depressive stages too. He does not want to go to dinner with friends, he closes all of the blinds and just sleeps on the couch for 8 hours, wakes up for an hour then goes to bed.

He recently started taking Lamictal, for Bipolar 1. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the drug but his prescription increases after 2 weeks. the day after it increased he started his moods again. I live with the man and we often talk about getting married, but when this starts he claims we want different things and that we're not right for one another and that he misses his ex and such.... I guess my question for anyone who can answer me is this... Is the way he acts towards me, pushing me away, but never actually saying move out, its over a normal symptom? It's a very hard disorder to understand, and even harder to live with... but the rollercoaster of emotions is killing me. If there are any bipolar men reading this and can give me some insight to how the disorder effects their relations, or even if women can offer their opinions or experiences I would greatly appreciate it.

Until them, I'm helpless and hurting.
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replied April 22nd, 2008
Husband with BiPolar Disorder
I'm not sure if this will help. My husband has bipolar disorder. He was diagnosed a few years ago. I always wondered why he acted the way he did. He would go off the deep end at the strangest things, so then I kind of got use to it. I didn't realize the effect it would have on me or my children in the long run. I have been married to him for 13 years. We seperated almost three years ago, because I was so depressed I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep and not wake up. It was that bad. He was using Methamphetamine and staying gone all the time and some how he made it my fault. Today I am overwhelmed. A few days ago I had to say goodbye for the final time. Yes he tells me he loves me, but he acts like he hates me. In the past I have been accused of screwing guys left and right. In the beginning of our relationship I did a bad thing, but back then I had my own issues and used drugs and alcohol. I have been clean for almost 13 years. I am not the same woman I use to be. He will not let the past go though, so his fits or whatever they are called just got worse over the years. He stuck a gun in my face and choked me until I was unconscious. He has had many affairs with other women and made me think that it was all my fault. He has called me every name in the book and embarrassed me in front of people. But I love him very much and miss him terribly, but he already has another woman in our home. I guess what I am trying to say is, not everyone is like my husband, but if I had known what I do now. I wouldn't have stayed, because a BP person can do no wrong in their minds. They blame you and everyone else, but not themselves.
It's funny, my heart has hurt for so long and he could care less really. It's all about him and what he wants. He refused to take medication. He says it is for weak people. I wish he would have given us that choice. So staying is up to you, but you have to ask yourself is my sanity worth it, because I stayed for 13 years and thought I could make things better, but here I am today wondering how I got to this place and why is it that no matter what I tried to do to make it better didn't work. The manipulation he did on my mind has left a scar not only in my heart, but my mental state is not that great either......but it will be. Goodluck to you sweetie.
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replied November 23rd, 2012
thankyou for sharing your real life experience, i have started to date a guy with this sickness, and seems like everything u experienced rings a bell, they are really good in manipulating others mind, guess its better for me to walk away and no turning back
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replied May 4th, 2008
wish me luck
i like so many others have said...have gone thru very similar situations...the manipulations and the foul things said against me by him...and the he can't do anything wrong and it always being turned around on me stuff...its not easy to deal with...and anytime that i have a problem with something it still is turned around on me...sux...its all part of bipolar...if you love them...and you want to support them then do it...but...they must help themselves...and if they won't then you must leave...and you may need counseling for yourself to help deal with the hurtful actions/words...but setting up some ground rules for the relationship is a must...as in if he does this or that...say cheats or hits...then you will no longer stay by his side...because you have to care for yourself too...if you don't take care of yourself how can you support anyone else...there are a few ground rules that i am about to address with my bf...wish me luck as i know it's going to be a hell of a ride
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replied May 5th, 2008
Re: wish me luck
HeartHaven I thought that my husband and I might have a chance, but not only can I not get use to the name callling, or the hitting...I just don't trust him anymore. I do love him and care for him. But he just is out of control. It's kind of ironic. He has had unprotected sex with numorous women and thought nothing of it. He sees a guy talking to me and I'm having sex with them....smh...people with BPD are so unprodictable. Goodluck to you, you'll be in my prayers
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replied June 7th, 2011
My boyfriend has bipolar too. He accuses me of cheating and hates it when I talk to any man aside from him... What makes it hard is I have BPD but I am almost completely better because BPD is curable in a sense. In two years I will be off my medications and I will no longer see my therapist... Its just so hard sometimes with him being Bipolar and me trying to deal with that. I love him so much though. Well just know that BPD is curable with the right help and it isnt something one is born with. It has underlying issues like if they were abused, abandoned, grew up in a bad environment, etc. That is one reason I will be able to get better. Well thank you
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replied July 18th, 2008
NEW BIPOLAR RELATIONSHIP
Hi everyone. As a bunch of you said, I'm too so thankful for this site right now. I just read through all of these replys and it made me more nervous than I already am from when my new boyfriend told me he was diagnosed 2 years ago with being bipolar. I've been dating him for only 2 months and it feels like that cheesey love at first sight, going to be together forever, having so much fun thing...but last night he told me that he has to take lithium each night just to be safe (since nothing has thankfully happened since the first episode he had). He said he didn't want to have to hide this from me if I saw him taking pills, not to be freaked out. He also told me what to be aware of if something should happen to him. I've been so excited about this wonderful new guy and now what do i do? I don't want to leave him, but after reading all of the stories you each have...why do I want to head in this direction. I mean if he gets to crazy I would bail, but I'm taking a risk just even continuing this great relationship. I'm afraid he's going to hurt me or something frightening...be one of those Dateline stories. HELP please.
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