I know this is long! Bear with me because I need some good advice from experienced individuals. Please read on.....

My husband and I have been married for 1 year. We're both mid 20's. My husband started abusing drugs and alcohol when he was 12 yrs old. This is when his parents went thru a nasty divorce. He stopped using cocaine for 3 yrs, but could never give up drinking. Right after we got married he started back onto cocaine and everything in our world fell apart. In our 1st yr of marriage we've not only dealt with regular marriage stuff but also going thru emergency room visits, rehab, half way houses, medications, and more.

Recently (past 3 months) our life smoothed out, respectively. I.E. My husband started school, was working his programs, paying his bills, seeing a therapist, taking his med (lexapro). Yet, he has stated that he's not happy.

He's always been a laid back and very quite. I think the lexapro has been working but out of the blue he went on a cocaine spree and didn't come home for 4 days. This was the night before we were going on family vacation for a week. This was actually the 3rd relapse in the last month. It was the worst of the three episodes. He says he's given up because all these things that are suppose to help haven't been able to keep him off the drugs and booze. He feels like the meds do nothing. I think thats the illness talking but am not sure.

He's obviously chronically depressed and has been since he was a child. He's always been the depressed sort. Yet, his erratic behavior tells me
that there might be more.

Does this sound like bipolar disease to anyone??? As far as I can tell he does not experience the extreme highs. He mellows out but then has the terrible lows where he becomes self destructive. He doesn't seem to care what happens to him. He believes he deserves it all. He over and over says how much he hates himself. The guilt of his actions truly gets to him. Even when he's doing ok, he has very little self esteem.

My dilema is trying to decide if its the addition that is causing this or if he's bipolar. Which could put us into a whole different ballpark. Especially when it comes to what meds he should take. He started with zoloft. Then he went to wellbutrin. Now he's on lexapro.

I'm desperate for advice. Can anyone help me with suggestions on how to get my husband diagnosed? Also, what is your opinion about whether he sounds bipolar or just chronically depressed.

Ever greatful,

a. Robinson