Well now with all the "little" extras you didn't mention, well it makes the story a little different. I'm also married 10yrs. Now, but with only one child (boy-now 16yrs). It takes a pretty understanding person to live through/with someone with bi-polar illness. But it also takes a bigger person to "live"with it. I was dx about 1yr. After our marriage, but had the symptoms for about 3yrs. Prior (about the time we met) I was in a long state of mania and of course along with that (for some) comes the hypersexual behavior-so my husband (boyfriend at the time)(waiting for my first divorce to be finalized-my son is from that marriage). So with this my husband thought he'd died and gone to heaven!!
Then--my dive down which lasted for about 3months (i also have a tendency to be more depressive). This when I was dx. Over the years. I have learned to "curb" my tongue-which you will also have to learn. I know what it's like to all of a sudden get these frustrated feelings, and storm through the house making demands, but you have to learn to acknowledge your signs and find meditation, breathing --whatever helps you learn to "cool" and not say threatening things to your relationship. Your husband also needs to learn about your situation, and that it is an illness and not your fault. Like diabetes, ms or even a kid that has add or adhd (last two are also chemical imbalances) (part of our brain doesn't give us the balance of the chemicals for highs/lows to keep us in level-thats why we need our medication). I only work part-time and I work 12hr. Shifts. I am lucky that I have a well paying job, so I only work 2 shifts a week, then you can bet your life that i'm sleeping most of the 3rd day. I live my life more spontaneously, as I never quiet know what I will feel like the next week. I know this sounds like it probably would be harder for you since you have 3 children, but you will find a system that will work for you. But pleases! Please! Watch what you say!! We can get pretty cruel, and harm can be done. So educate, ask for help from your husband and remind him, that this is not your fault, and it could ;have happened to him. Good luck!
Keep in touch.