I have been diagnosed with bipolar, although i'm not so sure I trust the diagnosis; I think a big part of the problem is the religious cult I grew up in, but that's another story. But anyway, I had been on a combination of neurontin, xanax, trazodone, and lexapro for a number of years, and then started questioning my cultish religious beliefs. This wrecked havoc with my marriage, and I panicked, threatened suicide, and wound up in the hospital. They took me off all my old meds and put me on depakote, which didn't suit me, and after a lot of trial and error, I wound up on a zyprexa/proxac combination (what's that stuff called?). Then, a couple of months later, I was divorced, unemployed, and ineligible for any government assistance, so I tried to cut back on the meds gradually because they are so damn expensive and I didn't want to have to choose between them and food/shelter. To my pleasant surprise, I was able to go off the meds completely, and i've been drug-free for several months now (but haven't told my doctor).
Since I went off the meds, I have gone back to school, gotten a job, and have not experienced any symptoms of bipolar. I am getting good grades and paying my bills. I would probably be homeless if I were still on the damn pills. Leaving the damn religion has freed me to think rationally and without the guilt and fear of god and hell and sin and all the cognitive dissonance due to the lies my old cult tells that twist its members' perceptions of reality, and all that caca, I can manage myself just fine.
The problem is, the side-effects I experienced while drugged have not gone away. My metablism has dropped as has my appetite (i used to eat breakfast religiously; now I eat one or two meals a day, late in the day), I get cold easily, i'm in the worst physical shape of my life, and my sex drive is pathetic. I also feel less creative. I keep thinking after enough time being off the meds things will return to normal, but hell, it's been several months; how long does it take?
What in the world could be causing this and what can I do about it?
