Im just wondering why I have always felt
so so sh*t.. No matter what I do I cant
do any thing right and right now my life
is not getting any where. I started
feeling this way seriously when I was
about nine. I knew about life I knew
about stuff that happens. I knew my mum
was having a affair, and that she never
wanted to wed my dad. My mum used to talk
to my best friend of 16 years,mum saying
about how I needed special needs etc. My
teacher basically told me I was thick.
My x best friend left me when I was about
17 for another girl and there group, she
got into sex and clubbing more than I did.
I eventually found out she tried cutting
her arms, so I went home and done the
same..It was a release. Then went out and
lost my virginity. Then that same year my
whole class in school came up to me and
said how I changed, and had a 'whatever'
out look for all there views. I was quite
and not the same since they said my
stepdad gave them evils at my party when I
was 15. I became bilimic when I was about
14, every one hated me cos I used to say I
didnt like my self, they said shut up your
skinny try being me. Also my mums
brother(my uncle) doesnt talk to my mum
any more cos she left my dad, I hate it
why cant every one be friends. Now I have
one friend and a bf. I feel asthough my
life isnt worth any thing. Noone seems
bothered about me or what I do. I cant
stand this any more. I really cant. I
want to break free, get a better job,
house and a life. Or better still, leave
for good.
