You don't mention your ages or living situations or financial or educational circumstances - all of which impact - as does health on a relationship & on advice that can realistically be given.

That said >> it sounds like as you said you are tow good people but people who may (seem) to be at different points/places in your lives with perhaps different needs >> & perhaps you would both be better off apart - at least for the time being.

If you keep fighting you keep hurting each other but sometimes a break away can heal or show you options(both of you) that you hadn't seen before.

I also don't know just how much you're working & why - I mean there are workaholics out there - but there are also people who have to work in order to pay bills or get something so it may be that you are overworking but without any details no-one can really know.

Hi, thanks for your reply. We are both in out early thirties. I havent spoken to my girlfriend in 2 weeks since I felt really hurt. She has told me she loves me but every day she would be angry about something. One night she hung the phone up on me because I didnt get out of work till 7.
I am not a workaholic, but the nature of my job requires hours of around 8-7 sometimes.

I have been afraid to call her or see her since every day was ending in her either hanging up the phone or telling me her friends were more important. It got to the point where my work was being affected as she would keep me up at night at curse at me.

I love her but do not know how the relationship can work when she is mean to me. Could I have some advice? Thanks

I though that I found your letter under the bi-polar heading, your letter didn't specify, and with that in mind I will reply. I was dx a few yrs. Ago with bi-polar disorder, and was at the time having problems with anger outbursts, I would feel out of control and get upset at such little things, then I would really wanted was a hug. Of course no one wants to hug someone who is so verbally cruel. Once I got to understand my illness and with my medication, and counselling, i've learned to control my manic outbursts. Now if your girlfriend isn't bi-polar, then I would still say, from what you've wrote, she needs some professional help dealing with her anger. You can't be in a "healthy"relatonship and behave like that. Think if you do want a future with this woman, do you want her behavior to continue like this, maybe even carry on to your children. Hopefully she will love you enough and get the help (assuming you do suggest it to her) and if she wants a future with you, she would seek it, also simply for herself even. It's not fun having uncontrollable outbursts-believe I have experienced that. Now I leave the room when I get upset, and we talk about what the issue was later when I (or we both) have had time to "cool". It does sound like maybe the two of you are in different places in your life. That doesn't mean that the relationship has to be over, but your girlfriend really does need to deal with this issue. Remember the good old saying "it is better to have loved and lost that love, than to never have loved at all" --very true! Good luck

Hi dave - I am a bi-polar female so I can understand what you and your girlfriend are going through - I have real anger issues and when I argue with my bf it is about things most people wouldn't argue about and I do not fight fair I bring up his old gf's and his past - I always want to end the relationship and just be by myself to deal with my problems - I haven't left yet cause I do care but the relationship is not good for either one of us. I have an appt. To sign a lease on an apt on wednesday I do not know what I will do - so far today we have not argued but we are both at work right now - I hate myself after we argue and I am sorry but I can not control it - I am not on any meds (probably should be) anyway I can understand some of the things your gf does and how you feel - maybe you can email me back if you would like to talk more about how it affects my relationship - I am not physically abusive but soemtime feel like I could be...

Hi dave, I have the same problem you have, I didn't know if your gf is bipolar or not but anyway my bf is, he's not on meds :( and he's always hurting me as your gf do, I think this is very normal for bipolars to hurt their loved ones. I'm apart from him now coz he's in a bad mood, my advice is to be apart from your gf until she comes back to you.
Bipolars cannot think about 2 things in the same time, so if she's concentrating in anything she would not think about you, they are so obsessives. I hope you can understand this very well.
About relationships, their disorder make them feel that they cannot keep a healthy relationship, but they of course can. When they are down, they think about ending any relationship to be lonely with their disorder. I do understand these circumstances and i'm trying to coop with them, that's because I love my bf so much and I wanna be with him. I wish you good luck and you can email me if you want.

well we are both in high school, and she gets ad over everything!!! she is not on any medicastions, but i really need some help with her. currently she moved across the USA so i cant see her at the moment. AND I DO NOT WANNA BREAK UP, so i need help with dealing with her too. she always fights about littleest things and says im cheating WHICH IM NOT AND WILL NEVER!! so could somebody help me??

in high school, im 16, shes 17, weve been dating for 6 months, and at the begining of 3 months we started fighting and crying a lot. mostly crying. we keep trying to figure out what was wrong, and i think we did a few times, but theres always some underlying cause, because she brings up the same arguements over and over, it never helps. im a very happy person, i love being with ppl i dont know and enjoy being alone. she is not very happy sometimes, she says she always misses me, when i went on a vacation for a week she cried because she was scared i would die. we always have fights now, every WEEK!!! i personally notice that i usually resent her by the end of the week, but then the weekend she comes to my house and we do sexual suff and i feel much better. its terrible i know. i think she does too, theres tension i guess because we only can see each other like 8 hours a week, at my house on the weekends only. one day a week. we stoped going on dates since winter(about 3 months in). she has resently actully yelled at me, ive yelled at her once now. i am mature i can deal with everything i know of, i am happy, organized, thoughtful, everything. she is REALLY unstable, then shes HYPER/ or sugar high, she goes bouncing around and forgets about me, then ig et sad, then she gets really sad, then i get mad and bottle it up, then were good again. when shes depressive, i am ok, then she blames me, then i get sad, then i get angry, i bottle it up, she feels better, i resent her, she wants me so we do sexual things sometimes. indeed right after our biggest fight (it was about sex) the next day we had sex for the first time. Irony.Shes very negitive, i enjoy just being with her. she always wants more, im never there long enough. she always gets really depressed before i leave. usually she comes crying back apologiuzing for her behavious, she didnt mean it, she knows she said hurtful things, she knows she had no reason to be so upset. theres some cycles going on. ok, well i guess i typed enough. im wondering what i can do, she wants me to make her a better person, but really all her problems come from herself, she needs to sort out her problems HERself, then move onto a relationship, but i dont wanna break up. i wonder what i can do to help, nothing i say makes a permanat effect, i thinking about medication, try and get her diagnosed, something must be wrong. im not sure.,

k so some advice for guys w/ bipolar chicks cuz I know it SUX being w/ us/me... I can't imagine having to deal w/ me I say terrible things and there's this really tiny/quiet part in my brain that's like don't say it don't say it but i say it anyway, er I'l explode and of course I end up apologizing but i can't take back the things i say when im dysphoric er whatev. I don't wan2 to say just suck it up but its kinda what you have to do TRY i know when its hard to not take something personal when ur girl is yelling at you all of a sudden for something u and prolle herself don't know what for... The BEST thing is to be supportive and listen and try not to make the situation worse its like we can't help it-we really dont want a fight so don't omg don't fight back we're just freaking out about something and you most importantly just need to understand that u CANNOT do anything so please DO NOT try to do anything or think you can fix it-b/c u can't and the relationship does not need more stress b/c ur pissed cuz now you're feelin incompetent that u can't fix ur girl. it just needs to pass-my bf realized that all he has to do is be there for me, he lets me cycle/cry do what i need to do w/out getting upset too and then i'm in a better mood (im tend to cycle extremely rapid, one phone call I was cryin yellin then the next 10 mins I was fine and then back, i did that several times and then I was ok-b/c he let me do my things w/o getting upset and making a real situation.

My Girl Friend To is Bipolar she recently took off to Arizona with a stranger she is very small and nieve. so scared she has not contacted any of her loved ones including her parents. Shes been missing for two weeks now and i feel so abandaned and worried at the same time. relly sucks.