First of all I usually weigh between 140-145. I'm 52. My face and body look really good about 135-139, super actually. There is something about going over the 140 mark that bounces me into the "fat and unattractive" category. It's just a few pounds. I'm not tall, about 5'4". It's like something in me does not want to look or feel good on a daily basis.

I over-eat about twice a week; hundreds of calories, sometimes up to a few thousand in a very short period, like an hour, or sometimes i'll do it in two sessions. I don't purge, or make myself vomit. What should I do to stop it. There may have been a time I didn't do this, but I can't remember it. I also feel guilty afterwards, then the next day will go very light with the food, trying to make up for the day before, and feeling better. I'm tired of not eating like the rest of the population, and I think i'm not mentally healthy. I've never been to a psychiatrist, nor do I take any drugs.(ooh wait, I do chew nicotine gum instead of smoking.) certain sugary foods seem to set the binges off.

How do I go about getting to the bottom of this and become a healthy eater, with functional eating behavior? It's such a deeply embedded pattern and I would like some advice for changing it, please.