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Coerced Abortion

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When my family discovered I was pregnant a few weeks ago, they ranted and raved and made me feel horrible until I gave into their decision. The ab father had suggested abortion, and never said otherwise...But only a few days after the abortion told me he did want the baby, and it turns out he was angry that I just packed my bags and decided to leave him (because I thought he didn't want the baby and didn't want to be with him anymore if he was going to let me go through something that I know I didn't want to)...So right now I am just plain angry, but am only trying to get over it so I can start a family again.

I know I am young (i don't know if my age is on my profile or not, but i'm not going to say it) but I know the main thing I want in life is to be a mother. I have had 2 miscarriages previously (1st from rape, 2nd from other boyfriend) and the 2nd one was at 16 weeks and the most painful thing I have ever experienced...And I told myself that with this baby, it would be different. I was healthy, would not let anyone smoke around me, had no alcohol, but to no avail. No relief came after my abortion, only intense emotional pain. All I want is my baby back.

Everytime I bring this up to my "ex" he gets angry and wants me to get over it. I think he feels guilty as well, and I hope more than anything we can work through this. He is being transferred to canada or oklahoma, and if I have to, I will go there.

I know not every woman feels like I do right now, but I just had to get that out. It's only been 1 week and 2 days since the abortion...And all I know is that it was a huge mistake. Not because women shouldn't have the right to do it, they most definitely should, but because it wasn't the right thing for me, no matter what my circumstances...


*katy*
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replied November 29th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
I don't really have any experience with your situation but I have witnessed the opposite. When my older sister became pregnant, she was basically forced to gestate and give birth. She now resents my niece for "ruining" her life and evertime she doesn't get to do something, it's my nieces fault. I would personally rather feel a little sadness over an abortion (which was not my case either) than to complete resent the resulting child. My niece spends every school vacation with us because she knows she's not wanted at home. This has always been very hard on my niece.
It sounds from your previous posts that you would have rather kept the pregnancy so I am sorry that you felt you had no other choice at the time. Perhaps you should re-evaluate why you want to start a family at this time and why everyone around you is opposed to that idea.
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