Omg I am sooooo sorry how did u find out?

I am so terribly sorry for this. There is no excuse for it. And with two girls?!! I am sorry I know this will be so hard for you. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. To be honest, you need to leave him. I know this will be hard for you to do, but think about it. Will you ever look at him the same? Even if you work through it, in the back of your mind you will always know. You should respect yourself enough to not stand for it.

Sorry to hear about that, it must really hurt. But I agree with what southcoach said you should deffently leave.

I found out he cheated on me cause for some reason he felt the need to tell me. The girls weren't at the same time, just in the same week...Like that makes any frickin' difference.

So sorry,honey.I know how you feel!I was told by my ex-fiance 3 weeks before our wedding that he had been cheating with multiple women during our relationship.It hurt like heck at first,but with time ,i realized that he did me a huge favor by telling me.I had the opprtunity to decide that I did not want a life with someone who did not value and cherish our relationship.I know you are hurting right now,but you deserve better than that!!!Any man who does not think that cheating is wrong is not only a hound,he is endangering your health!!!Try not to think of why he strayed,you will only make yourself nuts!!!I learned that many men cheat because the opportunity arises,it has little to do with you!Some people are just built that way and it does not matter what you may or may not do for him/her.I almost made myself crazy trying to figure out why he cheated.I worked full time,cooked ,cleaned and was always available for sex.I then overheard two women talking on the train one morning.They were talking about a similar situation with a friend.One woman told her friend that some men will cheat in spite of all that-it is not personal!!That was like a light going on for me and made it a little easier to move on.It did take some time to be able to trust another man,but I did find a great guy to spend my life with and have been married now for almost 9 years.Do not give up and do not blame yourself!!If you want to pm me,i'm here for you!Patty

Aww..Sweetie im so sorry. This happend to my cousin, but her [ex] husband didnt tell her...He accidentally forgot a whole stack of pictures of him and his "girl on the side" making out..But you really need to leave him, you dont need the stress...Best of luck..

How long ago did this happen porshe? I'm so sorry, that sucks! Hang in there. You sound like a strong woman from the posts of yours i've read on here.

He cheated on me like six months ago, and didn't tell me until now. One of them was his ex and the other was his friend. I was friendly with both of them. What I don't understand is how either of them could even look me in the face and hang with me while they were sleeping with my guy...Geez.

Wow. That is harsh! I can't believe if they were "friends" they would even do it. Wow. Sorry! What are you going to do?

Some girls just don't understand the meaning of "friendship" I have tried to explain this to several people who just don't seem to comprehend, but you are not someone's friend if you are sleeping with their man! Whooo, there are a lot of dumb people out there.
Anyway, definately leave him. Cheating is unforgiveable. A lot of people will tell you to "work it out", but I don't see anything to "work out." he broke the vowels and that is that. He obviously feels the need to disrespect you and risk infecting the both of you with god knows what, so let him go be with his little sluts. You can do so much better! Also, since the divorce will be his fault, you will get everthing! Not that it will make you feel any better, but at least it will be screwing him!

Posrschelvr

give this some time to think it out. This is not the time to make any rash decisions. Talk openly w/ him. There is a reason he told you and you need to understand why he did.

This does not excuse the adultery thing, but this is not the end of the world. Sometimes this opens avenues of better communications and, sometimes, could actually make for a healthier relationship.

Men are vulnerable and stupid when it comes to women's prowlness. Obviously, these ladies came on to him knowing damn full well he was married. If you have the opportunity, ask them, in front of your husband, just what the f**k their intent was? Are they so sorry that they can't find anyone else???? Do they think it was okay to possibly destroy a marriage? Obviously, you need to get rid of your "friends" before you consider leaving your husband.

I'm sorry you have to experience this, but wish you luck....

Good point. I agree that you need to rethink your friendships with these people and determine why it might have happened. However, even assumming these girls came on to him, I believe he has a certain responsibility as your husband and someone who loves you to tell your "friends" to take a hike if they come on to him. Granted, sometimes situations might occur in the moment, and your husband may have made a very bad mistake on a split second whim, but to cheat with 2 girls (your friends too!), on different occations means that he cheated once, had time to think about it and cheated again. This was not a whim or a sudden mistake. Your husband for whatever reason considered the pain and grief it would cause you, and decided to go through with it anyway. I don't see any valid excuse here. I would try to figure it out before acting suddenly and irrationally, but please, respect yourself enough not to let this go. Hope that made sense.


Ps the fact that he was content for 6 months before telling you also says something. If he cared I don't see how he could sleep at night for 6 months after doing that and have you next to him.

Thanks guys. They were more his friend than mine. I just knew of them and I have hung out with them before. They also live in another state so I can't ask them that gramps. There is really nothing I can do but wait it out and do what my heart tells me. I do appreciate all the advice though!

Southcoach

coach, I don't know that he was "content" for six months based on what she has told us. He probably anguished over this for 6 months and his conscience was bothering him, big time, and he had to tell her.

Agreed, this doesn't excuse him of his decision to do them, but, as I said, "men are very vulnerable to women's prowlness".

I hope she accesses her relationship w/ him and, once made, never bring it up again.

Dump that guy and then start planning your revenge, make it swift so that it does not concern you for too long people like that will destroy you emotionally with time and you can't come back behond a certain point, no matter what people say about time healing all wounds it's not true time just provides you with the faculties to go insane.

I am sorry that has happened to you that is the worst thing to go through. I know people make mistakes, and it depends on the person if they want to stay with them or not. I do believe that people need second chances. Everyone makes mistakes sometime in their lives. It will mess with your head for along time. You really need to talk with someone that you can trust, and someone that will not judge you on what you decide to do. If you need someone to talk with feel free to talk with me

this is a bit extreme for me, I don't think I am the type of person who would get revenge. Thanks for the advice though, for right now I am just playing it by ear and trying to feel my way through it.

Living well is the best revenge!!!He will see in time what a stupid guy he is.In the mean time,take care of yourself and get back on your feet.Focus on improving yourself,the rest will follow!Best to you!!!Patty

thanks right now we are actually back living together, I had moved to my parents for a little while. Iam not really sure what I am going to do. I enrolled back into school again. And I got a job interview for tomorrow morning for a job I could support myself on...So hopfully it all works out how it's supposed to.