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October 18th, 2003
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months now. Before me, he dated a girl only a couple of times and he lend her alot of money. He thought the relationship was going to go somewhere. She still owes him most of it. She used to call him all the time. He would get bend out of shape when she called because it was either to ask him for $ or just dump her problems on him. I didn't think it was healthy when she called because he would get bothered by her phone calls. He told her to stop calling unless it was an emergency. I went away 2 months ago to see my family and when I returned he handed me a hair clip in his car thinking it was mine and it wasn't. I found a pad in his house with her name on it. He said these things were there from a year ago. Recently she started calling again. He hadn't told me about till I asked. He said she only calls him when her husband is not around. She just got married but supposedly the guy's a creep and abuses her. This giving her more reason to look for my boyfriend. I'm a bit confused. I feel sorry for her but I don't know whether they saw each other while I was away? Whether she looks for him really as just a friend or as her sugar daddy? Or are these just my jealousy issues and should I just allow this friendship to go on?
I'm a single mom and take my relationships very serious but this one has me confused. I'd love to get advice. Thanks for reading!
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Yazmine
replied October 19th, 2003
Experienced User
Its seems she knows that he will listen to her. Tell him to be completely honest w/u. If u and her are on ok terms I would try talkin to her urself and be calm. Let her know that he is with u now and although u know what shes going through, it would be best if she didnt crowd him with her problems and instead maybe seek counciling or a female friend she can talk to. Hope I helped Smile !
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Fairy Godmother
replied October 19th, 2003
Supporter
She Needs to Get Over It
I am blunt and to the point....No sugar coating. You have asked, so I will tell you what I think..... This guy needs to tell this "other" girl, who is married.....To get on with her life. The heck with the $ owed to him form the past, consider it a loss. He needs to tell her to leave him alone...Or, take out a restraining order. You sound like a really nice down to earth type person, and this "she needs a friend" crap gets real old real fast.....She can find another friend somewhere else. If this guy really cares about you and your emotions, he will get her out of the picture. Otherwise, I would move on. I say this, because if he doesn't stop this now, he never will. You do not need to have your heart broken. Life is too short....You should not have to deal with situations like this. There are too many other guys out there who would be devoted to you...And you alone! You are special....Remind yourself of this everyday. You play second fiddle to know one! Good luck sweeite, keep us posted!
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pc44
replied October 20th, 2003
Thanks For Your Reply
I was so happy to see people had responded. Well, here is what happened. Your both very right. The girl needs to move on. I'm not friends with her, i've never met her so I couldn't speak to her myself. I was very upset with the whole thing so I told my boyfriend. I needed some days alone. The real reason was I wanted him to think was it really worth all of this. He didn't like not speaking for two days and realized on his own, he would lose a good thing over something that was not worth it. We don't argue and have had a great relationship except for this. He decided he needs to tell her she needs to go to her husband with things and leave us alone. Actions speak louder than words hopefully he'll do what he has said. He also had a good bonding session with his dad, he also helped him with the money deal. Their getting their accountant to deal with the money owed. Thank you so much for responding!! If there's anything I can ever help with please ask!!
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