My Partner Is Bi-polar And I Need Help!!!! !

Sometimes you have to take care of yourself. Until you are okay with you, then and only then can you help her. Bipolar is selfish, self centered, and always for what they think is important. I am not saying they have no feelings or they don't feel what you are going through but that feeling you have will always be second to the emotion or feeling that they ( the bipolar person) is having. Sometimes they just can't give you what you are looking for. Is your relationship worth this? Only you can answer. I do know also that bipolar illness is hard on the partner because they are smart and they know how to fight dirty and with that they have a I don't give a rip attitude. I know how it hurts to love someone so much but can do nothing but wait till the mood changes, it is their way or the highway. It will not go away, it can get better, but will never go away. It will happen again it always does. Sorry if this is offending to anyone, it is how I feel. I hope this helped in some way.

This is in respomse to the guy's letter named jdeitsch79, and to she who wonders who replied back. I was absolutely horrified in this letter responding. You obviously are an angry person who doesnot understand the illness ( and it is just that). This guy sounds like he has a lot of emotions going on right now, and i'd hate for him to be given such one sided advise (which your letter was, and it was more like a health forum session for you to blow off steam). I am a female living with bi-polar and donot have these charateristics of which was written in this letter you wrote i'm a very caring nurse, mother of a teenage boy (whom i'm very close to) and my husband and I are best of friends . It's not easy living with this illness, and at times medications need to be altered, which can cause problems as well. But what i'd like to say to this young man who wrote the inital letter is: first i'd like to say how sorry I feel for your loss, it must be unbearable at times, and I wish you didn't have to go through this, I really do. I hope there is support for you and your greiving family, second is that it sounds like your girlfriend needs to be reassessed (her meds.)and hopfully is taking them as prescribed. Sometimes people have problems in life and their relationships and so do people who have bi-polar (without it always being "blamed" on the illness) . You should tell her what you are feeling, and maybe she also greiving, and doesn't quiet know how to deal with it herself. Counsolling for you both as a couple would help: to teach you coping skills- to help you deal with life crisis, your greiving and simply couple therapy. It sounds like you love this woman, and every relationship has a time when you can't see through the pain (and you do have alot of pain going on right now). Over all, don't make any decisions right now. Take time away from your girlfriend, stay with a friend if you have to. You need time to grieve the loss of your mother. If your girlfriend doesn't understand that, then she needs time also to get her priorities in line. But don't be mistaken and don't let her use her illness as a crutch. Women with bi-polar are not all selfish and health forum. Please drop another note to let us know how you are doing

I did not mean to offend anyone, and am sorry if you were. I also feel sorry for jdeitsch79, which is why I was honest. As to boogaloo what you are horrified with is maybe you see yourself in what I said. I also agree that his girlfriend should be reassessed, or is not taking her meds. I meant to say that when bipolar illness is not being treated nor needs adjusting in meds this is the way actions come out in bipolar patients. Bipolar is not easy and I have respect and look up to those who do not let the illness run their lives, but are on top of it and control the illness. Boogaloo you yourself said that when medications need to be altered, this can cause problems. Boogaloo, honestly when you are on an up swing, do you run to the doctor and say, slow me down, I am moving to fast. I think not. Do you argue and say I have never felt better. I think so. Do you fight with the ones you love the most? It is hard to live with someone who is bipolar. You don't have to look far to see what the ratio is of a long marriage with a loved one who is bipolar. Please also note that when bipolar is treated and it works, the person who has the illness is not the person who is manic or depressed. The actions taken when manic or depressed are not the actions taken when in a medium level. I was not talking about the person always behaving like this just when the illness is working overtime. Jdeitsch79 I love a man who is bipolar and have been through many manics and many depressions, many fights, so many hurts. I know it is a illness, and understand everthing about bipolar but this still doesn't make me feel good when the anger is directed at me. There is enough problems in relationships, normal relationships, but there are many more when one has bipolar. She who wonders

louder then words. i have been in love with a great guy for 9 years now. his actions do not match what he says. he says really mean things to me, but he would do anything in the world for me. we've lived together for the last 4 years, he seems to nit pick at every little thing. then he says he's fed up and always want me to leave. but he doesn't do anything to accomplish that. he was told by his doctor he had bipolar disorder and his mother has told me that other family members also suffer from it. the doctor had prescibed medication. for a few months he was wonderful! no mean comments, he actually said out of the blue "he was happy". he took me out to dinner on our 5 year anniversary to the place of our first date, secretly invited our parents and kids. then started to sweat like crazy. i thought he had an allergic reaction to his food! then, he looked at me, pulled out a diamond ring and asked me to marry him!!!! i was shocked! didn't have a clue! anyway, a few months later after stopping his medication, he told me he made a mistake. i asked him to talk to his doctor about adjusting his med but he said he just stopped taking it because it didn't work anymore. is this behavior consistant with other disorder suffers?