Medical Questions > Womens Health > Birth Control Forum

Severely Allergic to Birth Control And He Hates Condoms!

Must Read
What causes allergies? We review risk factors and common allergens in this intro to allergies section....
What causes an allergy? Who is more likely to develop allergies? More here....
Which allergy symptoms are serious signs of allergic reaction and which are merely bothersome? Common types of allergy symptoms and allergic reactions here....
Hi....I have a question about what you suggest doing

i have a very rare allergy to birth control that causes brain and spinal cord swelling so in short I could die from it. My fiance and I have tried to have sex with condoms multiple times but it never works b/c he hates them so much and then he goes limp...So he's frustrated and so am I b/c we never get to finish anything.

So what have been your experiences with using a diaphram and spermicide alone?

What else would you suggest?
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied November 21st, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Have you talked to your doctor about other options? Like an iud. Usually you have to have had a child, and it is a long term choice. Like if you don't want children for the next 5 years or more, but there's one that has no hormones.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 21st, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Have you talked to your doctor about other options? Like an iud. Usually you have to have had a child, and it is a long term choice. Like if you don't want children for the next 5 years or more, but there's one that has no hormones.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 21st, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Have you talked to your doctor about other options? Like an iud. Usually you have to have had a child, and it is a long term choice. Like if you don't want children for the next 5 years or more, but there's one that has no hormones.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 21st, 2004
Experienced User
I would never use spermicide alone. It's just not a very good choice because it's no where near being very effectivbe by itself. Use it with the diaphram. When does he go limp? You could always try putting a penis ring over the condom, it'll keep the blood in his penis so it'll be harder to just 'go limp' Wink
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 21st, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Hey,cassey.Sorry to hear of your problem w/ bcp's.Have you and your honey tried durex extra sensitve condoms??They are great!!Almost like nothing at all!!!Talk with your gyn and see what she/he recommends as an alternative to bcp's.I had to stop the pill due to severe menstrual migraines,the headaches were so severe that the doc thought I was at high risk for a stroke.Bummer-i was very happy with the pill!!However, I am much older than you are and I am considering having a tubal ligation or ,if I can talk my hubby into a little snip snip!In the mean time, we are using durex condoms with the ky warming lubricant-that stuff is awesome!!!Give them both a try.Good luck to both of you.Patty
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 21st, 2004
Experienced User
Hey

check out the natural family planning thread. It looks like a lot of info, but I was very detailed so if anyone wanted to actually begin practicing birth control through natural family planning, they would be able to.

You've probably heard about it, and heard that it doesn't work. It's actually as effective as birth control (99%) and it's free, it's *drug* free, and it only takes about two minutes a day to observe the symptoms.

There are hundreds of thousands of women who have used natural family planning, for one reason or another, successfully for several years, many near 20 years.

Basically, when you are about to ovulate (the time during your cycle when you can get pregnant) your body shows three symptoms: a change in your cervix, and change in your cervical mucus which makes your vagina very fertile for sperm, when it is otherwise very hostile/acidic, and a change in temperature.

By observing these symptoms every day, (like I said it only takes about two minutes a day, one in the morning and one at night) you will be able to see when they change, and be confident when you have ovulated. You are fertile during your cycle right after your period and usually for 4 days to two and a half weeks, depending on how long your cycle is. But even if you have irregular cycles, these symptoms *always* happen, so you can be sure. And after you have ovulated, which you will know by observing these changes, you can have sex as much as you want, whenever you want, without fear of becoming pregnant because you have already ovulated--there's nothing to fertilze--until your next cycle begins (that is, the beginning of your next period, usually about 2-3 weeks, depending on your cycle). You can even have sex into the 2nd day of your period, the 3rd if you have a longer cycle (28+ days).

Some people think this is too much to deal with, but in your situation it is definitely an option that is safe, effective, cheap, and worthwhile considering. There are several books on this form of birth control if you're interested, and i'd say, considering your situation, you should definitely consider it. One is called "the art of natural family planning" and another is "taking charge of your fertility".

You can also use other forms of barrier protection (condom, diaphragm, etc.) during the days after your period when you are fertile, until you know you have ovulated. This is a bit risky because condoms, for example, are only 75% effective. But my husband and I do it, and we're not ever had a scare (we've been using natural family planning for about a year now).

Check out that thread and let me know if you have any questions. There are also several other women on this board who use this form of birth control, so ask away.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 22nd, 2004
Experienced User
So he hates condoms... That doesn't mean you should go unprotected. I have to agree with patty... Has he ever tried a thinner type condom? I know my boyfriend and I use trojan ultra pleasure with spermicidal lubricant and he says it's the practically the same feeling as when we don't use condoms. Give them a whirl, and if he still just can't keep it up then ask your doctor about other types of birth control, like sponges or diaphragms... There's a world of options.


Or, we could all take a lesson from talk sex with sue... When she gets this question about the man hating condoms, she suggests that you keep using whatever brand of condoms you have, and everytime you try to have sex with the condom and he goes limp, that that's it... You're done for the night. You keep doing that until he is so blue-balled that it doesn't matter if he has a condom on, he is going to keep his erection and he is going to finish because he just has to, or he is going to explode from sexual frustration. I don't know how well that works, but it's an interesting idea. It's great. Ok, i'm done... Have fun kids!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 22nd, 2004
Hehe she's great! I find her on tv every now and again...Lol she makes me laugh. She's just this lil old lady and it always makes me giggle when she whips out her toys and such and tells you the pros and cons. I always try to answer the questions that people ask her before she does to see how well I do...Im 23/23 so far!!! Yay for me and being well educated in sex. Hehehe
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 22nd, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
What kind of birthcontrol pill are you allergic to? Are you allergic to progesterone-only pills or depo provera shots of progesterone? If it is only the estrogen that you are allergic to, then those are options.

What is the condition that gives you such risks, and is it an actual physician who told you about that risk?
|
Did you find this post helpful?