My wife has had tmj for several years and
it has never really impacted on her
ability to perform oral sex. In february
I got a vasectomy and our sex life has
never been better.
My wife's skills in giving oral sex have
improved greatly since then and she does
take it all in (omg). Recently her tmj
has gotten more severe. She even got an
mri which confirmed that she was having a
flair-up and there was potentially some
degenerative condition present.
Does anyone know if there is a cause and
effect relationship here? Should I be
feeling guilty about making her tmj worse?
Is there hope?
bummed out
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boogaloo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2004 Posts: 33 Location: kitchener
the Same Posted: 12-14-04 01:54am
Hello--i also have tmj, and do enjoy
performing oral sex on my husband. I
can't answer your question from any
reading material or from any medical
professional's opinion, only my own.
When we go on a sex spurt and if I perform
oral sex often in a short time frame, I do
notice more pain, with difficulties even
eating and swallowing. Must be related I
think.
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tysmyboo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 8
Posted: 12-15-04 16:20pm
Bummedout...
She wouldn't do it if she didn't want
to...Don't feel bad. I have tmj and love
pleasing my man (and he's a big man) so I
do it because I want to...Although I have
tmj "ache" later....Believe me, she does
it because she loves you and she wants
to....Let her decided whether to continue
or not...(believe me she will continue)
don't feel bad, relax and enjoy it
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Steven Gambino
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 9
Posted: 12-16-04 06:15am
Bummedout,
i noticed that, so far, two women have
responded to your post. Both of them
mentioned that they noticed an increase in
tmj pain after giving oral sex to their
male partners.
I think that the three posts before mine
say a lot: three women seem to be willing
to endure pain for the sake of their
husbands' pleasure. My question is: is
it worth it, when there are so many
satisfying sexual methods and appliances
that are available?
I don't think that you should feel guilty
for what price your wife may pay to help
you to feel good. The question for me,
were I to be in your position, would be:
how could I feel good about my wife
suffering in the act and/or suffering
afterwards? ... I couldn't feel good
about it at all, especially if my wife's
tmj condition has become, in her doctor's
eyes, "more severe."
don't feel guilty. Just give her some
other opportunities. It sounds like
both of you really care about each other.
Let her know that you are as concerned
about her future pain as much as you are
about your own pleasure.
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judymarlene1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jul 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Kentucky
Tmj Syndrome And Oral Sex Posted: 07-05-07 20:38pm
Dear Bummed Out,
I have been suffering with severe TMJ
syndrome for over 17 yrs now. I have a
wonderful and loving husband. At first I
tried very hard to please him orally. It
eventually became too much pain. It
streaches the damaged areas, which in
turns inflames them. It also is putting
too much stess on the TMJ joint. There are
so many diferent ways to have a loving sex
relationship and if you truly love your
wife, don't take any changes on making her
TMJ worse. Even if she says it's okay.
Both of you be smart. Try to heal the TMJ
first, if possible. If not possible, then
look for alternatives. This will show your
wife that you care and love her enough to
give that up for her to not suffer. Just
like when she did it to let you know she
loved you that much that she would endure
the extra pain. I hope you understand. But
don't feel guilty. Be her partner in her
healing processes. In the long run you
both will be much happier. GOOD LUCK TO
BOTH OF YOU!!!
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mlh_2003
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2007 Posts: 2
Pain Vs Pleasure Posted: 07-08-07 14:35pm
I am 22 and have had TMJ problems for as
long as I can remember. I recently had a
arthrocentesis (lysis and lavage). It
revealed that my joint looks like that of
a 60-yr old's.
There is really no sure way to tell how
bad a TMJ joint is until a surgeon can go
in and look at it. All of my xrays from
the orthodontist showed nothing wrong. My
MRI only showed displacement, when the
disc thurned out to be split in two.
If it hurts her, I would not pressure her
in any way.I would actually be the one to
suggest alternatives for her.
I also like to do it for my boyfriend.
Since we are not married, we do not have
sex and find that to be the best
alternative for him. Now, I can't even
fit a sandwich in my mouth, or pleasure
him in that way.
That joint is used so much and has so much
pressure put on it daily, don't add to it.
Even if she loves to do it for you, her
health should be the most important thing.
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amyjo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 11 Location: Florida
Are You Kidding Me? Posted: 07-11-07 02:55am
Your wife has TMJ, which by the way is
EXTREMELY painful, and you are worried
about oral sex! Where is Dr. Phil when
you need him.
