Hello--i also have tmj, and do enjoy performing oral sex on my husband. I can't answer your question from any reading material or from any medical professional's opinion, only my own. When we go on a sex spurt and if I perform oral sex often in a short time frame, I do notice more pain, with difficulties even eating and swallowing. Must be related I think.

Bummedout...

She wouldn't do it if she didn't want to...Don't feel bad. I have tmj and love pleasing my man (and he's a big man) so I do it because I want to...Although I have tmj "ache" later....Believe me, she does it because she loves you and she wants to....Let her decided whether to continue or not...(believe me she will continue)

don't feel bad, relax and enjoy it

Bummedout,

i noticed that, so far, two women have responded to your post. Both of them mentioned that they noticed an increase in tmj pain after giving oral sex to their male partners.



I think that the three posts before mine say a lot: three women seem to be willing to endure pain for the sake of their husbands' pleasure. My question is: is it worth it, when there are so many satisfying sexual methods and appliances that are available?



I don't think that you should feel guilty for what price your wife may pay to help you to feel good. The question for me, were I to be in your position, would be: how could I feel good about my wife suffering in the act and/or suffering afterwards? ... I couldn't feel good about it at all, especially if my wife's tmj condition has become, in her doctor's eyes, "more severe."

don't feel guilty. Just give her some other opportunities. It sounds like both of you really care about each other. Let her know that you are as concerned about her future pain as much as you are about your own pleasure.

Dear Bummed Out,
I have been suffering with severe TMJ syndrome for over 17 yrs now. I have a wonderful and loving husband. At first I tried very hard to please him orally. It eventually became too much pain. It streaches the damaged areas, which in turns inflames them. It also is putting too much stess on the TMJ joint. There are so many diferent ways to have a loving sex relationship and if you truly love your wife, don't take any changes on making her TMJ worse. Even if she says it's okay. Both of you be smart. Try to heal the TMJ first, if possible. If not possible, then look for alternatives. This will show your wife that you care and love her enough to give that up for her to not suffer. Just like when she did it to let you know she loved you that much that she would endure the extra pain. I hope you understand. But don't feel guilty. Be her partner in her healing processes. In the long run you both will be much happier. GOOD LUCK TO BOTH OF YOU!!!

I am 22 and have had TMJ problems for as long as I can remember. I recently had a arthrocentesis (lysis and lavage). It revealed that my joint looks like that of a 60-yr old's.

There is really no sure way to tell how bad a TMJ joint is until a surgeon can go in and look at it. All of my xrays from the orthodontist showed nothing wrong. My MRI only showed displacement, when the disc thurned out to be split in two.

If it hurts her, I would not pressure her in any way.I would actually be the one to suggest alternatives for her.

I also like to do it for my boyfriend. Since we are not married, we do not have sex and find that to be the best alternative for him. Now, I can't even fit a sandwich in my mouth, or pleasure him in that way.

That joint is used so much and has so much pressure put on it daily, don't add to it. Even if she loves to do it for you, her health should be the most important thing.

Your wife has TMJ, which by the way is EXTREMELY painful, and you are worried about oral sex! Where is Dr. Phil when you need him.

I have this problem also. I love my finance very much and occasionally give it another try, but inevitably it makes my jaw worse. The pain goes away eventually but I am worried that every time I do something that makes it worse (including eating a big sand wich) that I am making it permanently worse. My dentist gave me a$300 bite plate which did nothing but cause me to chew on it compulsively in my sleep. Later I found out this method would only work if the cause was grinding your teeth and mine is almost certainly from when I had my wisdom teeth out. For now I just try to avoid things like oral sex and my partner is more than understanding about this. If I knew for sure that when I do this it isn't going to cause permanent damage, then I wouldn't mind once in a while. Your wife might do it willingly as I did (and occasionally still do) but she might be harming herself further. I think there is a very clear connection. I'd discuss it with her and be cautious. Without getting into too many details, there might be a way she could use both her mouth and hand, but more the hand. I've had some success with this but still hurt my jaw sometimes.