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chynadoll34
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2003 Posts: 9 Location: Detroit,MI
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Rape
Posted: 10-17-03 08:02am
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On tuesday a friend of mind was raped by
approximately 3-4 different guys. She is
my best friend. No one can replace our
friendship. I know that this is a very
traumatic experience, but what can I do as
a friend to comfort her. She seems very
distant from me since this has happened.
I would expect that from her because of
the experience that she had. I don't
expect her to be normal in a couple of
days, but I want to give as much support
as possible. How can I show her that?
Has anyone experience a rape and would
like to share their experience? I really
need to know what I can do as a friend to
help my best friend! I forgot to mention
that she encountered a sexually
transmitted disease call gonnerraha. So
that makes the situation extremely extra
hard to deal with, because now she may be
pregant. Unfornately, she doesn't believe
in abortions. It doesn't make her a bad
person because of that. Please help!!
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roasted
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2003 Posts: 15
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Posted: 10-17-03 08:34am
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Do you drive? Ehh well whether you do or
not i'd take her out to movies and get a
girls night out thing going. Maybe you
can invite a few other close girl friends
of yours as well. The reason I asked if
you drive is because, personally I keep a
bat in my car. I have an audio system in
my car worth a lot so that's my reasoning
behind that. I suggest you carry some
sort of weapon on you. By the way a tip
that I also heard was if you're being
raped in public, and you yell fire instead
of rape, generally you'll get more
attention/help that way. Also, say you're
walking around with her no bat or anything
with!you guys and it happens again, got
keys? Put 1!in between each finger and
take a hard swing and run. The reason I
keep saying these tips is because my
girlfriend took a class on how to beat the
hell out of a rapist so im damiliar with
this stuff, plus you have some tips in
case it happens again.
At any rate, take her to the movies, the
mall, get a girls night out thing going.
I'd say try to primarily keep!the group to
females, unless you have a few guy friends
who would be very supportive of her. I'd
also watch what you say just in case she's
sensitive to sex related comments at this
point. I hope this helps, the best of
luck to you guys!!
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qriosity
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Oct 2003 Posts: 40 Location: U.S.
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Posted: 10-17-03 09:51am
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The best thing you can do for your friend
is be there for her... If she wants you
to be. Just be yourself. Be a friend
to her. Let her know that you care about
her. But don't push her into talking
about it, when she is ready, she will.
Or she may never be ready to talk about
it. But leave that up to her.
She may not want any special attention
right now, she may need some time alone to
deal with what's going on with herself
emotionally. Or on the other hand, she
may not want to be alone at all. (you
should be able to tell by the way she acts
- she'll let yo uknow if she needs her
space) either way, it's best not to push
yourself on her right now. I know that
may be hard, cus you want to do whatever
you can for her.
Good luck. And i'm sorry that she has to
go thru this.
~qriosity~
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003 Posts: 1762 Location: Venice, Florida
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Posted: 10-17-03 19:46pm
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Oh my goodness. First of all, I am so
sorry that happened to your friend. No
one, and I mean (in caps) no one should
ever have to go through that. I think
gonnorhea (or however you spell it) is
treatable with antibiotics though. This
is a huge decision on deciding whether to
get an abortion or not. First of all,
find out if she is or not. And if she is,
let her know about adoption and such, if
she wants to keep the baby, then my god is
she amazing. I cant even imagine being in
that situation let alone what I would do.
Also, some tips. If your being assaulted,
some good moves to know are, stomp down on
the part of their foot where shoelaces go
as hard as you can with your heel. There
are many tiny bones in there that are easy
to break. Also, kick them in the nuts as
many times and as hard as you can with the
part of your foot where shoelaces go. And
a good one a teacher told me, always have
your keys out, holding the longest one
you've got in your hand. That way, you
can try and take a good jab at their eye.
I hope this helps, although I also hope
you needn't ever use it. My regards to
both you n ur friend. 
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Yazmine
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2003 Posts: 156
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Posted: 10-17-03 20:01pm
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I was also raped recently. Im very sorry
for ur friend god be with her. But from
my expierence I would say no matter what
make sure u are there consently. Call her
and talk to her all the time. Make sure
she knows she is not alone. When u talk
to her u dont even have to talk bout the
rape unless she brings it up. Let her
know ur there for her no matter what.
Yaz
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phillygurl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2003 Posts: 56 Location: philadelphia
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Some Advice
Posted: 10-17-03 21:42pm
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In july I was raped by my sisters
boyfriend and I got pregnant. I mad the
choice to get an abortion because I was so
devestated by this. Honestly there is
nothing you can really do to make her
better at the moment because her body is
going to go through some emotional changes
that may effect the people around her.
Dont take it personal if she becomes
distant, because she does not mean to do
that to you but she may feel like she
wants to be alone and isolate
herself.Please keep a close watch on her
because she may be suicidle.
Ps. Sorry to the girls on here that has
experienced rape 
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lovemlj
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Oct 2003 Posts: 2 Location: fort bragg NC
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Posted: 10-17-03 22:37pm
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I was raped four years ago. I always
thought that I was safe being 6 feet tall
and 170 lbs. Well I was wrong but one
good thing did come out of it. She has
sky blue eyes and dirty blond hair. She
is 45 inches tall at only four years old I
remember that the person who raped me was
about 6'8". I love her. My mother drove
me to a clinic but after seeing the
ultrasound I didn't want to do it I said
it was ok that I could still love her. I
have met a man that knows the truth and we
have been married a little while now.
 all I can tell you
is what I always think of "this too shall
pass" please think of your friend and what
is good for her and noone else dod what is
right for her if that means yes to an
abortion than so be it but she should know
that there is a bright side to keeping the
baby.. I call it love.
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Suzy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2003 Posts: 530
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Posted: 10-17-03 23:01pm
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Dear lovemlj,
i'm so sorry you were raped, I really had
to reply to your post and say that you are
a very inspirational person. Your story
is sad and beautiful at the same time. I
am so happy you could find it in yourself
to love your little girl. That makes you
an incredibly special person. Yes your
daughter is the result of a horific
criminal act, but she is also a little
person who has the right to live and be
loved, as it isn't her fault she is here.
She is one very lucky little girl to have
you as her mother.
Good luck and i'm sure all good things
will come to you and your family, you
deserve it.
.::suzy::.
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misguidedangel
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Oct 2003 Posts: 14 Location: texas
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Rape
Posted: 10-18-03 11:43am
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I was raped 7 years ago by an
ex-boyfriend,i became pregnant at this
time I was 16 years old ,my son was
stillborn at 7 months gestation,this
person has been stalking me ever since he
raped me again 3 weeks ago I took him to
court and due to my charges and others he
got 25 years in prison.I now have a 4 year
old son who is my inspiration,also I never
would have made it through this trauma had
it not been for my friends,just let her
know you are there for her at any
time,call her just to say I care,i am very
sorry she had to go through this horrible
thing god bless
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
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Posted: 10-18-03 16:27pm
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Chynadoll-that is a terrible story.Ur poor
friend must be devstated.Its gonna b so
hard 4 her 2 come to terms with this (was
she a virgin befre it happened?) and all u
can do really is be there 4 her,listen to
her when she needs and friend and let her
no that ur their whenever she's feeling
low.
I hope the no namers that did that have
soemthing really bad happen to them.What
kind of world r we ;iving in when this
happens to a poor girl like this?Its so
sick.
I agree with what roasted has sed (about
bat & keys) and its the same
here-people do shout fire instead of rape
cos people r too scared to get involved if
case the attacker has a gun and nowadays
where I live, many people have guns.R
world is a very scary place 2 b in.
All I can say really is that u need 2 b
there 4 her and if she needs u,she'll come
straight to u.Understand that its gonna
take time 4 her to get her head around
whats happening.She needs a gr8 friend
like u
god bless u both-i'm so sorry this has
happened
love liz x
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misty28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2004 Posts: 6 Location: Georgia
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Posted: 06-10-04 12:59pm
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Rape is a terrible thing and needs to be
controlled. I feel sorry for all rapists
and feel they are sick in the head.
Last edited by misty28 on 07-14-04 02:30am; edited 1 time in total
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
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Posted: 06-11-04 18:06pm
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I just wanted to say how very sorry I am
that you girls have gone through that.
It is amazing to me though how many women
really do get raped. Aren't the
statistics like 1 in four women or
something? And that is just the ones who
report it. Very scary.
We need to find a way to stop this
violence.
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
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Posted: 06-13-04 08:14am
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Rape is a vile & vicious act and im so
sorry anyone has had to go through that

I pity the man who'd try and do that to me

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angelbeans
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 38
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Posted: 07-08-04 23:44pm
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I am very sorry for your friend... Rape
is a horrible thing.
I would suggest just staying by her side.
Even if she doesnt want to talk. Just
being there means a lot. When something
like that happens, she more than likely
doesnt want to be alone.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 07-10-04 01:12am
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Chynadol. I am so very sorry to here
about your best friend being raped! I
agree with what griosity said and I do
hope she recognized at least one of the
rapists! I also hope that it was
reported and the police investigated
this!! I hope that she got good rape
counseling!!! I wish they would start
heavily sentencing these rapists and sex
abusers(cutting their peepee's off and
letting them slowly bleed to death would
be o.K. By me), as I know there is far
too much of this going on!!!! I hope
that her family has helped her out with
this.
All women do not react the same in a rape
or abuse!
All women should take a self defense class
where you learn what to do in these
certain circumstances and I know a lot of
us take the class and if and when it does
happen we will react differently, I do
wish you and your friend the
best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope your friend is o.K. By now, as I
am sure this is something that no one can
forget!
Sincerely,
sandy
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
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Chynadoll
Posted: 07-11-04 11:08am
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I'm so very sorry to hear all these
stories.Just be there for your friend,even
if it means you just sit and cry
together.Don't let her shut you out,just
be there for her.Do her parents know that
she was raped?She needs some
counseling,there are many sources she can
turn to .I hope she is not pregnant,but
,whatever she decides to do,just be there
for her and love her.She is very fragile
right now and needs support.Let her talk
if she wants,if not,don't push it.Bring
her some of her favorite
things(food,books,music,whatever)if you
can and try to get her some professional
help.Bless you both.Pattyv
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
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Misty28 Not Funny At All
Posted: 07-14-04 01:04am
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I just wanted to bring something to
everyone's attention. Here we are
discussing a very tragic and serious
topic.
Misty28 is a man. Aka niceguy and
guy2004. So, unless he was going to get
raped by some guys on his campus, it is
all a lie.
Some people just have way too much time on
thier hands. I guess since niceguy was
banned for improper behavior, now he has
to come back as a girl, and then another
guy. Whatever.
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