Eating Disorders Forum - the Story of a Bulimic

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Q: the Story of a Bulimic

asked by: shopalot on November 15th, 2004

New User

Hey everyone i'm new here preety much because I have finally decided to tell someone about what I have been going through! I suppose I am a bulimic but it just feels so odd saying that, it's not a term I would use to describe myself. I have been a sufferer for about two years now but nobody knows. I dont even really know how I got here all I can remember is one day I looked in the mirror and was repulsed by what I saw. Staring back at me was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen I couldnt bear to get any fatter so I went to the bathroom after lunch and had this sudden urge to put my hands down my throat and bring everything back up! At first nothing happened and I thought there was some secret tip on how other girls and guys did it but I pressed and eventually I retched and the contents of my stomache was staring back at me from the toilet bowl. That was when it began and ever since I have continued. The vomiting got more frequent and I became absolutely obssessed with what I ate(stilll am) I would drink countless glasses of water and would refuse to eat in front of others but when tucked away safely in the midst of my room I would eat and eat until my heart was content. After the binging I would feel even worse and couldnt bear to look at myself so then I would head straight for the bathroom and put my fingers down my throat. There are days when I can hardly speak because my throat is that sore and then blood would come from my nose and I would panic but I still cant stop. After each binging session and vomiting I geta pain in my chest and sometimes I feel like i'm having a heart attack! I know this will all sound pathetic but it's the only way to describe it! Nobody has suspected because i'm not what you would call thin or look as if I have an eating disorder but my friends dont think am fat either but just think i'm paranoid about my weight like every other 17yr old girl! I know that there are very serious side effects but I just cant help myself and i'm scared of what will happen to me. I cant bring myself to tell someone I just think that they wont believe me or think i'm stupid or something! But I dont know what to do anymore! Am really sorry if anyone has actually had to sit thru reading all of this and it has completely bored you but it is a relief to finally be writing how I am feeling! Thanks

Replies(6)

ladymarmalade99

replied on November 15th, 2004

New User

Don't be scared hun! It's not an option, it's a disorder. When I first told my friend that I was vomiting purposely after I ate it felt so wierd. The next 2 people was a little easier and so on. Now 5 people know and it feels good knowing you don't have to be locked up in yourself anymore. Good luck with everything!!

ArmyMommy376

replied on November 17th, 2004

New User

the Pain In Your Chest Following Bulemia

I knew a cheerleader who was bulemic. She made herself throw up everyday, after every meal. Nobody knew about it until it was too late. One day at lunch time, she ate her normal meal, then as usual disappeared to the girls' room. We all assumed it was to fix her make-up, because everytime someone would go in to talk to her, she was there with her cosmetics bag touching up her face. This time was different. She didn't return to the table like always, and it was time to return to class. One of the other girls went to check on her, and came out screaming for a teacher. The cheerleader, we'll call her "tiffany", was unconscious on the bathroom floor bleeding from her mouth and nose and just barely breathing. She was covered in vomit. The teacher assumed she must've been epileptic, had a seizure, and passed out.

She was taken to the hosptial. Tests were run, a couple of days went by, and finally the school had an assembly to address the incident. "tiffany" was bulemic, and in her last vomitting spell, she had burned a hole right through her esophagus from the stomach acid. This was the exact same thing that took the life of a wonderful singer from the 70's - karen carpenter.

I haven't seen or heard anything from that girl since it happened. She never returned to school, and none of her friends have heard from her family either. We don't know if she survived the incident or if she died. She was all of 16 when it happened. A beautiful, intelligent, popular cheerleader... But not smart enough to have known what the consequences were and that perfection isn't everything.

The point is, if you are having pains in your throat, chest, or stomach, any signs of bleeding, or if you know anybody with these symptoms, please - don't wait till it's too late. Tell qomeone now. Get help, whether it's for yourself or someone else. It'll mean the difference between life and death.

Jocelyne

replied on November 22nd, 2004

Experienced User

Have you ever thought about going to a clinic for treatment if you have blood coming out your nose or/ mouth then you are not okay and need help...You really need to get help

Jocelyne

replied on November 22nd, 2004

Experienced User

Have you ever thought about going to a clinic for treatment if you have blood coming out your nose or/ mouth then you are not okay and need help...You really need to get help

mshanson

replied on November 28th, 2004

Experienced User

don't give up! I was once where you are --- bulimic/anorectic, living my life to binge/purge/starve. Now I am happy, healthy, eat 3 meals a day & don't even think about hurting myself with food. It took me many years & lots of counseling, but I did it. You can, too, but get help because you can't fight this alone. Posting your story is a good first step!

behind_that_smile

replied on December 14th, 2004

New User

Re: the Pain In Your Chest Following Bulemia

armymommy376 wrote:

i knew a cheerleader who was bulemic. She made herself throw up everyday, after every meal. Nobody knew about it until it was too late. One day at lunch time, she ate her normal meal, then as usual disappeared to the girls' room. We all assumed it was to fix her make-up, because everytime someone would go in to talk to her, she was there with her cosmetics bag touching up her face. This time was different. She didn't return to the table like always, and it was time to return to class. One of the other girls went to check on her, and came out screaming for a teacher. The cheerleader, we'll call her "tiffany", was unconscious on the bathroom floor bleeding from her mouth and nose and just barely breathing. She was covered in vomit. The teacher assumed she must've been epileptic, had a seizure, and passed out.

She was taken to the hosptial. Tests were run, a couple of days went by, and finally the school had an assembly to address the incident. "tiffany" was bulemic, and in her last vomitting spell, she had burned a hole right through her esophagus from the stomach acid. This was the exact same thing that took the life of a wonderful singer from the 70's - karen carpenter.

I haven't seen or heard anything from that girl since it happened. She never returned to school, and none of her friends have heard from her family either. We don't know if she survived the incident or if she died. She was all of 16 when it happened. A beautiful, intelligent, popular cheerleader... But not smart enough to have known what the consequences were and that perfection isn't everything.

The point is, if you are having pains in your throat, chest, or stomach, any signs of bleeding, or if you know anybody with these symptoms, please - don't wait till it's too late. Tell someone now. Get help, whether it's for yourself or someone else. It'll mean the difference between life and death.

i never realized that you can actually burn a hole with those stomach acid..I those those acid are really bad....It sounds really scary....I mean now that I read the story about tiffany, i'm a little scared and i'm trying to tell myself, dont' do that...But when it comes to that moment..I don't think it matters anymore....I guess you won't learn until you actually suffer from it....

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