Hey everyone i'm new here preety much
because I have finally decided to tell
someone about what I have been going
through! I suppose I am a bulimic but it
just feels so odd saying that, it's not a
term I would use to describe myself. I
have been a sufferer for about two years
now but nobody knows. I dont even
really know how I got here all I can
remember is one day I looked in the mirror
and was repulsed by what I saw. Staring
back at me was the most disgusting thing I
have ever seen I couldnt bear to get any
fatter so I went to the bathroom after
lunch and had this sudden urge to put my
hands down my throat and bring everything
back up! At first nothing happened and I
thought there was some secret tip on how
other girls and guys did it but I pressed
and eventually I retched and the contents
of my stomache was staring back at me from
the toilet bowl. That was when it began
and ever since I have continued. The
vomiting got more frequent and I became
absolutely obssessed with what I
ate(stilll am) I would drink countless
glasses of water and would refuse to eat
in front of others but when tucked away
safely in the midst of my room I would eat
and eat until my heart was content.
After the binging I would feel even worse
and couldnt bear to look at myself so then
I would head straight for the bathroom and
put my fingers down my throat. There
are days when I can hardly speak because
my throat is that sore and then blood
would come from my nose and I would panic
but I still cant stop. After each
binging session and vomiting I geta pain
in my chest and sometimes I feel like i'm
having a heart attack! I know this will
all sound pathetic but it's the only way
to describe it! Nobody has suspected
because i'm not what you would call thin
or look as if I have an eating disorder
but my friends dont think am fat either
but just think i'm paranoid about my
weight like every other 17yr old girl!
I know that there are very serious side
effects but I just cant help myself and
i'm scared of what will happen to me. I
cant bring myself to tell someone I just
think that they wont believe me or think
i'm stupid or something! But I dont know
what to do anymore! Am really sorry if
anyone has actually had to sit thru
reading all of this and it has completely
bored you but it is a relief to finally be
writing how I am feeling! Thanks
|
ladymarmalade99
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2004 Posts: 42
Posted: 11-15-04 22:27pm
Don't be scared hun! It's not an option,
it's a disorder. When I first told my
friend that I was vomiting purposely after
I ate it felt so wierd. The next 2 people
was a little easier and so on. Now 5
people know and it feels good knowing you
don't have to be locked up in yourself
anymore. Good luck with everything!!
|
ArmyMommy376
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2004 Posts: 3 Location: Oklahoma
the Pain In Your Chest Following Bulemia Posted: 11-17-04 20:29pm
I knew a cheerleader who was bulemic. She
made herself throw up everyday, after
every meal. Nobody knew about it until it
was too late. One day at lunch time, she
ate her normal meal, then as usual
disappeared to the girls' room. We all
assumed it was to fix her make-up, because
everytime someone would go in to talk to
her, she was there with her cosmetics bag
touching up her face. This time was
different. She didn't return to the table
like always, and it was time to return to
class. One of the other girls went to
check on her, and came out screaming for a
teacher. The cheerleader, we'll call her
"tiffany", was unconscious on the bathroom
floor bleeding from her mouth and nose and
just barely breathing. She was covered in
vomit. The teacher assumed she must've
been epileptic, had a seizure, and passed
out.
She was taken to the hosptial. Tests were
run, a couple of days went by, and finally
the school had an assembly to address the
incident. "tiffany" was bulemic, and in
her last vomitting spell, she had burned a
hole right through her esophagus from the
stomach acid. This was the exact same
thing that took the life of a wonderful
singer from the 70's - karen carpenter.
I haven't seen or heard anything from that
girl since it happened. She never
returned to school, and none of her
friends have heard from her family either.
We don't know if she survived the
incident or if she died. She was all of
16 when it happened. A beautiful,
intelligent, popular cheerleader... But
not smart enough to have known what the
consequences were and that perfection
isn't everything.
The point is, if you are having pains in
your throat, chest, or stomach, any signs
of bleeding, or if you know anybody with
these symptoms, please - don't wait till
it's too late. Tell qomeone now. Get
help, whether it's for yourself or someone
else. It'll mean the difference between
life and death.
|
Jocelyne
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2003 Posts: 121
Posted: 11-22-04 14:11pm
Have you ever thought about going to a
clinic for treatment if you have blood
coming out your nose or/ mouth then you
are not okay and need help...You really
need to get help
|
Jocelyne
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2003 Posts: 121
Posted: 11-22-04 14:11pm
Have you ever thought about going to a
clinic for treatment if you have blood
coming out your nose or/ mouth then you
are not okay and need help...You really
need to get help
|
mshanson
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 102 Location: California
Posted: 11-28-04 22:01pm
don't
give up! I was once where you are ---
bulimic/anorectic, living my life to
binge/purge/starve. Now I am happy,
healthy, eat 3 meals a day & don't
even think about hurting myself with food.
It took me many years & lots of
counseling, but I did it. You can, too,
but get help because you can't fight this
alone. Posting your story is a good first
step!
|
behind_that_smile
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Dec 2004 Posts: 9
Re: the Pain In Your Chest Following Bulemia Posted: 12-14-04 19:31pm
armymommy376
wrote:
i knew a cheerleader who was
bulemic. She made herself throw up
everyday, after every meal. Nobody knew
about it until it was too late. One day
at lunch time, she ate her normal meal,
then as usual disappeared to the girls'
room. We all assumed it was to fix her
make-up, because everytime someone would
go in to talk to her, she was there with
her cosmetics bag touching up her face.
This time was different. She didn't
return to the table like always, and it
was time to return to class. One of the
other girls went to check on her, and came
out screaming for a teacher. The
cheerleader, we'll call her "tiffany", was
unconscious on the bathroom floor bleeding
from her mouth and nose and just barely
breathing. She was covered in vomit.
The teacher assumed she must've been
epileptic, had a seizure, and passed
out.
She was taken to the hosptial. Tests
were run, a couple of days went by, and
finally the school had an assembly to
address the incident. "tiffany" was
bulemic, and in her last vomitting spell,
she had burned a hole right through her
esophagus from the stomach acid. This
was the exact same thing that took the
life of a wonderful singer from the 70's -
karen carpenter.
I haven't seen or heard anything from that
girl since it happened. She never
returned to school, and none of her
friends have heard from her family either.
We don't know if she survived the
incident or if she died. She was all of
16 when it happened. A beautiful,
intelligent, popular cheerleader... But
not smart enough to have known what the
consequences were and that perfection
isn't everything.
The point is, if you are having pains in
your throat, chest, or stomach, any signs
of bleeding, or if you know anybody with
these symptoms, please - don't wait till
it's too late. Tell someone now. Get
help, whether it's for yourself or someone
else. It'll mean the difference between
life and
death.
i never realized that you can actually
burn a hole with those stomach acid..I
those those acid are really bad....It
sounds really scary....I mean now that I
read the story about tiffany, i'm a little
scared and i'm trying to tell myself,
dont' do that...But when it comes to that
moment..I don't think it matters
anymore....I guess you won't learn until
you actually suffer from it....
don't
give up! I was once where you are ---
bulimic/anorectic, living my life to
binge/purge/starve. Now I am happy,
healthy, eat 3 meals a day & don't
even think about hurting myself with food.
It took me many years & lots of
counseling, but I did it. You can, too,
but get help because you can't fight this
alone. Posting your story is a good first
step!