Broken Hearted Forum - Young And Confused

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Q: Young And Confused

asked by: DCgurl16 on October 15th, 2003

New User

Well I was with this guy for a year. My longest relationship before him was about 2 months lol, so being with him for a year was amazing. We fell in love and everything went well for about 3 months after that. He then lost his job and his house, so he moved in with me, he then lost his car. So thats when our relationship went downhill. One night I went to my friends house to get away from the hell and miserableness I was going through and I found out he was out with one of his old friends that was into drugs and things. So I got very upset and felt the relationship should be over, because of previous reasons, he hit me and such. So he left and went to that friends house. I was still in love with him and just couldnt leave. I begged for him back and he was the one I lost my virginity too, so of course he was special. He said he missed me too and we continued to see each other for about a week, when strange girls began calling his cell phone and I finally found out he was cheating on me. I immediately dumped him and gave up on him. He found a different girl and began going out with her, I am now with someone I care very much about. But sometimes I still remember good times with him and miss him a little. He was my first love. I heard he was moving down south and I feel like im gonna miss him? Why do I feel this way?? Embarassed

Replies(5)

insurancegirl

replied on October 15th, 2003

Extremely eHealthy

Your Going to Be Attached to Him Forever...

Because you lost a part of you to him, and this is normal... But you have to find someone that you are truely happy with. However it's not always going to be wonderful. Like I posted, i'm happy that you are not planning on having sex again (anytime soon) and that you should work things out with your bf (now). As for your ex, and as was explained to me in the "marriage..." post, this guy is an ex for a reason and you need to think of all the reasons y. There is no reason to go back and he should remain to be labeled "ex".

Good luck sweetheart,

jennifer Laughing

niceguy

replied on October 15th, 2003

Experienced User

Keep His Memories Alive

Thats why they say a girl never forgets her first love. For you he will
always be special because he won your heart the first time.

But at this point you should be practical, even though it hurts a lot.
Try not to let his memories get in the way of future relationships including your current one.

He is gone. Face that fact and move on. But continue to love the moments you shared with him.

phil dennison

replied on November 17th, 2003

Experienced User

Dr.dennison

You just seem out of the ordinary. Any one I know would be gone the first smack and forget about him and be happy that he didn't find your pocket knife. Well you must see it as champion wrestling. I suggest the three "g"
get over it
get away from it
get on with your life. Oh ya' I forgat one
good luck. Rolling Eyes

expectingjoshua

replied on December 15th, 2003

New User

You're Better Off!

Having experienced something kinda similar, I know that sometimes I still miss my ex too. When I was 14, I started dating this guy and our relationship lasted 7 months. I knew that at that point he had cheated on my once (within the first month of our relationship to boot!) and figured I was better off without him. So we stayed apart for two months, and then got back together for another three or so. It was a very up-and-down year for me, and after all was said and done I found out that he had been cheating on me a lot more than I had ever realized or ever would have imagined. And although he never raised a hand to me, the emotional stuff was more than enough pain for me at that point.
My advice? Accept that you may always have feelnigs for him. I still do, and it has been nearly 6 years since i've even seen him, much less spoken to him! I rack it up to the fact that I lost my virginity to him, he was the first guy I ever loved as more than a friend, and losses such as these always hurt. But am I better off without him?
Much! I wish him all the happiness, but someone else can deal with his crap!
Best of luck! Wink

saturn24

replied on December 16th, 2003

Experienced User

You feel that way because you loved and supported him. You never quit loving someone. Even though you are in love with someone else, you will never forget the good times with someone else. But look at it this way, yes you are much better off. He found some other girl to support him. Better her than you. Men, or women for that matter, who need someone to carry them are not worth it. Unless it is a mutual decision for only one partner to work. And I am sure that you didn't like carrying him. And you said that he hit you? That right there should have been goodbye time.
But anyway, don't feel guilty about thinking of him occasionally. It will slowly go away until it is completely gone.

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