I Am New

just to let you know that I am new too. Have not been on one of these sights for a long time. But the black cloud is with me again. Just in the last year, my mother lost her job, my youngest sister had a brain blood vessel burst in her head, had surgery and now has lost part of her frontal lobe and is no longer herself. My grandmother broke her hip and is now in a long term care facility waiting to die - although she is 90 years old. I just recently went in for an mri scan on my brain and they have found something on my brain stem. I have to go and see the neurosurgeon in two weeks for him to tell me what it is.
So....... Ya I am depressed again. I have been on antidepressents for almost a year now (effexor xr) and it had been doing okay but now I think I am going to loose it big time!!! I am sorry to hear about yourself. I know how terrible it can be. Maybe we can talk to oneanother about our problems and such. It takes time to trust and weather each other huh?
Anyways - gotta go now I am going to surf around.
I am a newbie here, maybe I will become and oldy as I see it.

Thanks for writing back .
I am so sorry to hear about all the health problems you and your family are having . I lost my dad 3 years ago and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him, especially when I hear tears in heaven by eric clapton .
I hope that when you see the doctor he can tell you good news because god knows you could use some right now!!
As for ending it all to lose the pain you are going through right now, i'll tell you the same thing that sometimes works for me. I believe that it is a cowards way out and that to stick it out makes you stronger. I also have 3 kids and I often wonder how they would react. That can sometimes pull me in check and I can get on with life. That doesn't mean that I don't have those thoughts many, many times because I have had pills in my hand, wondered what it would be like to just run off the road and into the river on my way home. But i'm still here and maybe we can both find a way to help each other through that black tunnel when you can't see any light at the end of it.

Take care
cathy