Natural Family Planning-an Alternative to the Pill (Page 1)
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Birth control is helpful in preventing pregnancy. Need to know more about birth control? Start here to learn more about popular methods of birth control....
You have many birth control options. Each works differently. What are the choices and what should you consider in order to help you make your decision? ...
Each method of birth control comes with risks to your health. What are the general problems you could encounter?...
This can be a "how to" thread as well as a place share stories, ask questions etc.
My husband and I have been using the nfp method of birth control for almost a year now and have not gotten pregnant.
It is very easy to do, it is free, it only takes two minutes a day, and it is an excellent way to strengthen your relationship (divorce rate among average married couples is more than 50%, divorce rate among couples who use nfp less than 4%). It is also as effective as birth control pills and more effective than condoms.
The way it works: your body gives three tell-tale signs every month that you are about to ovulate, are ovulating and/or have ovulated. This is true even if your cycle is irregular; it is still possible to know when you have ovulated.
Nfp is for couples who both want to get pregnant or do not want to get pregnant, by teaching them what the symptoms are and how to check them, so you can know if you are ovulating/fertile or not.
Before we get into the details of the symptoms, let me say that there are books on this method that will be able to help you with a lot more information that I will give you. The one I read was called the art of natural family planning. It is the only method that suggests you use all three symptoms to tell if you are fertile or not. Other methods recommend just two or one. But with using three, you have two cross-checks to make sure you know when you are fertile.
Basically: our bodies are designed to go through a monthly cycle. When one thing occurs it causes a reaction which leads to another. For example, a certain hormone will end your period. In about a week (it's different for everyone and unwise to try to count the days) you will ovulate. (we'll look at how to tell those in the next post). When you ovulate, an ovum, or egg, is relased from your ovaries. The follicle in your ovary that released the ovum then turns into a hormone which signals to your brain to build up the lining of your uterus (why you begin to feel bloated, crampy, etc.) if the ovum or egg is not fertalized it does not attach to the lining of your uterus which causes another hormone reaction that sheds the lining--your period. Birth control pills force this reaction so that, even if the egg is fertilzed, your lining will shed anyway.
Cycles range any where from 21-45 days. Even with such a broad range it is possible to tell when you are ovulating, and be confident that you are fertile or not fertile.
Once you ovulate, it is impossible to get pregnant because there is nothing to fertilze. You typically will have about two weeks (possibly shorter or longer, depending on the length of your cycle) when you can have sex without fear of getting pregnant.
If you do want to get pregnant, you simply have sex during the days you are fertile.
You cycle begins on the first day of your period. The first day you have your period is considered "day 1" of your cycle. Your cycle lasts until you have your period again. The last day before you next period is considered the last day of your cycle and the first day of your next period is the first day of your next cycle.
You can also have sex during the first 2-3 days of your cycle (2 if your cycle is short, 3 if 28 days or longer) and not get pregnant, if you are comfortable having intercourse during your period. In over 40 years of studies and hundreds of thousands of women charting their cycles for months and months and months, only one pregnancy has resulted from intercourse on the fourth day of a period. It is extremely unlikely, but it has happened, so it is recommended that you do not have sex any later than the third day of your cycle.
After your period ends you will have a few days before you ovulate. The longer your cycle is, the more days you will have between the end of your period and the day you ovulate. You can still get pregnant if you have sex between the end of your period and the day you ovulate, i'll explain that in the next post about symptoms of ovulation. You can't count the days because it varies month to month depending on diet, exercise, stress, sickness, etc., and it is different for every person.
We'll get into the signs of ovulation in the next post.
After you ovulate, and you are *sure* that you have ovulated, you can have sex as many times as you want until your next cycle begins (the first day of your next period) and you will not get pregnant. Some women have been known to ovulate twice in one cycle, but this is very uncommon. However, it is good to check your symptoms every day (it only takes about two minutes of your entire day) to be sure, as you would be able to tell through the symptoms if you have ovulated a second time. But like I said , *this is very uncommon*
My husband and I have been using the nfp method of birth control for almost a year now and have not gotten pregnant.
It is very easy to do, it is free, it only takes two minutes a day, and it is an excellent way to strengthen your relationship (divorce rate among average married couples is more than 50%, divorce rate among couples who use nfp less than 4%). It is also as effective as birth control pills and more effective than condoms.
The way it works: your body gives three tell-tale signs every month that you are about to ovulate, are ovulating and/or have ovulated. This is true even if your cycle is irregular; it is still possible to know when you have ovulated.
Nfp is for couples who both want to get pregnant or do not want to get pregnant, by teaching them what the symptoms are and how to check them, so you can know if you are ovulating/fertile or not.
Before we get into the details of the symptoms, let me say that there are books on this method that will be able to help you with a lot more information that I will give you. The one I read was called the art of natural family planning. It is the only method that suggests you use all three symptoms to tell if you are fertile or not. Other methods recommend just two or one. But with using three, you have two cross-checks to make sure you know when you are fertile.
Basically: our bodies are designed to go through a monthly cycle. When one thing occurs it causes a reaction which leads to another. For example, a certain hormone will end your period. In about a week (it's different for everyone and unwise to try to count the days) you will ovulate. (we'll look at how to tell those in the next post). When you ovulate, an ovum, or egg, is relased from your ovaries. The follicle in your ovary that released the ovum then turns into a hormone which signals to your brain to build up the lining of your uterus (why you begin to feel bloated, crampy, etc.) if the ovum or egg is not fertalized it does not attach to the lining of your uterus which causes another hormone reaction that sheds the lining--your period. Birth control pills force this reaction so that, even if the egg is fertilzed, your lining will shed anyway.
Cycles range any where from 21-45 days. Even with such a broad range it is possible to tell when you are ovulating, and be confident that you are fertile or not fertile.
Once you ovulate, it is impossible to get pregnant because there is nothing to fertilze. You typically will have about two weeks (possibly shorter or longer, depending on the length of your cycle) when you can have sex without fear of getting pregnant.
If you do want to get pregnant, you simply have sex during the days you are fertile.
You cycle begins on the first day of your period. The first day you have your period is considered "day 1" of your cycle. Your cycle lasts until you have your period again. The last day before you next period is considered the last day of your cycle and the first day of your next period is the first day of your next cycle.
You can also have sex during the first 2-3 days of your cycle (2 if your cycle is short, 3 if 28 days or longer) and not get pregnant, if you are comfortable having intercourse during your period. In over 40 years of studies and hundreds of thousands of women charting their cycles for months and months and months, only one pregnancy has resulted from intercourse on the fourth day of a period. It is extremely unlikely, but it has happened, so it is recommended that you do not have sex any later than the third day of your cycle.
After your period ends you will have a few days before you ovulate. The longer your cycle is, the more days you will have between the end of your period and the day you ovulate. You can still get pregnant if you have sex between the end of your period and the day you ovulate, i'll explain that in the next post about symptoms of ovulation. You can't count the days because it varies month to month depending on diet, exercise, stress, sickness, etc., and it is different for every person.
We'll get into the signs of ovulation in the next post.
After you ovulate, and you are *sure* that you have ovulated, you can have sex as many times as you want until your next cycle begins (the first day of your next period) and you will not get pregnant. Some women have been known to ovulate twice in one cycle, but this is very uncommon. However, it is good to check your symptoms every day (it only takes about two minutes of your entire day) to be sure, as you would be able to tell through the symptoms if you have ovulated a second time. But like I said , *this is very uncommon*
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the First Symptom - Temperature
Every month your body shows three symptoms when you are ovulating, and by understanding these and checking for them, you can tell when you are ovulating (fertile) and know whether or not to have sex (depending on if you want to have a baby or not).
1. The first symptom is your temperature. Your temp varies through out the day, and even day to day, by tenths of degrees (for example, you may wake up with a temp of 97.6 and in about two hours it could be 97.9 or 98.0). If you want to use natural family planning as a form of birth control you will need to check your temperature every morning when you wake up, which only takes about 30 seconds. You can record it later since thermometers (traditional and electronic) "remember" the temp.
The temperature that your body is at when you wake up is called your "basal body temperature". Some stores sell "basal" thermometers, and some people feel these are more "sensitive" but is perfectly ok to use regular thermometers to check your temp. You will need to check your temp at the same time every day because it will rise by a 10th of a degree every half hour or hour, making your symptoms appear inaccurate if you are not consistent. What I have done is set my alarm for a certain time in the morning so that even if I don't have to get up that early on a particular day, I will still take my temperature. It takes less than 30 seconds and when i'm done I can go back to sleep if I want to. Your temperature will vary from day to day by one or two 10ths of a degree (on monday, it could be 97.4, tues 97.3 wed 97.4, thurs 97.4, fri 97.5, etc.)
on the day you ovulate, your temperature will "jump" 3 or 4 tenths of a degree (one day it will be (for example) 97.4 and the next it will be 97.7 or 97.
. If you have ovulated, you will know because your temperature will remain elevated (3 or 4 tenths of a degree higher than what it was normally right after your period) for at least three days, usually four or five.
If you check your temperature every day, and keep track of it by writing it down or making a graph that shows day 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. Across the bottom and temperatures (starting at 96.0, then 96.1, 96.2, 96.3, etc. All the way to 100.00) on the side, you will be able to keep track of your temperature, and you will be able to see when it "shifts" (jumps up a few 10ths of a degree) and stays that way.
This is the easiest way to tell if you are ovulating. It is possible to use only this symptom to see if you have ovulated, but to be sure you should cross check with the other two symptoms, which are explained in the following posts
(to be posted at a later time)
1. The first symptom is your temperature. Your temp varies through out the day, and even day to day, by tenths of degrees (for example, you may wake up with a temp of 97.6 and in about two hours it could be 97.9 or 98.0). If you want to use natural family planning as a form of birth control you will need to check your temperature every morning when you wake up, which only takes about 30 seconds. You can record it later since thermometers (traditional and electronic) "remember" the temp.
The temperature that your body is at when you wake up is called your "basal body temperature". Some stores sell "basal" thermometers, and some people feel these are more "sensitive" but is perfectly ok to use regular thermometers to check your temp. You will need to check your temp at the same time every day because it will rise by a 10th of a degree every half hour or hour, making your symptoms appear inaccurate if you are not consistent. What I have done is set my alarm for a certain time in the morning so that even if I don't have to get up that early on a particular day, I will still take my temperature. It takes less than 30 seconds and when i'm done I can go back to sleep if I want to. Your temperature will vary from day to day by one or two 10ths of a degree (on monday, it could be 97.4, tues 97.3 wed 97.4, thurs 97.4, fri 97.5, etc.)
on the day you ovulate, your temperature will "jump" 3 or 4 tenths of a degree (one day it will be (for example) 97.4 and the next it will be 97.7 or 97.
. If you have ovulated, you will know because your temperature will remain elevated (3 or 4 tenths of a degree higher than what it was normally right after your period) for at least three days, usually four or five.
If you check your temperature every day, and keep track of it by writing it down or making a graph that shows day 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. Across the bottom and temperatures (starting at 96.0, then 96.1, 96.2, 96.3, etc. All the way to 100.00) on the side, you will be able to keep track of your temperature, and you will be able to see when it "shifts" (jumps up a few 10ths of a degree) and stays that way.
This is the easiest way to tell if you are ovulating. It is possible to use only this symptom to see if you have ovulated, but to be sure you should cross check with the other two symptoms, which are explained in the following posts
(to be posted at a later time)
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the Second Symptom- Cervical Changes
Throughout your cycle your cervix will normally be low, firm and closed. When you are about to ovulate it will raise, soften and open up. These changes can be hard to observe the first time you try natural family planning because you have nothing previous to compare them to. But once you begin observing symptoms in the second month it will become much more clear.
It is not too difficult to check your cervix each day, and only takes a matter of seconds. The biggest hang up people have with it is the process which requires you to insert two fingers into your vagina to feel where the cervix is at. For me, this hang up was easily overcome as I learned more about my body and that it goes through a cycle that I was born with, that it does without me telling it to, that I no longer have to pop a pill once a day and hope-to-god it worked because I didn't really know what it was doing or if it was doing enough of it.
Checking your cervix is similar to inserting a tampon. You can do so if you've never had intercourse before. You can check sitting down on the toilet, or standing with one foot on the toilet or tub. It seems to be most convenient to check your cervix while you're taking a shower and once before bed. You simply insert two fingers into your vagina a "feel for the top". If you've never done this before, or if you're like me and had and wondered what in the world that thing was in there, that's you're cervix! It feels like a channel or "tube" that comes down from the top. Really, it's like the "gate" or "door" in to your uterus. The bottom of it feels a little bit like a donut
at the end of a cycle, when you are about to start your period, your cervix will raise up, or get higher, maybe harder to reach. You can tell this by feeling the length of it (it's normally about two finger-widths long but when it's raised up it is harder to grasp in between your two fingers). It will also feel wider, or more "squatty" against the top of your vagina. This is happening so that you can begin your period.
After the first few days of your cycle (when you're period is beginning to end) you will notice your cervix getting lower and firmer again. It will stay this way until a few days before you ovulate. The bottom of the cervix that you can easily touch with the tip of your finger will feel like a tight little donut. It may even feel like there's a little bump or "flat" bubble right in the center. This is a plug of cervical mucus which is the third symptom we'll talk about later.
A few days before you ovulate your cervix will raise up and get very soft. The opening on the bottom will feel a little "floppy", almost like you could stick your finger in it (but don't do that, just be aware of the change that's happening). The day before and the day you ovulate your cervix will be very high, "squatty", soft and open.
The day after you ovulate, sometimes two days after, you will notice it change very quickly back to firm and low, and closed again.
All of this occurs anywhere from 5 days to two or two and a half weeks after your period, depending on your cycle. And even if your cycle is irregular, you can still observe this symptom, even though it may not happen consistenly the same amount of days following your period each cycle.
This symptom of raising, softening and opening, followed by lowering firming and closing will coincide with your temperature (the first symptom). The day after you ovulate your temperature will jump 3 or 4 tenths of a degree (ie. From 97.4 to 97.7 or 97.8 ) and stay there consistently for at least three days, while your cervix will noticably change from high, soft and open to low, firm and closed.
Once you are confident you have ovulated, by observing your cervix and temperature and comparing the two, you can have sex as often as you want until your next cycle without concern of getting pregnant, usually about two or two and a half weeks.
If you want to get pregnant, you should have sex when you know you are about to ovulate. This time can last anywhere from 3 days to a week and a half.
It is not too difficult to check your cervix each day, and only takes a matter of seconds. The biggest hang up people have with it is the process which requires you to insert two fingers into your vagina to feel where the cervix is at. For me, this hang up was easily overcome as I learned more about my body and that it goes through a cycle that I was born with, that it does without me telling it to, that I no longer have to pop a pill once a day and hope-to-god it worked because I didn't really know what it was doing or if it was doing enough of it.
Checking your cervix is similar to inserting a tampon. You can do so if you've never had intercourse before. You can check sitting down on the toilet, or standing with one foot on the toilet or tub. It seems to be most convenient to check your cervix while you're taking a shower and once before bed. You simply insert two fingers into your vagina a "feel for the top". If you've never done this before, or if you're like me and had and wondered what in the world that thing was in there, that's you're cervix! It feels like a channel or "tube" that comes down from the top. Really, it's like the "gate" or "door" in to your uterus. The bottom of it feels a little bit like a donut
at the end of a cycle, when you are about to start your period, your cervix will raise up, or get higher, maybe harder to reach. You can tell this by feeling the length of it (it's normally about two finger-widths long but when it's raised up it is harder to grasp in between your two fingers). It will also feel wider, or more "squatty" against the top of your vagina. This is happening so that you can begin your period.
After the first few days of your cycle (when you're period is beginning to end) you will notice your cervix getting lower and firmer again. It will stay this way until a few days before you ovulate. The bottom of the cervix that you can easily touch with the tip of your finger will feel like a tight little donut. It may even feel like there's a little bump or "flat" bubble right in the center. This is a plug of cervical mucus which is the third symptom we'll talk about later.
A few days before you ovulate your cervix will raise up and get very soft. The opening on the bottom will feel a little "floppy", almost like you could stick your finger in it (but don't do that, just be aware of the change that's happening). The day before and the day you ovulate your cervix will be very high, "squatty", soft and open.
The day after you ovulate, sometimes two days after, you will notice it change very quickly back to firm and low, and closed again.
All of this occurs anywhere from 5 days to two or two and a half weeks after your period, depending on your cycle. And even if your cycle is irregular, you can still observe this symptom, even though it may not happen consistenly the same amount of days following your period each cycle.
This symptom of raising, softening and opening, followed by lowering firming and closing will coincide with your temperature (the first symptom). The day after you ovulate your temperature will jump 3 or 4 tenths of a degree (ie. From 97.4 to 97.7 or 97.8 ) and stay there consistently for at least three days, while your cervix will noticably change from high, soft and open to low, firm and closed.
Once you are confident you have ovulated, by observing your cervix and temperature and comparing the two, you can have sex as often as you want until your next cycle without concern of getting pregnant, usually about two or two and a half weeks.
If you want to get pregnant, you should have sex when you know you are about to ovulate. This time can last anywhere from 3 days to a week and a half.
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This Is Good
I have used this method sucessfully too. I read a book:
taking charge of your fertility: the definitive guide to natural birth control, pregnancy achievement, and reproductive health (revised edition) by toni weschler
this has charts for you to use and pictures. Its really great!
Darkv
taking charge of your fertility: the definitive guide to natural birth control, pregnancy achievement, and reproductive health (revised edition) by toni weschler
this has charts for you to use and pictures. Its really great!
Darkv
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the Third Symptom--cervical Mucous
This symptom accomagnies the changes in your cervix.
When your cervix is low, firm and closed, if you feel the bottom of your cervix with your index finger (the part that feels sort of like a little donut) you might even feel a smooth little bump/bubble in the middle. This is the cervical mucous.
Cervical mucous forms a plug in your cervix preventing sperm or anything else from entering your uterus. A few days before you ovulate (it differs for every person and every cycle) as your cervix begins to soften, open and lift up, the mucous is released.
Normally your vagina is very acidic and a harmful environment for sperm. They live anywhere from a matter of hours to 72 hours in "post ovulation" conditions (the environment of your vagina after you've ovulated). However, before ovulation the mucous of your cervix, which is typically white/opaque and sort of tacky like putty, changes to clear and very stretchy. This changed mucous makes your vagina a very fertile environment for sperm and they have been known to survive up to a week under these conditions.
You can observe your cervical mucous at the same time you observe the changes in your cervix. After inserting two fingers in to your vagina and feeling your cervix to see where it is at in your cycle, place one finger on either side of your cervix. With gentle pressure, move your fingers downward on your cervix until they are at the end (it only takes a matter of seconds). Keep your fingers together as you remove them from your vagina. This is sometimes called "milking" the cervix.
When you remove your fingers, you will notice discharge, or mucous. It varies in appearance and texture from woman to woman, especially if you have an std. But for the most part, it is usually tacky (some what like putty, maybe a little more stretchy) and opaque.
In the days before you ovulate, the mucous will become more and more stretchy and more clear. You will know when you are about to ovulate because the mucous will be nearly clear and you can stretch it between your thumb and forefinger almost as wide as, sometimes further than, your fingers will go.
Another symptom that accompanies the change in your cervial mucous is a feeling of wetness. Almost every woman feels this almost every cycle when they are about to ovulate. There is increased moisture that comes along with the change in cervical mucous. This wetness occurs on the outside of your vagina, usually between the labia (the inside of your vagina is always moist).
Observing this symptom, along with the changes of your cervix and temperature, you can be certain of when you have ovulated.
It may take about two months to get accustomed to the symptoms, if you've never tried to observe them before. But you will soon get the hang of it.
You will know you have ovulated when your mucous has been clear and stretchy, followed by your cervix softening, raising up and the opening widening, and your temperature jumping 3 or 4 tenths of a degree (ie from 97.4 to 97.7 or 97.8 ) and staying there for at least three days (you *must* wait to see if it stays raised at least three days. If it goes down after that it is ok, but if it goes down before, you may have just had a slight fever or changed your morning routine slightly, and there is a possibility you have not yet ovulated. Be sure to wait until your temperature has been raised for three days before you have sex).
After you have observed all three of these symptoms, you can have sex without becoming pregnant until your next cycle begins (the beginning of your next period). You can typically have sex through the second day of your period without risking becoming pregnant, sometimes the third day if you have a longer cycle.
Of course, if you *want* to become pregnant, you simply observe these symptoms and when you see that you are about to ovulate, you have sex.
When your cervix is low, firm and closed, if you feel the bottom of your cervix with your index finger (the part that feels sort of like a little donut) you might even feel a smooth little bump/bubble in the middle. This is the cervical mucous.
Cervical mucous forms a plug in your cervix preventing sperm or anything else from entering your uterus. A few days before you ovulate (it differs for every person and every cycle) as your cervix begins to soften, open and lift up, the mucous is released.
Normally your vagina is very acidic and a harmful environment for sperm. They live anywhere from a matter of hours to 72 hours in "post ovulation" conditions (the environment of your vagina after you've ovulated). However, before ovulation the mucous of your cervix, which is typically white/opaque and sort of tacky like putty, changes to clear and very stretchy. This changed mucous makes your vagina a very fertile environment for sperm and they have been known to survive up to a week under these conditions.
You can observe your cervical mucous at the same time you observe the changes in your cervix. After inserting two fingers in to your vagina and feeling your cervix to see where it is at in your cycle, place one finger on either side of your cervix. With gentle pressure, move your fingers downward on your cervix until they are at the end (it only takes a matter of seconds). Keep your fingers together as you remove them from your vagina. This is sometimes called "milking" the cervix.
When you remove your fingers, you will notice discharge, or mucous. It varies in appearance and texture from woman to woman, especially if you have an std. But for the most part, it is usually tacky (some what like putty, maybe a little more stretchy) and opaque.
In the days before you ovulate, the mucous will become more and more stretchy and more clear. You will know when you are about to ovulate because the mucous will be nearly clear and you can stretch it between your thumb and forefinger almost as wide as, sometimes further than, your fingers will go.
Another symptom that accompanies the change in your cervial mucous is a feeling of wetness. Almost every woman feels this almost every cycle when they are about to ovulate. There is increased moisture that comes along with the change in cervical mucous. This wetness occurs on the outside of your vagina, usually between the labia (the inside of your vagina is always moist).
Observing this symptom, along with the changes of your cervix and temperature, you can be certain of when you have ovulated.
It may take about two months to get accustomed to the symptoms, if you've never tried to observe them before. But you will soon get the hang of it.
You will know you have ovulated when your mucous has been clear and stretchy, followed by your cervix softening, raising up and the opening widening, and your temperature jumping 3 or 4 tenths of a degree (ie from 97.4 to 97.7 or 97.8 ) and staying there for at least three days (you *must* wait to see if it stays raised at least three days. If it goes down after that it is ok, but if it goes down before, you may have just had a slight fever or changed your morning routine slightly, and there is a possibility you have not yet ovulated. Be sure to wait until your temperature has been raised for three days before you have sex).
After you have observed all three of these symptoms, you can have sex without becoming pregnant until your next cycle begins (the beginning of your next period). You can typically have sex through the second day of your period without risking becoming pregnant, sometimes the third day if you have a longer cycle.
Of course, if you *want* to become pregnant, you simply observe these symptoms and when you see that you are about to ovulate, you have sex.
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Nfp= no !**@! protection. I don't know about you but I am not playing russian roulette with something as big as pregnancy..
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Wow, sounds like a whole lot of unnecessary work to make sure you do or don't get pregnant. You can always just have your man roll on a condom or the woman can simply take a pill/slap a patch on and that's it (if you dont want to be pregnant)... I really dont like the idea of having to "map" out the good days to have sex. Sex shouldn't be something you have to schedule in on certain days. Part of the fun of sex is the spontaniety of it. If you don't want to get pregnant, use protection every time and have fun. If you do want to get pregnant, then dont use a condom/pills/whatever, and have fun trying to conceive.
Ooh, catch that word I used there? "fun"? Yeah... I think this natural family planning stuff sucks the fun out of life and makes sex seem more like some sort of chore or small animal you have to keep track of... Lame.
Ooh, catch that word I used there? "fun"? Yeah... I think this natural family planning stuff sucks the fun out of life and makes sex seem more like some sort of chore or small animal you have to keep track of... Lame.
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Hey gals, this thread was just to specifically explain the way nfp works, because it's come up in a lot of different threads.
Ask anyone on this board who uses nfp, it works (obviously, that's why they use it) and it has a lot more benefits than popping pills and and hoping to god it works. It's free, it's *drug* free, it's as effective as birth control pills (99%) and more effective that condoms (only 75%) and it fosters communication between partners.
If you just want to get it on whenever you what, fine, do what you need to. But if you're involved in a serious relationship and want to take resonsibility for yourself, your actions, your relationship and your body, this is a great alternative.
Yes, it does look like a lot, but there's a lot of explanation so women can be sure of what they're doing. Simplified: it's three easy steps that take two minutes a day to being in control of your body and your life. Pretty valuable and important if you ask me, and any other woman using natural family planning.
You look pretty young by your picture, and your post gives me the impression that you have an attitude that you could care less, just get it on. And that's fine for you. But let's leave this post for the women who are interested in an alternative to patch, pill, or shot.
Ask anyone on this board who uses nfp, it works (obviously, that's why they use it) and it has a lot more benefits than popping pills and and hoping to god it works. It's free, it's *drug* free, it's as effective as birth control pills (99%) and more effective that condoms (only 75%) and it fosters communication between partners.
If you just want to get it on whenever you what, fine, do what you need to. But if you're involved in a serious relationship and want to take resonsibility for yourself, your actions, your relationship and your body, this is a great alternative.
Yes, it does look like a lot, but there's a lot of explanation so women can be sure of what they're doing. Simplified: it's three easy steps that take two minutes a day to being in control of your body and your life. Pretty valuable and important if you ask me, and any other woman using natural family planning.
You look pretty young by your picture, and your post gives me the impression that you have an attitude that you could care less, just get it on. And that's fine for you. But let's leave this post for the women who are interested in an alternative to patch, pill, or shot.
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Don't Knock It Till You Try It
In response to starshyne,
like I said, nfp is more for people who are involved in serious relationships, rather than casual sex. Being aware of your body and aware of your cycle does not remove spontaneity and fun from sex. Far from it. On the days you can't have actual intercourse, you learn to get really good at taking care of your partner in other ways (you can also use condoms or some other form of barrier protection on these days if you choose).
I used to be really self concious about giving oral sex to my husband. Because of using nfp, I learned how to do an awesome job (and I do give an awesome job) and I can do that whenever I want now and surprise him if I just want to show him I love him, but don't feel like having sex, not just when I can't have sex. And visa versa for him.
Like I also said, if you just want to get it on, fine, there are plenty of other options, but if you are in a serious relationship, nfp teaches partners to communicate with and respect each other. My husband has to learn that just because he's worked up doesn't mean he has to get it right then and there (although, that can be really fun and exciting). He's learned to control his urges and repect me when i'm not ready (like we haven't had enough foreplay) or when I don't want to (sick, tired, etc.).
I've learned to be more spontaneous and creative in taking care of his needs which I never would have learned if we just got it on whenever we wanted, there wouldn't have really been a need to.
Nfp makes you grow, teaches you responsibility and respect for your partner.
You said "i think this natural family planning stuff sucks the fun out of life and makes sex seem more like some sort of chore or small animal you have to keep track of... Lame." if learning about your body and taking control of your sex life, learning to communicate with your partner is a chore for you, the yes, nfp is not for you.
like I said, nfp is more for people who are involved in serious relationships, rather than casual sex. Being aware of your body and aware of your cycle does not remove spontaneity and fun from sex. Far from it. On the days you can't have actual intercourse, you learn to get really good at taking care of your partner in other ways (you can also use condoms or some other form of barrier protection on these days if you choose).
I used to be really self concious about giving oral sex to my husband. Because of using nfp, I learned how to do an awesome job (and I do give an awesome job) and I can do that whenever I want now and surprise him if I just want to show him I love him, but don't feel like having sex, not just when I can't have sex. And visa versa for him.
Like I also said, if you just want to get it on, fine, there are plenty of other options, but if you are in a serious relationship, nfp teaches partners to communicate with and respect each other. My husband has to learn that just because he's worked up doesn't mean he has to get it right then and there (although, that can be really fun and exciting). He's learned to control his urges and repect me when i'm not ready (like we haven't had enough foreplay) or when I don't want to (sick, tired, etc.).
I've learned to be more spontaneous and creative in taking care of his needs which I never would have learned if we just got it on whenever we wanted, there wouldn't have really been a need to.
Nfp makes you grow, teaches you responsibility and respect for your partner.
You said "i think this natural family planning stuff sucks the fun out of life and makes sex seem more like some sort of chore or small animal you have to keep track of... Lame." if learning about your body and taking control of your sex life, learning to communicate with your partner is a chore for you, the yes, nfp is not for you.
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I have control over my sex life, and I am in a serious relationship. I don't need some elaborate plan in order to be responsible... I'm being responsible by being on birth control pills, and we use condoms too. I don't need to "get it on whenever" I feel like, but I dont think everyone needs some ridiculous plan to dictate when they can have sex. Everyone has their own way of doing things, and that's fantastic. I just thought I would share my opinion on this subject. So don't jump all over me with your uneducated claims about how I live my life.
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I was simply saying that you have what works for you, and i'm offering information on an alternative to what works for you because what works for you doesn't work for a lot of people.
I was not jumping all over you, I was just responding to your opinion which is contrary to what i've explained here, *which is fine*. But the fact remains that you have not tried nfp, and you don't have to. I never, in any way, said this is the only right way to practice birth control, it was simply another option that people commonly have misconceptions about but are very interested in, and I am happy and capable to provide information about. No need to take it personally.
I was not jumping all over you, I was just responding to your opinion which is contrary to what i've explained here, *which is fine*. But the fact remains that you have not tried nfp, and you don't have to. I never, in any way, said this is the only right way to practice birth control, it was simply another option that people commonly have misconceptions about but are very interested in, and I am happy and capable to provide information about. No need to take it personally.
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I did it for a year. I did love it, but I got a big head. I figured, I know what's up. I don't need to keep track of all this. And then....Pregnant. You really need to stay on top of things.
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Dear jriegel,
you really like to push the fact that nfp is free, *drug* free, which is cool, because I know there are a lot of people that dont want to have to put all kinds of drugs into their system. But, condoms are drug free as well. Something to think about.
you really like to push the fact that nfp is free, *drug* free, which is cool, because I know there are a lot of people that dont want to have to put all kinds of drugs into their system. But, condoms are drug free as well. Something to think about.
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I Like It
It's really not that complicated. This is only my second month trying it, and really, it's nowhere near as complicated as it sounds. I'm teaching my partner how to do it so we can both feel secure that we're out of the danger zone.
We can still be spontaneous, just mindfully spontaneous.
And I feel more in control because I know what's happening inside me, not just that "according to the instructions ..." we *should* be safe.
We can still be spontaneous, just mindfully spontaneous.
And I feel more in control because I know what's happening inside me, not just that "according to the instructions ..." we *should* be safe.
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Starshyne
i completely agree with you. But condoms are significantly less effective than bcp or natural family planning--only 75%. That means in a room of 100 people who engage in sex using a condom for protection, 25 of them are likely to get pregnant.
Like I said, my husband and I do use condoms during the week that I am fertile, which is a risk we knowingly take, and so do many other nfp couples. After that however, we don't use any thing because, by observing the three symptoms, we know for sure that I have ovulated and there is no need to worry.
Earth mother: it is so important to get your mate involved. My husband was really nervous about the whole thing when I first started talking about it. But we borrowed "the art of natural family planning" from a friend and read a chapter together every night (i used bcp for the first 9 months we were married). After reading it together, he was completely supportive because he understood that it's totally scientific and he also recognized the benefits it has for our relationship--that we are both proactive about our family, our sex life, etc., not just him counting on me to pop a pill every day. He became very open to communicating with me about this, and we have had excellent opportunities to talk about starting a family, are we ready? What are we afraid of? Hoping for? Etc.
It's really strengthened our relationship, our ability to trust each other and depend on each other, and respect each other.
i completely agree with you. But condoms are significantly less effective than bcp or natural family planning--only 75%. That means in a room of 100 people who engage in sex using a condom for protection, 25 of them are likely to get pregnant.
Like I said, my husband and I do use condoms during the week that I am fertile, which is a risk we knowingly take, and so do many other nfp couples. After that however, we don't use any thing because, by observing the three symptoms, we know for sure that I have ovulated and there is no need to worry.
Earth mother: it is so important to get your mate involved. My husband was really nervous about the whole thing when I first started talking about it. But we borrowed "the art of natural family planning" from a friend and read a chapter together every night (i used bcp for the first 9 months we were married). After reading it together, he was completely supportive because he understood that it's totally scientific and he also recognized the benefits it has for our relationship--that we are both proactive about our family, our sex life, etc., not just him counting on me to pop a pill every day. He became very open to communicating with me about this, and we have had excellent opportunities to talk about starting a family, are we ready? What are we afraid of? Hoping for? Etc.
It's really strengthened our relationship, our ability to trust each other and depend on each other, and respect each other.
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Actually, if used properly and in combination with spermicidal lubricants and such condoms are supposed to be just as effective as any other form on birth control (99.9%)... Pretty sure about that, i've read that dozens of times in several different sources. Whatever... We all have differing opinions and such and whatever works for ya, works for ya! 
p.S. No method is 100% effective in protecting against pregnancy except not having sex, and since that doesn't ever happen, it's good to have a wide array of options.
p.S. No method is 100% effective in protecting against pregnancy except not having sex, and since that doesn't ever happen, it's good to have a wide array of options.
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Well how is it when u are pregnant?
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| starshyne530 wrote: |
| actually, if used properly and in combination with spermicidal lubricants and such condoms are supposed to be just as effective as any other form on birth control (99.9%)... Pretty sure about that, i've read that dozens of times in several different sources. Whatever... We all have differing opinions and such and whatever works for ya, works for ya!
p.S. No method is 100% effective in protecting against pregnancy except not having sex, and since that doesn't ever happen, it's good to have a wide array of options. |
not trying to drag this out, but it depends on what you like about sex. Some prefer condoms, spermacide, and pills. Some prefer sex a la natural. It may be a lot of work, but the it's worth it. Just you and your man and no man made materials getting in the way.
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| kitty2luv wrote: |
| well how is it when u are pregnant? |
yeah I would like to know that too...Just in case.
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Do you know what they call people who practice nfp in hospitals? Parents. Lol!
Seriously though, when my sister got married someone from church made her feel very bad and guilty about choosing birth control pills (my sister has never been very strong in standing up for herself). My sister and her husband both took nfp classes and read several books. Three months after being married and four months using nfp, surprise, surprise, my sister found out she was pregnant. After my niece was born, my sister and her husband again decided to use nfp and a month later, she was pregnant again. My two nieces are exactly 10 months apart. My second niece was born and my sister decided not to take any chances. They used nfp once more after taking yet another class, convinced that they had done something wrong and it got to the point where my sister was afraid to have sex with her husband for fear of becoming pregnant again. Five months after my second niece was born, my sister again discovered she was pregnant. After my nephew was born, she had had enough and not only had her tubes tied but encouraged her husband to have a vasectomy. My sister's experiences with nfp were quite enough to prove to me that I wanted nothing to do with it. Also, a few of your posts make it seem that if you're not using nfp, then you're not communicating with your partner. I have never used nfp and my husband and I have always enjoyed an incredible connection.
Seriously though, when my sister got married someone from church made her feel very bad and guilty about choosing birth control pills (my sister has never been very strong in standing up for herself). My sister and her husband both took nfp classes and read several books. Three months after being married and four months using nfp, surprise, surprise, my sister found out she was pregnant. After my niece was born, my sister and her husband again decided to use nfp and a month later, she was pregnant again. My two nieces are exactly 10 months apart. My second niece was born and my sister decided not to take any chances. They used nfp once more after taking yet another class, convinced that they had done something wrong and it got to the point where my sister was afraid to have sex with her husband for fear of becoming pregnant again. Five months after my second niece was born, my sister again discovered she was pregnant. After my nephew was born, she had had enough and not only had her tubes tied but encouraged her husband to have a vasectomy. My sister's experiences with nfp were quite enough to prove to me that I wanted nothing to do with it. Also, a few of your posts make it seem that if you're not using nfp, then you're not communicating with your partner. I have never used nfp and my husband and I have always enjoyed an incredible connection.
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