My husband and I have talked about it, but it was all fantasy. We would never do that. Some couples can handle it, some can't.

To be honest, it sounds like your husband was just curious or got caught up in the moment. It's easy to do. As long as he is going to be faithful to you, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

You are so wrong

This is a very old post btw!

Personally I'm in a monogamous relationship and so wouldn't it isn't something myself or df would ever consider but it can work for some people if BOTH parties want to try this and are prepared for the actual 'event' as opposed to the fantasy of it. I know one couple who are open and have a very strong marriage, they regularly bring other people (men and women) into their bed and it works for them. Each relationship is different and it comes down to what both partners are happy, comfortable and secure enough with

Why not? Seems to me he asked for a reason and is exploreing another side to BOTH your sexuality. My wife and I have had both mww and mmw types of threesomes and it has opened up new avenues of sexuality for the both of us. I do not get even slightly jealous if she is enjoying another man more than me, and she doesn't get jealous if I am enjoying another woman more than her. It's the fact that we are enjoying eachother and wanting the other to live out a fantasy in a safe, sane environment. It has brought us closer to eachother and has deepened our respect for eachother. Sexuality has no limits, when I read your post I thought, how sad that you could only think of yourself and not think of the possibilities.
Many of you will say I'm a crackpot or something, but deep down you all really understand what I'm saying, except fot the religeously narrowminded morally better than thou few who read this or the absolute man haters among us.

Trust me...Men are all alike and they all think about the same things. Me and my husband have a great sex life and we have discussed a threesome also. It's just something men fantasize about. If he loves you and treats you right, don't sweat it girl. It's nothing new. Talk to him about it. you dont have to agree to do it but dont freak out. Let him know how you feel without insulting him and see if he respects how you feel. But honestly. they all think about it. Just alot of them dont share it with their wife/girlfriend. Hope this helps and I hope everything works out!

i think this is an old topic but i just wanted to say i had this same issue a while back with my boyfriend...he had sort of a threesome with his high school girlfriend apparently and it was with another girl but they didn't go all the way supposedly...he's "been" with only his highschool gf besides me. He's the only guy I've been with and honestly I haven't even thought about being with any other guy, but one day he brought up having a dream about a threesome with another man, I pushed it off and said it was weird and then he kept asking about it, trying to get it to happen asking if I would ever do it..my answer from the beginning had always been NO..NO NO NO NONO...i was raised in a religious family and was always taught to wait until marriage, i made a personal decision that since i do love him and wanna be with him not to wait....we've been together almost 2 years now and the issue has subsided...but i wondered the same thing...i would NEVER consider "sharing" him in any way with another girl..how could he even think about another guy with me! I was appalled, if he truly loves me why would he wanna share me? It hasn't been brought up since then and its not something I could ever do..ever...we talked about it, and i straight up told him either you respect the fact that this isn't something i'm comfortable with...and continue to be faithful to me, or you can decide now that this fantasy isn't something you can live without and we just need to end things...he said he loved me..cared about me and wanted to be with me...so..thats that..but it still bugs me when i think about it, i want to make him happy..i would do anything to make him happy, but i come first...and i dont wanna demoralize myself and i would probably hate him for making me do it anyway and that would ruin the relationship

Don't do it if you don't want. but speak to him.

I say go for it.. I mean after all it will make the relationship stronger and more solid right?? NOT!!!!!!!!

i just think as the old saying goes..that its sort of "opening pandoras box"..you know, basically at this point he's the only guy i've ever been with..i feel like introducing another guy (though he says it wont) would cause jealousy and trust issues, i feel like he would be asking me if the other guy was better or if i'm not as satisfied with him now that i've been with another guy, or maybe he would start to think i'm cheating on him, who knows...i just dont see it benefitting us in any way at all...

My deceased husband asked me for that when we had only been married a year and he also wanted it to be my sister, I said no and that the thought appalled me and hurt my feelings because I felt that if a person dosent realize marriage is exclusive then why get married? He apologized and said he had been drinking too much..To make a long story short after 10 years of marriage I found out that not only was he addicted to every kind of porn there was but that he had done practically all of it and even at his work place he was cheating on me with the secretaries, I left him and one year later he found out he had aids, thank God I never got it! He is dead now but it still haunts me that I didnt leave him that day. I wasted too many years on someone who didnt ove me and thought of women as anything but objects. I would say any man who asks that question is already way too into the fantasies of porn then he should be, and his thought life will eventually not be enough.

thats good that this works for you and your wife and all...call me oldfashioned but when I get married i'm promising myself(body and mind) to ONE person...not one and whoever else they decide to bring into our bedroom....no, i'm not sharing myself with another man..and if i SEE you with another woman..best believe it will be the worst day of your life...bc i wont stand for that...whats the point in getting married? seriously? why dont you just stay single and go out and sleep with anyone/everyone you want? You dont care that shes enjoying another man more than you? Are you kidding? I cant do that...it isn't ok for my man to want another woman..i'm sorry its not...if I'm not enough..fine, go find a girl that will screw you and every other man she comes across and good luck on that relationship and keep your fingers crossed that you dont get an STD...i have morals and I just dont believe in sharing juices with alot of people...i could never date a man with a long sexual history, i wouldn't want him to touch me....my current boyfriend has only had one sexual partner before me..thats fine...but if you have a whole list of partners, i'm not interested because obviously we dont have the same views on sex

I don't know how anyone could share they're partner with someone else. I just couldn't do it. i love my guy too much to watch him kiss another girl. I probably would've done when i was younger. maybe more to please him. I wouldn't know though. I sure as helldon't dream of doing it with another guy. the way i see it. you've done one, you've done them all. i think i'm getting a bit old. i'm only 29 but no, i couldn't ever do it. Not with another girl and not with another guy.
Don't even worry about it though. All guys fantasise about it. He shouldn't opened up about it but obviously he is very comfortable with you and thought he would. No ones perfect. As for magazines and stuff, someone wrote about it earlier, don't worry about it. My boyfriend has one or two , plus porn, at home and on his phone. I guess it's natural. Don't you have your fantasies too. I mean he doesn't flaunt it. Doesn't watch infront of me. it's all discreet. I'm ok with it. Just don't let it get you down ok.

Maybe it's sick but isn't it rather because the husband knows that one of the girls (his wife) still will be there afterward ? Compared to being single, when single you still have the danger of losing both, so being married is like having insurance, a "backup partner". I know not all guys think that way, but may the sinners be cursed with an itching butt and too short arms to scratch it.

I don't see threesomes as much of an insult because I don't mind not having one, neither do I mind having one. I'm kind of neutral there. If my partner would ask me, okay ; but I would probably not bring it up because frankly, how is it even technichally possible to accomplish? I just can't imagine the situation without one of the 3 being on the side, boringly waiting...

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus...

There are some men who have strange fantasies, like threesomes, etc...
which are a bit weird,
there are some men who just want to have flings...hey, I even heard once on the Jerry Springer Show that a guy wanted a 3some on their honeymoon night! pfff...

Love is so very complicated, and we should ask ourselves...is that really love?

and after all this...there are still men who know what love is about : two people who love each other, who don't want another to satisfiy there fantasies or needs, because they know that the gem that they've been lookin' for is right there in their arms...

Where you are, it's not really a Win Win situation...
If you say NO...he's probably going to want it even more(like when a mum says no to their child because they want some candy...the child screams and wants it even more), or cheat on you...(maybe not, I don't know you're husband)

If you say YES...well...blablabla...you go through the 3some and what do you know...you're husband will probably find it cool...because well let's face it : all men are pigs...(by the way...I'm a guy)...

I don't know what's happened with the world...but I find that for most people love is all about sex, or cheating or wanting another party in bed with the couple...
It shouldn't be like that...love is...well...just like the love stories...

So if I were you, I would say NO...it's disgusting, and besides...you're husband will look at that other person in another light...(and in most cases, it's not to hate)

i don't think you should do it bc it would spoil what u guys have now what if u start being paranoid over it u might not be able to come back from it good luck whatever u decide to do

but the person you promised your life to should not be considered a "back up partner" thats horrible!
I guess my main issue with this is when I'm in love with someone..i dont share...the way i see it, a full commited relationship means you are with one person physically mentally emtionally and that should be plenty...i could never ever imagine seeing my man with another woman..it would break my heart into pieces, i dont want to know that another woman is pleasing him...no..thats for me..he's for me, all of him.....and i guess since thats the way I feel..i sort of expect that thats how he should feel? but...men are different...i dont know...

Just in case: I wasn't defending the threesome idea, I said it was sick. I just tried to put a theory behind it.

For the rest I totally agree with you.

gtg

my boyfriend asked for a threesome with another woman and actually told me that if i wasn't okay with that then he would break up with me. besides this matter, everything else was great, and i couldn't believe that something like this was such a big deal to him, worth more than our relationship. but the thing is that i was cool with it. i'm into girls a little bit so i didn't mind inviting a hot chick into bed with us for both of us to enjoy. my only rules for the experience were that i got to choose the chick, and he wasn't allowed to contact her afterwards. it's not that i was afraid that he'd like her more, i just wanted it to be a one time experience that me and him could reminisce about without any drama or complications. he wants to do it again, and i do too. it worked out since i set the rules and he followed.

My husband wants the same thing and i let it go to far without me and now i just dont know. It would just snow ball into something else more and more

I am in the same situation as user 5678 is. My husband wanted a threesome with another woman so I brought up having a threesome with another man. We have been married for almost 15 years and we have always fantasied about it. I do it for him, not for me. Now he wants to take it to the next step and do it. He says he is not gay but wouldn't mind touching another guy's private parts. How can someone not be gay but enjoys the pleasure of touching someone else of the same gender's private parts?