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My Husband Wants a Threesome (Page 1)

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The other night during sex my husband asked me if I ever thought of having a threesome. This has completely broken me. I would never even consider it. Now I dont know what to think. We've never had any problems in the sex department before but now I feel as if I cant satisfy him or that he doesnt really love me or that he wants to have sex with someone else. Am I reading too much into this?
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JCSC2
replied November 2nd, 2004
Experienced User
There are a lot of men out there that think about threesomes. I have before, however I would never bring up the subject and I know that would ruin the relationship even if she agreed. Your husband just made a mistake by talking aloud about it. He probably has been watching porn or heard a buddy or something. Good luck.
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BADSAL
replied November 2nd, 2004
Experienced User
Don't worry about it. I think most men think about it at some point. It probably isn't that he is not satisfied with you or you are doing anything wrong. Don't let it ruin what you have. From what my hubby has said and from friends I know- most guys have a "dream" of being with 2 chics. I'm not sure what the major turn on is- but they think it nonetheless.
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ravenmfoster
replied November 2nd, 2004
You Cool
First of all from what I have learned that is every mans or at least the majority of mens fantacy. Now as far the actual thought you are right to eighty-6 the idea because your body is a temple and you sex is sacred and intimate for you and you man and for him to suggest that was kind of selfish knowing that you weren't that type of girl I had a friend to had a threesome to satisfy her man with her friend and him and friend had ongoing sessions so I wouldn't gamble on that and if he feels as if he can't satisfied any other way tell em two fingaz! Now I will advise you to speak with him about the situation lack of communication will not get you any where see if there is anything else that may spice up your sex life becuase he is definately hinting at more variety in your sex life! Holla back and let me know the outcome! Twisted Evil much luv!
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PattyV
replied November 3rd, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I agree that many guys think about threesomes,but when it comes down to it,it is just a fantasy.I think many guys would not like to see their wife/girlfriend enjoying someone more than then them.It all sounds good on paper,but in reality, there are usually more problems when there are three in the bed.I knew a woman who left her husband for the other guy that he brought home for her!!I also know a woman who left her boyfriend for the woman who was in the threesome.Let him have his fantasy in his head,if he persists on an actual threeway,tell him the reasons why you do not want it.Good luck!Patty
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itsjustmeagain
replied November 3rd, 2004
Turn the Tables
Why don't you tell him that your fantasy has always been to be with two men? Then tell him that you will agree to his fantasy, if you can have what you desire, first! Tell him that you would love to see him and another man, doing things with each other -- tell him that you just didn't want to say anything before -- and assure him that you are extremely serious about this. Then, tell him you would really love to take pictures of him, while he and the other man are "experiencing" each other. Tell him that it would turn you on so much that you would not be able to stand just watching -- and that you would have to join the two of them, at some point. (once he hears all about your fantasy, see if he is actually wants to continue trying to push/pressure you into something that you really don't want to do.) the bottom line is that if he won't mind you being with him and another man, then he has a much more serious problem than you think. No "sane man" wants his wife to be with another man! Anyway, stand up for yourself -- what is fair for the goose is fair for the gander. If he persists in wanting to live out his fantasy, then kick his butt out of your bed -- you deserve a man who really loves you!...Not a flake, who thinks in terms of wanting to use you and other women as sexual objects.

Good luck,
jane
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BADSAL
replied November 3rd, 2004
Experienced User
Wow jane, that is an excellent idea. I doubt the man would agree to something like that. Hopefully it would make him realize what he suggested isn't really appropriate.
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JCSC2
replied November 3rd, 2004
Experienced User
Re: Turn the Tables
[quote="itsjustmeagain"]why don't you tell him that your fantasy has always been to be with two men? Then tell him that you will agree to his fantasy, if you can have what you desire, first! Tell him that you would love to see him and another man, doing things with each other -- tell him that you just didn't want to say anything before -- and assure him that you are extremely serious about this. Then, tell him you would really love to take pictures of him, while he and the other man are "experiencing" each other. Tell him that it would turn you on so much that you would not be able to stand just watching -- and that you would have to join the two of them, at some point. (once he hears all about your fantasy, see if he is actually wants to continue trying to push/pressure you into something that you really don't want to do.) the bottom line is that if he won't mind you being with him and another man, then he has a much more serious problem than you think. No "sane man" wants his wife to be with another man! Anyway, stand up for yourself -- what is fair for the goose is fair for the gander. If he persists in wanting to live out his fantasy, then kick his butt out of your bed -- you deserve a man who really loves you!...Not a flake, who thinks in terms of wanting to use you and other women as sexual objects.


Good luck,
jane[/quote


i am sure that would go over well. Two wrongs don't make a right. You would just be dragging out the conflict. I am a man and men don't always say the most intelligent things. People say inapropritate things sometimes.]
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becki0000
replied November 4th, 2004
I really dont want to see my relationship end over this. We had been out drinking and he says he didnt realize what he was saying. I say thats bullcrap. I just wish I knew what was the underlying motive to it but ya cant get inside someones head.
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jriegel
replied November 4th, 2004
Experienced User
He probalby said he didn't know what he was saying because he was embarrassed, and, in my opinion, rightfully so.

It seems like you've already talked to him about it but I would encourage you to be open with him that you are not turned on by that. In fact, it offends you be cause it makes you feel cheap, incapable of satisfying him, like second best, etc. (however it makes you feel). If he really cares about you he will learn that even in a microwave society we can't always have what we want, infact it is better and more loving to go without those things (and maybe consider a different perspective like why that would be wrong in a meaningful relationship).

Best of luck
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swimmer
replied November 10th, 2004
Experienced User
Every man wants a threesome......Just no man ever really gets it lol
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callie8323
replied December 15th, 2004
Experienced User
Kinda Know How You Feel
I know this is a little diffrent but my boyfriend of three years when I first meet him he had a collection on magazines ect. I told him to get rid of them that I did not like them. Well last weekend while I was cleaning I found the magazines under his bed. Not playboy really dirty magazines it hurt me so bad it was also couples togther and girls. When I saw that I felt like he did not want me his anwser to that was he felt I did not want him anymore which wasn't true we got threw this I forgave him and told him that if he does this again its over im not living my life like that. When I meet him I was a lot smaller so when I saw that stuff I felt like now that ive gained weight thats why he had those magazines. He said he just like seeing people ya know doing it. Im still hurting but I got to move on.
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Roxy
replied December 28th, 2004
Hello all:)
I totally agree with ijma. Ask your mate if he would allow you,him,and another man in the bed.See if he gets the point! Take care.
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5678
replied August 4th, 2007
Reply to "my Husband Wants a Threesome"
When my husband propositioned me about a threesome with another woman I tried the "well how about a threesome with another man" approach. I was a little more than shocked to hear him agree. My husband is a very masculine and "manly' type man (raised blue collar and conservative) and would never consider himself gay. But I can not help but feel confused by this fantasy of his to have sexual interactions with another male. I am thankful that he would tell me about it instead of going behind my back and living a "double life." However on the same account, I would not really consider myself a lesbian after having a threesome with him and another female....or really bisexual for that matter--perhaps just experimental. We are both young and after seeing the many postings on internet of married men looking for discreet sexual interactions with other men....I really am glad he has not gone behind my back. I dont know if I should be concerned about our future and if one day he may decide he likes men more and leaves me stranded. There are so many questions and thoughts I have and am just wondering if anyone has any input on this...or advice. thanks much.
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nightangel73
replied August 11th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
if my fiance tells me he want sa threesome I would break the engagement at the very moment and if I were married i would be getting ready to file a divorce. What kind of wedding vows are those of "i will be true to you in good times and bad blah blah and then suddenly say I want to have sex with someone else involved too. God that is so freaking nasty..oops. Sorry it's my honest opinion.
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popminer
replied August 16th, 2007
Experienced User
to me, any form of threesome is like cheating.

sex is meant for people that love eachother, not just flings.

i think threesomes are the start of what could get people to cheat, because they think so much about having another person.

am i making sense?
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s_kalb
replied August 17th, 2007
Experienced User
popminer wrote:
am i making sense?


You are.

However, some couples are sooo well glued together that nothing, NOTHING can blow them up (gosh I envy them) ; not even an attractive naked opposite sex. If they feel that way, like unable to leave each other, they can do a threesome without fear of abandon.

However, both have to want the threesome. It's not an obligation to have a threesome just to prove that your couple is serious Confused
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meblonde01
replied August 17th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I have known a lot of couple that say they are glued.. they where swingers and had 3 somes.. They said it made their relstionship better. NONE of them are together today..
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s_kalb
replied August 17th, 2007
Experienced User
meblonde01 wrote:
I have known a lot of couple that say they are glued.. they where swingers and had 3 somes.. They said it made their relstionship better. NONE of them are together today..


That's true. But just saying that your relation is perfect doesn't make it so now does it Wink Indeed I'm talking about "it is", not "they say".

But I got your point Wink
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childofgod777
replied August 29th, 2007
Threesome
O.K. If you don't listen to anyone else, PLEASE listen to me. Never, ever, think about doing this. If he ask about it once, I'd bet that it will come up again. Make it very clear to him, IT AIN"T GONNA HAPPEN. Do not have any long discussions about it, because before long he will be trying to rationalize it. Eventually, you may give into it, to save your relationship. Then, you will lose him anyway, because, as much as he thinks it would be wonderful, after it is done he will lose respect for you, and you will lose respect for yourself. You should never give up your moral standards for someone else's sick desires. I'm speaking out of experience. It took me many years to get over what I had done. I became self destructive. I couldn't look myself in the mirror, and I knew he couldn't stand to look at me afterwards. It was the end of that relationship. I would also step back and take a long look at the relationship as it is right now. It sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you now by even asking you to do such a thing. I hope you showed him a good amount of shock and disappointment in him for asking this of you Shocked A man that truly loves a woman, if he has any decency at all would never do this. Don't think this has anything to do with you not pleasing him, or your own sexuality. It doesn't. It has everything to do with HIM. He as lacking something in his character and integrity. This is not your problem, it's his, so be careful and don't make it yours. I will be praying for you.
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