Hello,

i am not sure if I am bi polar or not. Reason being are numerous.


I have never been hospitalized
this is a long story, so will try to condense it. I first went to a therapist, age 32, because being assaulted and ptsd. Ok, therapy went ok for about a year, then all of a sudden, I am experiencing major menstral problems, I had starting feeling better and better, until I was psychotic and knew it. Even though, extremely manic, I was able to maintain, to make sure my younger children ok. They diagnosed me manic depressive and I have found out, that women and men who have been assaulted can have the exact same symtoms or mimic bi polar.

Lilithum never did anything for me, so I ended up taking dopokote which totally ruined my ability to be motivated. I talked to a psychitrist at a treatment center and he said assaulted women are admitted here often thinking they have bi polar disorder.


A year ago, I found, a tool that removes emotional trauma and have been doing this for a year. The most noticeable effect is my sleep is getting better.

The change in time no longer effects me like it used to. I have not experienced any manic symtoms.


The worst part is this, I am adddicted to anti depressants and have tried unseccesssfully to get off them. The shrink says not to worry. This past summer when to er for tick bite and doctors said the kind of antidepressant I am taking is pure poison. For almost three years now, no depokote, just klonopin and the antidepressant. I have not had any wild mood swings and the stress I am under would certainly cause at least one manic like episode. My daughters are now teenagers and I feel I have lost almost half my life.


Now, all I do is try to get off the two remaining meds. Klonopin seems to be easier than the anti depressant. I become major sick, when I do not take the anti depressant. Elavil


my shrink refuses to hear anything I say, becomes angry when I show her anything that is helpful outside of her direction.

If I did not need elavil, I would never go back to see her but I have tried more than once to get off it in the past year of so.


Do not know what to do. I am afraid the med has messed up my system and there is no getting off and also have found out, the side effects are terrible but shrink says, no way this can have these side effects. The pharmcist says different. They totally disagree with pscyh. On side effects.



In writing this, I see that I feel powerless with my psychiatrist.