It happened a few yrs back.. But I realized I can never forget it. Will start to cry whenever I see or read something that will remind me of it.

I had a miscarriage. At 16yrs old.

There are a few close friends I shared it with, talked it out. But I realized I need to share it with someone who truly understand what I feel and how it was... And then I found this forum. So perhaps someone here can help me...

I was alone and scared. Thought it just might be my period. Even went to put on a pad. (ain't it funny in a way?) but I knew something was wrong.. The bleeding was very heavy flow and continous. It was so painful I couldn't even stand during shower. Up till now I had no idea why it happened.

I was going for an abortion, but in the end I went for an evacuation of the womb, even though the foetus had already fallen out when I was in the toilet. Flushed away.. Just like that.

The surgery was my worst nightmare. When they inserted this thing(later they put a small bottle of anesthesia there which flowed into my body immediately) into the back of my palm, it was so painful I cried.. Until I dozed off. Some time later, I was woken up to go for the surgery. Then the anesthesia made me unconscious again... And when I woke up.. Untolerable pain at my abdominal. After that was so weak kept vomiting.. And bleeding still down there.. Which continued for abt 1mth.

Typed until here.. Somehow the words above seems so.. Inadequate? They don't even fully describe how I felt.. And what I went thru... Which is so much worse..