Sexual Health - Women Forum - Help!!!! Misery On Account of My Labia Minora :'(

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Q: Help!!!! Misery On Account of My Labia Minora :'(

asked by: catch22 on October 27th, 2004

New User

Okay, i'm not sure if this is an appropriate topic but for a very long time i've been struggling with severe low self-esteem on account of this problem and this is the only place I could think to go. I'm a little embarassed by this post but hungry for some advice, consolation, etc etc

ever since hitting puberty i've had the notion in my head that I am ugly and deformed. This is because my labia minora is significantly larger than my labia majora and protrudes out.

Only a month ago did I find out that I wasn't a "freak" or "disfigured" or something to that extent. I've been under the impression that I am "ugly down there" since fifth grade. While I should be relieved that there are other women with vaginas like my own, i'm not.

I have felt terribly repressed in more ways than one. I restricted how intimate I could get with a significant other and inevitably stunted relationships. It's not that I didn't want to be closer to this person, it's just that I didn't want them to see me. . .Also, it's uncomfortable and occasionally embarassing to wear certain clothes and swimsuits.

I have read articles claiming that some men prefer larger labia minoras, finding them more erotic. In some cultures, it is a superior sign of beauty to small labias that stay tucked within. But even this doesn't help me.

I'm a girl, I actually have a vagina and I still had little concept of what a "normal" vagina was. How could I expect a guy to know any different, especially seeing as how this one in particular is a virgin. If anything, he's been exposed to a million perfect airbrushed porno pictures. And that certainly won't help me. If i, myself, thought I was shameful and ugly---what's to keep him from thinking so? I know that you probably want to say that he'll love me for me, not my vagina, but that's a hard thing to hear....It's not really as comforting as one would think.

Especially when there are sites that spit out statistics such as http://www.Vaginainstitute.Com/2004/ideal_ vagina/perfect_vagina/perfect_vagina.Html I actually cried over that article, seeing as how it only confirmed my paranoia.

Is there anyone out here how has a similar labia minora to my own? Have sexual partners ever commented on it? Do men actually find it attractive or are they repelled by it? Also, has anyone had a labiaplasty? That procedure sounds like an extreme, but I have been so miserable on account of myself down there, as vain as this sounds. . .If so, was the labiaplasty as satisfactory as some claim? Was the recovery inordinately painful? What's the minimum age or price for a labiaplasty?

The idea of surgery scares me. But so does that website to which I linked above...

I guess i'm just looking for some reassurance, seeing as i've found it nowhere else. . .

Any response would be greatly appreciated

Replies(24)

fighter12389

replied on October 27th, 2004

New User

Hi! Well actually this is a question foryou. Now I don't want to sound stupid or anything but what are the labia minora and the labia majora? Where exactly are they? I this sounds stupid but i'm tring to understand the situation.

Thankyou

darkV

replied on October 28th, 2004

New User

Feel Beautiful!

You poor thing, I know what you feel like. I thought the sam thing about myself for a long time. It took a fair ammount of reading, femminist books mostly, to realize two things: one, vaginas are as different as breasts, area as different as hair types. This is really true. Ive actually looked at a picture book (not porn, since porn is all faky aribrushed bs and you should never compair yourself to it!) of vaginas and realized they are all different, and have different sized labyas. Number 2: all vaginas are beautiful! They are all wonderful life giving flowers. I pormise you that once you accept these things you will view yourself as bautiful, with more confidence and your lover will see that confidence and see the beauty of your vagina! I went through the same years of torture for nothing. My boyfriend loves it caus I love it too.

Darkv

catch22

replied on October 28th, 2004

New User

But a guy has never said anything about it? I can't imagine how hurtful it'd be to get to the point of being able to expose myself for a guy I care about so much and then have him....Disgusted isnt the right word but its the only one that comes to mind :-/

oh, and fighter12389----there are two sets of "lips" on the vagina, one is external and the other pair (labia minora) stays tucked inside the external one (labia majora). However, some women are different and their labia minora is larger/longer than that of the labia majora. For a long time I thought I was just messed up down there, and that feeling of being 'ugly' was so deep and lasted for so long that the knowledge that i'm not the only female with this still falls short of consoling me. It's been kind of drilled into my brain ever since puberty. :-/ more and more i'm realizing that vaginas really are unique to each person, just as the rest of the body is. Some have internal labia minoras, some don't, some even have assymetrical lips. The thing that bothers me is its taking so much effort on my part to come to love my vagina (or at least stop hating it), how can I expect a guy to accept me? And articles like the one I linked to above certainly don't help. . .There is a procedure called labiaplasty that reduces the labia minora's size/length/whatever. Surgery is a big extent for vanity, seeing as how I haven't had any health problems insofar on account of it. . .The real fear is being labeled a freak or something, it's a kind of juvenile fear I guess, but it's pretty real. I was just hoping someone could clue me in on the reactions of males to vaginas like my own :-/ i've never told anyone about this because i'm too timid and besides, when does that come up in casual conversation lol? Just looking for a few answers. If i'm lucky, the answers wont hurt too terribly bad.

juniper

replied on October 28th, 2004

Experienced User

I have one of those strangely formed inner labia. The right one is much longer than the right and can stick out from the outer (like i'm sticking out my tongue or someting). Both are long, just one is longer.

I've never, ever, had a guy comment on it. Never. I've never had any man say that a vagina is disgusting. I've never had my guy friends say that they ever thought that any woman's vagina was unappealing. Guys love vaginas. Period, there's no way around it. They associate the look of them with the feeling of pure pleasure they get and they can look a hundred different ways and they're gonna like them no matter what.

My current partner loves to look at my vagina and play with my labia. I've got no complaints either.

The only thing I have to caution is to make sure that it doesn't get folded against the penis when he enters you, it's not very comfortable to get it caught up inside the vagina during intercourse.

Don't make a problem where there is no problem. You're getting worried about something that isn't any deal at all.

Go read the vagina monologues. You'll feel amazing afterwards.

JanetBee

replied on October 29th, 2004

Experienced User

Ohmigod, that is the most reprehensible website I have ever seen -- trying to make women as paranoid about their genitals as they are about the breasts!

Anyway, it's not even accurate - the vagina is the bit inside, and the labia (or "lips") are the outside bits. Just like penises and testicles, these come in all different sizes. I have never heard of men caring much at all about what they look like -- mine really does like to kiss them and they are quite obvious, real lips!

I really wish they would educate young girls a bit more about their bodies. We are all so worried that men won't like us the way they are. But in fact they do -- and part of what is interesting is the great variety.

darkV

replied on October 29th, 2004

New User

That websight is some nazi patriarchal caca if ive ever seen it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Evil or Very Mad

2ferano

replied on October 31st, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

I didn't look at the website because I don't particularly care to look at vaginas.
But honestly, love yourself! Seriously unless you get with a gynecologist the guy really isn't even going to notice. (and if you were with a gyno then he would already know about it!) yeah, they might notice that it doesn't look like big tit betty on their little porno, but then what woman does? Honestly, I don't really think a guy will care as long as he has a place to stick it. Sorry to be blunt, but really. We are all different and it is okay.
Personally, I think surgery is extreme. But, then it is your body, not mine so that is up to you. Do you really want to risk having complications and such? Good luck to you! Love yourself!

1sttimemama

replied on November 13th, 2004

Experienced User

That website is so doing it horrible....I cant believe they actually have like the perfect vagina recipe...Thats disgusting "helping women boost their selfesteem" no namers

sarahcarr_1980

replied on July 4th, 2007

New User

Hope This Helps Catch 22

Hiya i have the same problem and have been too embarreced to even tell my partner of 10 yrs am 26 and just feel ugly un natural, so i wrote a letter to the docter as i just could not face him he wrote back with a request to c him so i went as i now did not have to explain my self to him he refered me to see a gyno at the hospital i went we talked and he could see how upset it was making me i asked if you could have labia reduction sergury on the NHS as i have looked in to having it done privetley and it costs Â£4000 i posibley could never afford that. He wrote aletter to the PTA asking for funding and they agreed to fund me the opperation on the NHS so i go and have the opp in a few weeks. I just felt the same as you too embarreced to talk but if you write a letter expressing you emotions and how it makes you feel am sure they will refer you if thats what you want of course.
Hope this information as helped
sarahcarr_1980@yahoo.co.uk

bjmcfarland

replied on August 4th, 2007

New User

Labia's

catch22:
I hope you don't get down on yourself,Having labia's larger than others is not a bad thing, you just have to get used to them and be happy. You will find out that yours are more sensitive and having a boyfriend that likes to go down on you and give you pleasure will be to your advantage, If when you are older and you find that they get in the way of you being a women than think about having labioplasty, this is where the doctor size's your labia Minora to your liking. Don't be too hasty live and have a good time first, There is nothing wrong with you. If you need to talk to some one see your doctor ,if you can't talk to your mother.

Tylanas

replied on August 4th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I want to kill that website!! I shall respond with a different website!! Here:!

WARNING: THIS SITE CONTAINS NAKED, BEAUTIFUL, LARGE-LABIA!!!
http://www.sexylabia.com/

Also, check out this topic on our forums!
http://ehealthforum.com/health/viewtopic.p hp?t=35192&postdays=0&postorder=as c&start=0

bjmcfarland

replied on August 5th, 2007

New User

Labia's Size

Catch22:
Here are some web sites to go to and research information
Use the Mayo Clinic's web site, this is associated with the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, Another one to check out is webmd.com. this is also a good sitre to go too.
Be careful about goggling certain words because you never know where it will bring you. I'm working in the Health care field and will help you as much as I can and not cross the illegal limits of the law for your safety as well as mine I hope this helps you Smile

jakii

replied on August 11th, 2007

Experienced User

Does It Even Matter That Much So Long As It's There?

i didn't even know having large/small/uneven labia was a good thing or a bad thing i just thought it was just a thing like ... wait is it a good thing or a bad thing?... isn't it like having freckls and not having freckles ... i don't think it really matters that much ...ur gonna be fine

so_ima_man

replied on October 23rd, 2007

New User

I Find Large Labias Very Erotic And Sexy

probably the same as a woman that finds a large penis erotic and sexy. I love the way a large labia looks in bathingsuits or bikinis. don't be ashamed of it, flaunt it I say. You only live once, no use cowering inside the house. I wish I had a 8 inch penis but 6 1/2 seems to be enough for the woman in my life. I make up for it in width though. No one is ever satisfied completly with their sex organs or bodies in particular. just my 2 cents.

orthogirl

replied on October 26th, 2007

Experienced User

sweetie, i have pretty large labia minora and for a long time i didn't want to have sex. i lost my virginity late but, when i finally did.. i noticed that GUYS DONT CARE. one day you'll realize that for yourself hehe.. and no guys penis is perfect, either..

walking rushdie

replied on September 18th, 2008

New User

Don't worry!

There's nothing you should be worrying about, everyone's looks different. It's completely normal. I've talked with guys about it before and they really don't seem to care. for the guys that do- they're dumb.

Hell Fire

replied on September 18th, 2008

Experienced User

Ive always had a VERY large labia. It caused a lot of mental and painfull problems for years and years even now. I dod find a site called sexylabia.com that helped me so much get over it and not feel as ugly there. Not that i ever had a man cmplain, they all seemed to love it in fact. Im now actually having a reduction OP as its causeing so much pain. The amount of times ive torn myself, chaffed, or had some form of discomfort had become to much after years of it. Ive put up with it for so long. I will miss them yes but i wont miss the pain they have caused me! Ive recently got back into horse rideing and now remember the amount of pain i used to be in sometimes so cant do it anymore.

Jazzy77

replied on September 18th, 2008

Experienced User

maybe i live under a rock...but i've never heard of ppl being concerned over the size of their labia minora. that's so sad. i asked my b/f about this and he said that basically if a woman has a clean vagina, 99% of guys are extremely happy with that. he said he has a preference for whether or not a woman is shaved (he prefers shaved) but that's so he can SEE the labia minora. i would say mine is probably "average" but what the hell do i know.

i broke out the mirror when i first read this post. don't we ladies have enough to worry about without THIS? geez. btw i asked my b/f if he had a preference in the size of the labia minora and he said that he did not. he said that this conversation is going to a level that he believes guys generally don't go.

jasmine

louisey4111

replied on April 9th, 2009

New User

....

i was really uncomfortable about the appearance of mine for ages, but i've adopted a kind of 'if you dont like it - p*ss off'attitude... i'm 16 and recently sexually active, but now the comfort issue is really irritating me. I feel over stimulated a lot of the time, and in a bad sense - like a rubbing whenever i wear jeans and most knickers unless theyre really loose. I really dont want surgery and wont ever be able to afford it. So annoying...

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