I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I think about my baby often and im always wondering what my life would have been like. Im going 2 school to be an ob-gyn.
Last night a hit a huge low. Matt left (he lives in wi, dells) and I thought about everything and losing the baby and ended up crying my self to sleep. (sadly enough) I texted paul (the ex bf) and told him that I didnt know what to do and I was feeling really down. Well he called me today and its the first time we have talked in a long time. Theres still a lot of hurt feelings there. He told me that he wants to start being there for me, but he didnt wanna work on "getting a friendship" then I told him that if he honestly wanted to be there for me, he wouldnt have walked out on my when I lost the baby. When I needed his support on everything but he just got scared and ran. (he wanted 2 go on a break before I told him I was pregnant, when he told me that. I told him I was pregnant and then he changed his mind and wanted to completey be over) go figure huh!?!
So we ended up getting into a fight on the phone, (he still doesnt know about matt) but I told him that I hope he has a good life. And I wished him the best of luck then I hung up the phone.
After that I cryed for hours. Matt tryed talking to me on the phone but I would never answer his calls I was way 2 down to even talk to anyone, (except my 11week old boy pug puppy, mom bought him for me when I lost the baby) hes a cutie, only weights 3.5 pounds! But anyways... Im doing ok now. On saturday im gonna go vist matt. And stay till monday. That will be nice.
Oh and answer kristins question, im moving to chicago for college. Matt really wanted to go there and I wanted 2 get away so it all worked out in the end.